Rimshots 01/26/12

January25/ 2012

Carl Hiaasen’s Twin !
…… Are you a fan of gonzo novelist Carl Hiaasen?  Carl’s writes bizarre stories of certified nutjobs doing goofy stuff in Florida.  He manages to stay just ahead of reality with his off-beat yarns.   I found Carl Hiaasen’s evil twin – Tim Dorsey.
I discovered Tim Dorsey and his Serge A. Storm a few weeks ago.  Serge and his goofy pal, Lennie, are way more than a few fries short of a Happy Meal.   A Must Read (there are 8-10 Dorsey novels) if you can make any sense of a Hiaasen book.  As always, I recommend the audio version.

Both NFL Games Were Good’uns but
….. The real star of last Sunday was Kristin Chenoweth. She sang the National Anthem to a Candlestick Park mob of Bay Area sideshow freaks and Silicon Valley nerds, I am a Kristin Chenoweth groupie.  She’s cute as a bug in a rug and just the happiest little person there’s ever been. Yes, Wicked is my all-time favorite Broadway play.

New Indianapolis Colts Coach is
…… Former UNC Asst – Chuck Pagano.  Pagano was Butch(er)’s Def Coord in 2007.

He’s Not Here is for sale 
…… one of Franklin Street’s umpteen sticky-floored beer bars is changing hands.  The Canadian guy that bought He’s Not Here last year has tired of it.  He found a couple of goobers with more $$$ than good sense to take it.
Howsabout HNH as a great biz opportunity for Butch(er) – change the name from He’s Not Here to I Know Nuthin.
As a way to pick up drunk coeds, owning your own college-town bar runs distant second to an unmarked van and a rag soaked in chloroform.

Australian Open Tennis
….. Is Bjorn Borg still in the hunt?  Whatever happened to Evonne Goolagong?  Does anyone in America still play tennis?  Bring back wooden racquets…..

Chapelboro still in business
…… No update on how many “cancel my subscriptions” that chapelboro received; so they are gambling on one more from me over there…. check it out on “Voices of”.
I’m wedged in between Hilda The Organic Gardener and Saul The Raging Anarchist.

Hate Eli !!! 
…… one of Blondie’s Facebook Friends ranted how much she HATES Eli Manning.  I’m sorry but that’s scary.   I sort of get the hate that atheists gin up for Tebow.  And who doesn’t feel a twinge of negativity towards Giessele’s Boy Toy Tom…. but Baby Brother Eli ?  Anyone who hates Eli should not be allowed to buy scissors or use Wendy’s Drive-Thru.

“Things Named For Dickie” Update
…… To the best of our knowledge, nothing new was named for Dickie this week.  If he had any more gaggy retirement fests we did not hear about them.
Speaking of naming things…. Lefty Driesell is angry that Maryland is naming its court “Gary Williams Court”.   I can appreciate Lefty’s ire.  I suggest a compromise.  Call it – “Dickie’s Court”.  Why not?

Why do “Boards” always screw stuff up?
….. Needless little things ALWAYS get screwed up by boards.  When the Penn State Trustees fired JoePa they did it with a terse phone call instead of a courtesy visit by whichever trustee was closest to him.  That was stoopid.  Do only idiots get appointed to these boards or do they morph into idiots by group osmosis?
The only bunch less effective than “a board” is “a blue ribbon panel”.

It Used to be “Pose For Playboy”
…… when someone became an overnight celebrity, it used to be “an offer to pose nude for Playboy”.   Now it’s “received death threats on Twitter”.  Just ask that Ravens’ placekicker or the 49er punt returner or Chancellors who fire sleazy FB coaches.

Not Enough Crazies ???
…… A headline you never expected to see – “Duke Doesn’t Have Enuff Crazies” – student demand for seats in Cameron’s “crazies section” is in a downward spiral over the past few years.  Why? speculation abounds.   Pretty simple – not much interest in ACC Hoops in Punjab high schools.  With Duke’s alma mater now the theme from Disney’s It’s A Small World After All, finding a Duke undergrad who knows a hushpuppy from a Christian Laettner is darn near impossible…..
On a more positive note:  Duke students’ interest in cricket and snake charming is at an all-time high.

Say Good-night Gracie…..

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x