The UNC FB Search 2.0
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Imagine, if you will …
… As Da Vinci was putting the final brushstroke to Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile… Leonardo sneezed.
… As Neal Armstrong descended the ladder to the lunar surface, Neal’s foot slipped and his “one small step” had been a pratfall.
How might the historical / cultural future of our planet have been forever altered ? WELL…
Earlier this very morning – about 10:27 AM – such a frozen moment in History took place unbeknownst to all but about three folks… Me, Blondie and Another Guy.
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At 10:27 AM, my right index finger was literally poised over the SEND button to distribute The Search… How A
RealAD Does It to Mr & Mrs America and All The Ships At Sea… when my Incoming Email chimed.
Why did I stop? That Email could easily wait. I wasn’t expecting anything critical… or so I thought.
This incredible chain of events needs a proper set-up.
I spent most of yesterday binge-watching ten hours of Narcos: Mexico on Netflix. More on that later. Blondie & I had spent Thanksgiving in Madison WI with Twinkle, Scooter and Etc. returning late Saturday night. I wasn’t in “write a column” mode so I was putting off telling you How / What To Think about what was transpiring over yonder amid Kenan Jr’s lofty pines. I almost “did a column” late Sunday night which woulda been waiting for you as you awoke…. but Fate had a better idea.
I arose early this morning (Mon) all jazzed up to columnize you with The Search… How a RealAD Does It. Modesty aside it was One Helluva Incredible Column. A First Ballot Hall Of Famer for sure. Take my word for it… which is about all you can do as it turned out.
At 10:22 I followed my usual custom of sending a virgin column to a very select group of very select friends… BEFORE I send it out to THE WORLD. Between 10:22 and 10:27 my hard-earned reputation as The Internet Legend hung by a gossamer thread high above The Abyss. And I didn’t even know it.
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That Email…
So much for your opening sentence in today’s message. Got to say, I am a bit surprised. I suspect Mack wants to pass Dick Crum as our winningest coach. Old Chinese curse: may you live in interesting times.
…with an attached link to a Durham Herald BREAKING NEWS about You Know What.
The Email was from a deep-inside 110% reliable source amid those towering pines. I sloooowly moved my right index finger away from The SEND Button… and moved it to the TRASH Button.
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The “today’s message” he referenced explained in intricate detail alls you really need to know about how BubbaTheRealAD was (I thought) going to conduct The Search. Included were the usual Dickie Baddour zingers… and three incredibly amusing paragraphs assuring one & all that
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Mack Brown Returning is about as likely as
“Maxine Waters having Donald Trump’s Love Child”. YIKES!
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It’s now 3:32 PM and no Absolute Confirmation Yet that MACK IS BACK; but The Greater Triangle Area is in Post Apocalyptic Meltdown Mode so I’m going with IT.
Is it a bold move sure to generate all manner of speculation, controversy, comments and hysterical over-reaction? Yep. Ya know how much I do love CHAOS!
Reactions Within 50 miles of Ground Zero are as expected…
- The hobgoblins who live 24/7 in that Vast Wasteland known as HatedRivalWorld are chortling, snorting, guffawing and otherwise “doing what hated rival fans always do regardless”.
- A faction of UNC Board Monkeys were seen climbing UNC’s Bell Tower with intent to hurl themselves upon the concrete 50′ or so below… convinced their sleeping giant is for sure entering terminal trypanosomiasis (sleeping sickness).
- A similar gang – The We’ll Never Fergits – were seen marching down Franklin Street screaming “He Lied To Dem Boys” recalling the circumstances of Mack’s departure from Chapel Hill in December 1997. Their excitement over the pending announcement is somewhat less than euphoric.
- Contrasting… there is a group of give/take 60-70 diehard Mack Disciples who, like Ulysses wife Penelope, have kept a candle burning in the window assured THAT HE WILL RETURN SOMEDAY. Whether all 60-70 of them intend to purchase UNC FB season tickets is not clear.
None of these reactions should surprise anyone.
I’m assuming The Plan is for Mack to function as UNC Football CEO doing what he does best… organize / manage a staff of intensely loyal assistants… leaving much of the on-the-ground fundamentals, et al to that staff. Mack’s real time input during games on either Offense or Defense To Be Determined.
I further assume there will be a Designated Heir Apparent Head Coach-in-waiting / Coordinator filling the “Jimbo to Bobby” role in 3-4-5 years when Mack moves on to – maybe – AD when / if Bubba returns to South Bend or becomes PGA Tour Commissioner. I hope for the latter.
As for $$$$... lets bet Mack gets a reasonable $3+M deal for five years with ample “staff $$$” to corral the key kick-butt gurus du jour he already has his eyes on.
The $$$ does NOT MATTER as I keep telling you folks. It is all Monopoly Money. … The lights will stay on all over campus… the grass will get cut… and tenured faculty who teach one/two classes / week will keep their $150K until forever.
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Nothing will change except increased faculty resentment that “a rich old heterosexual white man” is returning to Chapel Hill… replacing Silent Sam in a perverted sense.
Will Mack “retake” in-state recruiting from DD? Probably not.
Will Mack pull wagonloads of 5-stars out of Texas? Probably not.
Will Mack go either 2-9 or 9-3? Probably not. … more like 7-5 maybe by Year 2 at least.
Will Mack rejuvenate a historically somnambulate UNC Football fan base? Yeah… sure… LOLOL…
Will Mack recruit thugs and otherwise “marginal character-types”? I sure hope not but who knows. I don’t recall that being a BFD in Austin but I could be wrong.
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Not that anyone cares any more BUT… Larry Fedora’s “buy-out” is meted; meaning any coaching or TV $$$ he might get the next 3/4 year counts towards the $12M UNC owes him… which is paid out over the remaining term of the contract. He did NOT get handed a satchel full of “bearer bonds” on Sunday morning.
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So, as I close this… my 2nd BLSays of this day… I am reminded of the Front Page Editor of The Chicago Daily Tribune on November 3, 1948. I bet he wishes he had gotten an Email just before he said “RUN IT”. “IT” being DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN.
IN CONCLUSION… Yesterday (Sunday) I binged-watched ten hours of Narcos: Mexico on NetFlix. Very INTENSE.
You may recall I watched the Original Narcos about six months ago. That was about the Rise / Fall of Pablo Escobar and the Medelin Cartel. This one overlaps a bit with that about Miquel Angel Felix Gallardo and DEA agent KiKi Camarena… NOT El Chapo. You do meet El Chapo in this one… but he is a minor character. … Wait til you meet “Isabella” – one HOT TAMALE – YOWSA! … IF you like Very Intense 10-hours about Narcos… I definitely recommend Narcos: Mexico on NetFlix. …
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We Carolina fans must accept two facts. First Mack is no Saban. Second UNC is no Alabama. In 5 years time Mack will have Carolina humming at the 7-4 or for a really good year 8-3. 90% of us will be happy with that. No embarrassments, not too many thugs. I was totally against Mack but flipped yesterday when I accepted the two facts.
CONGRATULATIONS… drinking BobLee’s Kool-Aid over the past few years has had its positive effect on you. I am composing my follow-up column “Mack 2.0 – The First 48 Hours” and note versions of your valid points.
Reply to CNR RE: Jimbo:
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My daughter-in-law’s late father, coach Sam, Jimbo’s baseball coach at Liberty HS in WV would be proud of Jimbo. I never got to meet Sam but would have loved to and gone together to see a game with him at Yankee Stadium to see our beloved Bronx team. Aggie’s will continue to love Jimbo as long as he wins. Sounds like you had a month long weekend full of family and games, especially the 7 overtime marathon. Did the luckiest or the best conditioned team win?
Watched the MB presser. Interesting universal cliches from beginning to end. Wishes for Coach Brown’s success. . Hopefully, Coach Fedora has learned that off-the-field is as important as the Xs&Os and conditioning. . I am fatigued. Spent Friday and Saturday in Aggieland. Basketball practice and game, Midnight Yell, and from 5:30 PM to midnight in Kyle Field with children and grandchildren, half of whom were Aggies and the other half were Tigers. Great Thanksgiving week. Family pushed me in a wheelchair for four days. Great bands and cheering sections of cousins in purple/gold and maroon/white . They all say “Howdy”… Read more »
The MB Hire has certainly “made an impact” thus far that “some guy from Troy… or Memphis… or…” could never have created. The next step is his staff.
BobLee:
I agree that Scott is very content to coach at 3,333′. Add to that, his oldest, Bryce is a very successful RB/DB for the Watauga Mountaineers. They are still in the 3AA playoff hunt as a #1 seed.
Isn’t there a bit of irony here when a coach is replaced after agonizing thru a long period of fallout resulting fromTGU …,,,,while being replaced by a predicessor who may well have been a direct recipient of the shenanigans that led to the TGU?
IMO that is a bit of a stretch; but “All’s fair in Love, War and Bitter Rivalries” so go for it. TGU was “a Dean Smith Thing”.
Jordan Bazant … Huh? …. Who He, BobLee ???
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Jordan Bazant is Mack Brown’s Agent… and Rick Pitino’s Agent… and lots of other high-profile sports coaches and broadcasters’ agent… Oh, and one other guy…
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Jordan Bazant is Dave Doeren’s Agent too!
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So what? No “what” just a “bet you didn’t know” little factoid. Google Jordan Bazant….
BobLee: I do not expect that SS did make a ‘short list’ at UNC (which is fine with me). As I explained to a worried App buddy of mine, SS, not coming from a ‘name’ school, would not be big enough for the FatCat egos. Still and all, as he was looked at, if App does win on 21 Sep, that will be fresh meat for the Board Monkeys, not that Board Monkeys need much in the way of excuses to begin digitally pooping in their hands and flinging it. . In a complete change of subject, I was in… Read more »
Raleigh’s North Hills AKA MidTown AKA WorldOfKane is “something”. I try to avoid the very congested East Side as much as possible. The original North Hills (West Side) is fairly easy to navigate.
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I always like to see a coach appreciate his existing situation and be content to “be there” with the comfortable life it affords his family. Both Jerry Moore and SS seem to view ASU as that situation for them.
If UNC wanted a former App coach, I am glad it turned out to be Mack Brown, and not Scott Satterfield. Looking forward to 21 Sep 2019.
I thought Satterfield was an intriguing candidate. BUT… doubt he ever made what was apparently a VERY “short list”. He may be perfectly happy at Appy where he is beloved and likely has quite a nice life.
Why doesn’t UNC just drop football. Would solve a lot of problems and make the present student body, faculty and administrators happy. They’ll never beat Clemson anyway …. ???
I am sure you are NOT the first to offer that suggestion. It always resonates with “a certain faction”… and I certainly relish the CHAOS that would in-sue were it to come to a vote of Alumni / Fans / Faculty / etc.
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Whatever impact MB will have on “UNC Football”… “energizing the fan base” is the least likely. Fedora did not do so in 2015 with 11 Ws and a 40pts/game offense.
IT’s OFFICIAL …. as of Tuesday AM
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Mack Brown IS back as UNC HFBC. Everyone involved in the goofy Monty Python World of Big Time College FB can now assume their assigned roles in this 24/7 SNL skit-on-steroids.
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If you have any questions as to YOUR assigned role, simply Ask BobLee and we will be glad to assist you.
BL, Thanks for the “AGE” analysis of the coaches. It never hit me that State was hiring YOUNG coaches. . Roy & Mack – 68 . Mikey – 71 & Cut – 64 . Doeren – 47 & Keats – 46 . OMG. Now I see the problem, or the perceived issues. . Being born in 45 and having children born in 70 & 72 puts this whole thing in perspective. . I will defer to your statements about who wrote the releases. Still seemed a bit mushy. Louisville was more macho, at least in “deeds”. . Obviously the old,… Read more »
It’s been very enjoyable for all of us Red and White from State since Saturday. I’ll give it to Bubba; he had his ducks in a row, moved efficiently and settled this thing without all the flight tracking, coach sightings, etc. Not so sure about hiring MB, but it’s always a gamble. I was thinking when I first heard of the hiring, there were times pre-DD that I would have gladly accepted another Dick Sheridan coaching tenure
Be careful. Such a rational assessment could get you banned from Amedeo’s for life! In addition to OC / DC “Gurus”, MB will need some aggressive “go-get-ems” as recruiters? Can he corral enough semi-literate meat on the hoof to Win 7-8-9 games/year?
BL, As someone said “better to be lucky than smart”. At least you did not hit SEND. . What was Mack’s most used pet name (as in Fedora’s THE HAT)? Somewhere, I think I recall SmoothieBrownie. Maybe that is what his Twitter handle will be. The FIRST hire ought to be a Social Media guru that is also the censor for the individual team members tweets. . BTW. I realize you were pressed and stressed. The HAT’s contract is for FOUR years. Thus 4 years times approximately $3 Mill per annum. There are those legal eagles that thought he would… Read more »
There is a strong positive to a carefully worded press conference. Bubba does his own material. Roy wings it of course. Larry got progressively more provocative as the Ls mounted over the last two years. That his UNC career ended on a Thug Incident was not lost by many UNC fans. That he always seemed to have 3-4 loose cannons on his roster never set well with many. As for Chihuahua, I’m sure Bubba gave her the polite respect due to her office as he should.
BL what a day in Chapel Thrill know some TH fans that love that Mack is Back.
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Best or wildest comment I heard all day was “his source” who is “in the know” said Mack will coach 5 years then become AD!!!! Have you heard this from any of your “in the know sources”?
The Mack To AD is a pretty standard assumption based on not much evidence. It’s been less than 24 hours and the WildAss Rumors are stacking up like cordwood. Remember the BobLee Rule for Conspiracy Theories: No more than 50% have any truth whatsoever… but which 50%? The same rule applies to WARs about coaches.
Yes this is more column glory days indeed, but I always found Mack likable. Like a smarter Roy. Now the fans can clamor for a return to those glorious days of reaching the Peach Bowl.
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He needs youth in his staff. May I suggest Mike O’Cain and Steve Logan. Nothing like gas in a fire. Pretty sure the Chest is not coming over.
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Somewhere a BM is calling this a coup and comparing him to Saban.
The WARs are going to be AWESOME with each new day bringing dozens of new and more sensational ones. GOTTA LOVE IT!
Where is Sunny Jim Tatum when you need him? Again enjoyed this article and probably the first one too If I had seen it :>)) . Over the past month I’ve had about a half dozen mutual friends ask why I enjoy taking it from you on this blog. I tell them it’s well written and thoughtful as well as you being a friend (not always harmonious). That we agree on things like Eastern North Carolina upbringing, love of family and especially grandchildren, baseball with Cards/Dodgers jockeying, and the old TGU in after-thought. On politic we don’t agree on anything… Read more »
You keep telling me again and again about all these supposed “mutual friends” concerned about how I treat you on MY WEBSITE. I can never come up with more than 2 and a possible 3rd. Tell’em I’ve offered to put you in touch with my Tech Guys to build you your own website. . The Great Mack Experiment MIGHT work if he puts together an awesome staff… which he could do. It is certainly a gamble but so is every coaching hire. As far as Mack’s age – 68… Roy is also 68… Saban is 67… and Mike Krzyzewski is… Read more »
BTW, the only thing missing was “O lost, and by the wind grieved, ghost, come back again” channeling of a little Thomas Wolfe. Doubt Mack will reference it in his introductory presser. That would surely lose more than half of the BM’s and 90+% of a signing class.
Since less than 3% of all UNC alum ever read LHA… thats a safe bet.
This is a terrible hire, and I am an alum and fan. Not the first terrible football coach hire at UNC, however, by a long shot. I am really disappointed.
Be assured you are NOT alone in that assessment today. I don’t have any emotional investment any more… just a morbid curiosity.
I also got to see Version 1.0 and actually copy & pasted it because as I was about to read it someone passed by and said MB was going to UNC…again. I then quickly read just before the message self-destructed – a la Mission Impossible – the “Not Mack and Not Brown” and the predicted hire timeline of 2-3 weeks which sounded reasonable to me but Bubba proved he was a real-real AD with enough time to salvage some of the early signing period semi-literate targets. MB to UNC sounds more like an appointment that had been made a few… Read more »
It was quite a morning for sure. Mack is only a year or so older than Nick Saban so not exactly Bill Snyder one-foot-in-the-grave old. . His short term success will depend on His Staff… what they can salvage of Fedora’s roster. Any recruits he can grab are a bonus. How area rivals will try to discredit him is obvious. He could do very well. . IMO, Narcos:Mexico is more INTENSE than Narcos One but maybe because I just saw it. Since you know what is going to happen to KiKi, that is anti-climactic. I was not familiar with Felix… Read more »
I must admit this is soooo much fun to watch stuff. In addition reading the melt downs on the Wulfie boards and the Tar Heel boards are just icing on the watch cake. I frankly could care less who and what happens and I expect you think similarly other than this could turn out to be great column fodder for sure. I told someone in the know this morning when they send me an email a few minutes behind yours that my take is simple. Mack has had his fun in Texas and this decision for Mack is real simple..happy… Read more »
Yep, thats pretty much it. Mutually Assured Hysteria… I LOVE IT!
Does Ethel keep her seats? Can she wear her “We Back Mack” tee from 89?
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And I really wanted to know how one goes about making this hire. This smells a lot like a call in October from whomever fronted the IPF or the lawyers the last decade saying: hey, I know a guy who doesn’t need a Governors Club membership, but his staff may.
I think any/all of your possibilities are likely scenarios. I GUARANTEE YOU this seed was planted well before this past Saturday. Was it dependent upon the outcome of the game? Maybe… but I doubt it.
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You gotta admit IT is lots more interesting than hiring the next “some guy from Southern Miss or Troy or Memphis or…”.
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Who knows? it could turn out OK… or not?
How did I get to read it then? I was struck by the prediction, ‘his first name will not be Mack…and his last name will not be Brown’. I wonder if Bubba thought this was a good idea or was his arm twisted by folks who have more money than knowledge of college sports. Maybe he will serve as a CEO figurehead and will hire some good assistants and recruiters. Who knows.
You musta slipped in before I zapped it. About a 60-second window. I had posted it but not SENT it out in the usual ALERT.
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Yes, I see Mack as CEO leaving all the whistle-tootin and screaming to his staff. No idea (yet) how this idea germinated. Maybe Mack sent Bubba his resume Sunday mornng ?? OK, probably not.