Of Course HE KNEW

January23/ 2015

  A well-known, controversial, albeit incredibly successful Micro-Manager is “in the news”.    The issue in question seems trivial but does involve violation of a official Rule.

When there’s nefarious mischief afoot within an organization run by a controversial Micro-Manager the public hue and cry is cacophonous in volume.   The “it” absolutely could not have happened without his fore-knowledge and full authorization; ergo “Get A Rope!”

There is one and only one circumstance in which a “Micro-Manager” is granted immunity from public prosecution and/or persecution –  If he is YOUR Micro-Manager.

Meanwhile the Accounts Receivable folks over at Skadden Arp are grinning….. The BlueZone Boys’ war chest is officially open for plundering.  Help yo’selves Mr Skadden and Mr Arp.  The TGU Legal Circus has officially begun.  The Vegas Over/Under on this is Five Years or $6,000,000.

From Sea To Shining Sea is there a phenomenally successful Micro Manager (not named Krzyzewski) more universally disliked than that dour curmudgeon in the gray hoodie up in Foxboro – William Stephen “Bill” Belichick?

I mean “Really”.   Other than the residents within a 20-mile radius of Bob Kraft’s suite at Gillette Stadium, how would you ever find an impartial jury to try “that a-hole Belichick” for anything.

Imagine you’re in the jury pool.  Either of the attorneys (the peoples’ or the “sleazy mob lawyer” assigned to defend that puppy-killing SOB) show you any picture ever taken of that puppy-killing SOB in the gray hoodie and ask “do you think he did it?”   The “it” could be masterminded 9-11 to embezzled the orphans’ lunch money to “deflated the balls” and your reaction would be “Hell yeah, he did all of those PLUS I’m sure he knew about Lance Thomas’ bling.”   Oops, I’m mixing up my malevolent  Micro-Managers.

Lets digress a second.   Imagine you are Roger Goodell and its last Sunday.   You’ve just watched that Humdinger of a finish of Seahawks v Packers and you’re watching the Patriots whup up on the Horseshoes.   Your only worry in a season overflowing with worries (Face it…. this has NOT been “a good year” for Roger) is Russell Wilson just claimed to the world that “God Is A Seahawks Fan”.   The emails and tweets from angry Christian Cheeseheads are already pouring in.

Your wife – former FoxNews reporter Jane Skinner (betcha didn’t know that, did you?) – snuggles up next to you and assures you the God Loves Russell Loves God thingy will not reach “casino elevator video” status.

“It’s gonna be OK, Rog honey.   Seattle v New England will be a Boffo match-up for TV.   We get to spend the next two weeks in sunny warm Phoenix.   What could possibly go wrong?”   But you’re “That Damn” Roger Goodell.  You know SOMETHING always goes wrong.    You are so jinxed that “Murphy” is about to cede you naming rights to his law. “Murphy’s Law”?   Get it?

Roger’s spidey senses are on full alert.   “Other than that one ball, those other eleven look a bit low to me.” ….. “Oh Honey, you’re really paranoid.   Here, have some more of Aunt Helen’s artichoke crab dip.” …… Well, of course, Rog’s spidey senses were right on.

Deflate-gate has blown up bigger than Gene “Big Daddy” Lipscomb.  Even Albert knows about it.   Whoa!  It dwarfed SOTU.  Albert has no clue what SOTU is.   It obliterated the announcement of Kim Kardashian’s new book of “Selfies”.   Did you know Kim is “a trailblazer in the Selfie Movement”?   She is.

A distant 2nd to Deflate-gate in a global nexus search, I’m proud to announce, is AgentPierce’s column suggesting Art Pope as the next UNC System Prez – LINK.   You mighta guessed The Hiring of Gene Chizik but No.   #2 was Pierce’s Pope Piece.   Who knew those 8,000,000,000 Chinese are big Eeeeevil Art fans.


A Digression:  Did you know according to a very long time Chapel Hill resident, the Real Reason Tom Ross was Lame Ducked is – The BOG is now totally controlled by “State fans” …. many of whom don’t even have college degrees!.    Really folks, you oughta travel around with me for 24 hours.   The incredible crap I hear.  Yeeee Haa !!

I relayed that info to one of the FOUR NC State graduates that ARE on the BOG.   He noted that “all four of us do have degrees…. and none are in AfAm Studies.”  OUCH.  He also stated that 15 of the current 32 members of the BOG are UNC-CH graduates.  That is down from the 28 out of 32 up until five years ago.  The State BOGer guy added that he too is convinced Coach K knew about Lance Thomas’ bling.

Speaking of my travels – This is ’69 Mizzou Tigers Reunion Weekend.  I hit the Springfield MO tarmac at 1:00 PM Saturday for 36 hours of “Remember that time….. ?”


Allowing that we might have a few BayState / Pats fans expats here, is there Anything that Bill Belichick could be accused of that you’re not 100% convinced he did?

It was a seminal moment in his press conference when Belichick was asked – “Coach, did you know about The Crowder Scheme before she told Burgess, or just after she told Burgess?”

And the follow-up:  “Did you introduce Lance Thomas to the guy that sold him the bling?” ……

To the question “Do you think Tom Brady knew about …….?”  I loved Belichick’s reply “I really didn’t know John Blake all that well.”

Bill’s  final response:  “I’m afraid you’re confusing me with those other three very successful coaches that are also Micro-Managers – Mike and Dean and Roy – and who are also universally disliked except by those who worship them to a very unhealthy degree.”

It’s looking like Gisele’s Boy Toy mighta coulda may havea known something ‘bout dem balls but “game ball inflation” may be the ONE aspect of Patriot Football that “that puppy-killing SOB in the gray hoodie” does not micro-manage.   Which does not mean Roy, Dean, Mike and The Butcher did not know about it.   Butch is trying to get ANOTHER appearance on OTL to bite his lower lip and mutter “I had nuthin’ to do with blowin’ up those balls.”

I was thinking thru all the high profile “You’re in a Heapa Trouble Boy” cases of recent times.   The only celebrity perp I could come up with who is NOT burdened with “He is a Micro-Manager so absolutely – HE KNEW” is Bill Clinton.

“Slick Willie” has been called every name in the book – including Slick Willie – but never accused of being a Micro-Manager.   When he said “I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky” his phalanx of adamant defenders, including, Madeline Albright, all agreed that when a man has random sexual encounters as prolifically as that horny ol’ satyr does, how could he be expected to recall every one of them?”

Maybe loyal defenders of Belichick, Dean, Roy, Mike and The Butcher could try the “HornDog” Defense?

Otherwise, stick to the tried and true – Micro-Managers know EVERYTHING crooked and illegal that goes on within their program EXCEPT:  OUR Micro-Manager, of course.    Because, well…. He’s OUR GUY.

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