RIMSHOTS: 12/23/14

December23/ 2014

Regular commenter “Yogi” beseeched “bring back Rimshots” which I was planning to do anyway.  Another commenter noted that “if you don’t write about TGU (and “sports crap”) you will lose a large % of viewers.”   But not a viewers segment I’ve ever cared about.

Yes, we do get a regular dose of both ABC and UNC board monkey bandwagon viewers whenever we do a TGU Update.  Duh!  I will write about TGU until it stops percolating and festering or until Carol Folt can dunk, whichever comes first.  If I cared about board monkey viewers I would run pics of nekikid cheerleaders or give out John Swofford’s secret bank account # “in the Caymans”.

Merry Christmas Yogi!  Here is a Rimshots.

Twitter / Facebook / LinkedIn:   I am going to start “doing more” on Facebook and Twitter.   I’ve had active accounts for a year or so but have never really done anything with them.  You can Like and/or Follow me thru the links over yonder in the right-hand column.  ….. I do have a LinkedIn account but NEVER go there.

GPA Plumpers:   I saw the term GPA Plumpers recently.   Every Big Time college FB / BKBLL team has’em.   Their sole purpose is to artificially inflate (“plump up”) a team’s overall GPA to avoid NCAA sanctions.   They are the “small slow white guys” on the end of every bench – aka Roy’s “Biscuit Boys” so-named for getting in the last two minutes of a blow-out to try and “hit 100” to win every fan a free Bojangles biscuit. ….. FB calls’em “walk-ons”.   Same thing. …… To negate their artificial impact, just count the GPAs of the two-deep roster and/or anyone who plays the first three quarters.  Another common trick is to brag about the GPA of “ALL of our student athletes”.  The fencer majoring in Quantum Physics ain’t the problem.  The on-going issue with the semi-literate “faux-students” is the AfAms recruited in FB and BKBLL – PERIOD.

Frank Caliendo:   This guy is really really good…. if you like impressionists.    Impressionists are like ventriloquists and mimes and Southern Redneck comedians and synchronized swimming and accordionists.  You either like’em or you don’t.  I’m not much for mimes and synchronized swimming, but I do like Frank Caliendo.  He seems like he would be a great guy to have as a friend…. and loves to entertain people.

Unbroken:  If you have read the book – Unbroken – you know a very key element is when Louis Zamperini visits a Billy Graham Revival in Los Angeles.   It will come as no surprise that Producer Angelina Jolie chose to essentially “ignore that part” in the movie opening Thursday.  ……. Another Christmas Day release – American Sniper – is suppose to be REALLY good.

Katie Nolan:  This gal is pretty good.  She does a weekly podcast on FoxSports.com Warning:  She is R-rated.   Her “show” is pretty much aimed at a board monkey / whoopee cushion mentality but pretty clever.   As with ESPN’s Michelle Beadle, one gets the impression Katie Nolan is not exactly “saving herself for Mr Right” if ya get my drift.   You know Beadle and Katie Nolan get a LOT of invites to frat parties.

“…Stuck In Stuck Up”:   A very credible retired UNCCH Executive Admin lamented to me recently that UNCCH’s root problem is “They are Stuck In Stuck Up!”  BINGO!  I loved that and it is sooooo true.   That is simply another way of saying “Knee-walking drunk from decades of binge drinking Carolina Way wine.”…. Their recovery won’t begin until they admit they have anything to recover from.   It’s been four+ years since the train jumped the tracks and many are still canoeing down the River of Denial.  Damn you Dan Kane ????

Paul Finebaum:  I REALLY like Paul Finebaum on SEC Network.  Yes, he is one goofy looking dude which is part of his charm.   Its tons of SEC-hype crap but the show is really about “the callers”.   This is Real Board Monkeys of SEC Nation.  Paul absolutely gets that many of his callers are over-the-top loonies (“Charles From Reeltown”) and he just smiles as these goobers display their gooberness. …. I keep waiting for NCSU68 and WolfKennel to call-in.

Stanford as the Role Model:  Many like to use Stanford as the Role Model for the Academics & Athletics Symbiosis.   “The Farm” in Palo Alto probably is better than most but….. check out their new Dean of Religious Life (LINK).   This dingbat gives UNC’s Bart Ehrman a run for his money in the Are You Kidding Me category.

Bowl Swag:   “Each player gets a personal Fathead.”  ZOWIE!  …… worried about what area “student-athletes” are getting as “Bowl Swag” this year?   Who said “Christmas in Freakin’ Detroit” does not have advantages!   Each bowling Fedorian gets a Fathead of himself.   (Albert, Fatheads are life-size wall decals) along with other crap. ….. The Bitcoin folks are giving WuffDave’s guys a bunch of Oakley crap …… DukeDave’s Devils in El Paso are getting Helen of Troy hair dryers ???  …..  Ruff’s Pirates get “hoodies” and a football. ……. Most bowls these days have “Swag Suites” where players shop for whatever techno-crap they want with a $400 gift card.   Best Buy gift cards are also popular. …… Here’s the complete Bowl Swag list – LINK

Jim Harbaugh Mich $$$$:   You do know that as soon as/if Jim Harbaugh signs a $7,000,000 deal with Michigan…. that immediately raises the bar for all other “in-demand” coaches.   I PREDICT:  Nick Saban will be over $10,000,000 per within two years.   It won’t stop there.   It won’t ever stop.
Sherlock:   I’m becoming more and more a Netflix kinda guy.   House Of Cards is THE All-Time Best Netflix show….. BUT Sherlock is a very close second.   Benedict Cumerbatch IS “Sherlock”.   He is a GREAT Holmes.  It’s Holmes & Watson in modern day London.  IMO, it’s better than Elementary.   It’s more dialogue and characters than it is “action”.  There are three seasons available on Netflix.  “The Game is on!” …… Check it out.

TO:   ABC Lynch Mobbers….. Franklin Street Ostrichs…. and all you WONDERFUL Semi-Sane Folks in between.  YOU KNOW Who You Are.



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