Gonna Need More TVs

November11/ 2014

It was a classic scene in a classic movie.   “Sheriff Brody” was chumming off the back of The Orca when Bruce The Shark popped up with massive jaws agape.  “…. (we) need a bigger boat.”  Brody proffered to Quint and Hooper.

I was not in the danger-filled waters off Amity Island on Saturday last, but it occurred to me at several intervals from noon to around 10-ish that I’m “gonna need more TVs”. ….. Even with my hardy 36” Samsung set to two “all football all day” channels.   I was hitting “Prev” all day but was still missing 2-3-4 other must-see games.   It was an embarrassment of spectatorial riches.

MORE yuck emerging from the font of never-ending yuckiness over yonder where Dick Crum once labored. ….. and we meet Milana Yayntrub….. from Uzbikastan ???

The Final Football Four promotion seems to be working pretty well.  I sense that coaches, players and fans are a bit caught up in “Who’s Your Four This Week?”   Is there anything quite as useless as “Who were Your Four Last Week?”

Repubs are still partying from last Tuesday’s epic NOT a Referendum on Obama Referendum (says Obama) and waiting nervously to skewer their winners for governing like losers.   And someone asked “If Duke goes 11-1 then somehow beats Jameis in The Swofford Bowl, does Duke make “Condi’s List”?”  ….. IF Duke did make The List…..

….. and the Japs bomb Dallas in early January, would they move the Grand Championship to The Wally like they did in 1942?   I guarantee you I’m the only person to consider that series of intriquing improbables.

As much as I sat transfixed in front of my 36” Samsung on Saturday, I did not watch a single NFL play on Sunday.  That was not a protest against the “Sure Roger Never Saw The Elevator Video / Adrian has How Many Kids by How Many Baby Mammas” League at all.   Roger’s League is no more or less hypocritical in its own way than the “Student-Athletes” (burp, snort, giggle) that toil on Saturday.   I just found a lot of other things to do on Sunday.

Neither Sat nor Sun could hold a candle to the MLB Playoffs but don’t get me started on THAT again.

Within a 30-mile bubble from the intersection of I-40 and Miami Blvd, is there really excitement building for a possible “On To Shreveport” Showdown amid Kenan’s lofty pines on November 29th?  Could there possibly be a sadder testament to the current state of “State v Carolina” than a Shreveport Showdown while Duke will likely end up with more Ws than it’s neighboring rivals COMBINED.

If Nov 29th is indeed “for all the Shreveport marbles” that would mean WuffDave lost to DeaconDave in The Carter.   What could possibly be more embarrassing than that?   I know…. I know…. I know.

Howsabout “a secret peeper” in a The Carter restroom?   Yep…. Kendall Jones (46 of Raleigh) was arrested for “secret peeping” in a The Carter Men’s Room while GaTech was romping outside said restroom.   THAT is just sooooo creepy.  LINK.

Surely some Franklin Street nitwit has already demanded “the Death Penalty for peeping” for WuffWorld.   Will Dan Kane begincrowder-(4) an investigative series on “peeping”?

While WuffLoonies and HeelLoonies debate peeping versus paper classes…. I can’t help but wonder if Kendall Jones married Deborah Crowder what would their children look like?

  With colleges now competing to see who has the most outed gays…. most Islamo-terrorists…. most tranys…. most commie faculty… most on-going scandals… et al…. how long before “they” brag about who has the most “secret peepers” at their football games?  UNC leads State in most/all of those earlier competitions but apparently State is up 1-0 in this new one.   At least “for now”.

Speaking of “The Latest” over yonder in Chapel Hill…..

Michael McAdoo endeared himself to the Franklin Street Madeleines  (aka “Holocaust Deniers”) by engaging a “play for keeps” Charlotte law firm to sue the bejebbers out of The Flagship.   I don’t know how class-action law suits work but I figure this oughta be worth 3-4 very popular columns for me before it’s over (“over” being a joke…. as nothing is ever “over” as regards The Great Unpleasantness).

Tydreke say Whaaaa ???  Oh My…. LINK.

Should UNC apologize to Mary Willingham…. what some Chapelborians are saying ….. LINK.

Meanwhile “The Faculty” at said Flagship is plotting, planning and scheming to get actively involved in the “admission of” and “academic progress of” future generations of UNC “student-athletes”.   Uh oh!  If you think having Obama in charge of America’s healthcare was not such a good idea….. just wait ‘til this whizbang scheme rolls out.

This year could be UNC’s last chance to even dream of “Christmas In Shreveport” for a long long time.   The NCAA may decide having UNC’s Faculty calling the shots over its FB and BskB programs is far worse than any punitive action it (NCAA) could come up with.

Try explaining to a UNC faculty squirrel the difference between a deep-snapper and a nickel back…. or “a high ankle sprain” versus “tackling in space”!  The Mythical Southern Ivies may not even want UNC if “The Faculty” is calling the shots”.

Wonder who had the nasty task of calling Larry Fedora at 5 AM to tell him Romar Morris was arrested for DWI after the Miami whuppin’.   Imagine having to explain to Roy who and what “The Faculty” is that may be taking over his program.  FACULTY ???  I can easily seMilanae a Roy-version of Allan Iverson and “PRACTICE”.

I am 100% certain that Roy has no clue who Milana Yayntrub is?   He won’t even know after I tell you who she is.   Milana is from Uzbekistan.   That probably won’t help Roy too much.

Milana is “The AT&T Girl”.   You know…. that long-haired brunette in the blue shirt who is like a customer service Asst Manager who is “girl-next-door pretty” and has the snappy repartee with customers in those endless AT&T commercials.  That’s Milana.   Her character’s name is “Lily”.   No, she is not “Flo’s” daughter (Progressive Insurance’s Flo).

I hope none of those “creepy Rob Lowes” ever come into Milana’s AT&T store.  Don’t you?

I wonder if “creepy Rob Lowe” knows Kendall Jones.  THAT would be very “creepy”.


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