A Whoa Nellie Moment. WOW!

December02/ 2013

Why God invented ESPN.   It was a moment that screamed for Keith Jackson to do one more “Whoa Nellie”.   If one did not have “a dog in the fight” (and I didn’t) it was as incredible a sports theater moment as you’re ever likely to witness.

I don’t know, nor care, why Auburn lunatics and Bama lunatics hate one another.   I don’t hate Nick Saban or Katherine Webb or the trees at Toomers Corner.   For sports, it was Jack Ruby shooting Oswald and you staring at your TV saying “what just happened?”

The only similar moments in my recollection are a certain “Air ball in Albuquerque” in 1983.   “Eli’s pass to David Tyree” and I suppose Gio’s punt return merits slight comparison too.

Walk-off homers and buzzer-beaters are not that rare.  This was a “ain’t NEVER seen that before” moment.  You put aside all the blatant hypocrisy and hold-your-nose aspects of Big Time college football and just enjoy the moment.

Sure, if it had been The National Championship instead of “just The Iron Bowl” it would have had even more high drama.   And if I had had any emotional attachment beyond “just a fan of football” my reaction would have been ratcheted accordingly.

For those goobers among you who insists that to be “a great moment” it must involve your little itty bitty world, I suppose a football moment in LA (Lower Alabama) doesn’t rate; but for the rest of us it was “a Humdinger”.   80,000 people nervously contemplating several likely scenarios and then OHMYGAWD.

In the space of 5-6 seconds The Heisman Race – The BCS – The SEC – Nick vs The Bear – Gus Who – et al all went KABOOM.

“Moments like that” and watching a bazillion GEICO, Progressive and AT&T commercials is why I do love watching college football.

Blondie doesn’t know, or give a flip, about obscure football rules like “yes, you can run back a field goal attempt” so her reaction was more of confusion.   Plus she was saving her irrational reactions for the Mizzou v aTm game that was fast approaching.   She was conjuring up a magic spell to disable Johnny Football “not to permanently disable him, but just something to keep him out of this game”.  But even she sensed we had just witnessed something special.

Blondie and I may have been the only folks within several 100 miles who donned Mizzou gear and cared sort of a lot about “the next game”.  I had been on the Faurot Field sidelines when The Tigers beat two other Heisman winners – Steve Owens and Johnny Rogers so I knew it was possible.

Blondie is a bit more fragile in her steadfastness.   Mizzou goes “3 & out” on their first series and she starts to waiver.  The Aggies score first and she does the “Mizzou is gonna choke AGAIN” mumble.   For the record EVERY fan of every school thinks their team always “chokes” and “lets’em down”.

As you now know, in the end Truman was a very happy Tiger and Harpo’s was rockin’ on Saturday night.   It’s On To Atlanta for a program that began with “Pinkel on the hot seat” and is now just a domino or two from OHMYGAWD territory.

Meanwhile “amid the lofty pines”…..  Somewhere in the bowels of The Kenan Football Center are several cans of light blue Krylon spray paint that sit unused…. save’em for next year with “the hope that springs eternal”.  The Bell remains a darker blue and Larry Fedora goes 0-2 versus Cut.

Yeah, it was close but a rivalry game its not like horseshoes or hand grenade throwing.  Close don’t count.  Scoreboard counts.

LarryFromHattiesburg took a credibility step backwards about 3:00 PM Saturday.  Bubba’s phone likely won’t be ringing “asking for permission to talk to him” for a year or so now.   Yeah, lets spin THAT as a good thing.

Oh and Larry….. I know you can’t resist tinkering with our uniforms but Auburn has THE best looking unis in college football.  And have had for years.  They don’t see the need to “go black”.  I’m just saying…..

Not to worry….. Deems May is still blaming the ACC refs.  Talk about “getting old”; Deems’ weekly 5-minute post-game tirade that “the refs are out to get us” sounds like a PackPride retard on Red Bull.

Speaking of “spinning” how is Jared Haase doing down at UAB?  OUCH!  Always good to see former UNC assistants do well…… well, not quite always.

IF X beats Y beats Z… it is a really strong possibility that DUKE GOES TO THE FREAKIN’ ORANGE BOWL.   Go back 8-10 years and some fella saddles up to you at a bar and says I’ll give you 500-1 odds that Duke AND Wake Forest BOTH go to The Orange Bowl before either State or Carolina do.   Would you take that bet?  Oh Me, Oh My!

My last column stirred up the assorted hard-core partisans as expected.  I wax orgasmically in 1,000 words about how awesome David Cutcliffe is and how Duke’s Football future is brighter than an equatorial noonday sun….. and get hammered by some dude for adding that Duke (and Stanford) does “make some accommodations” for their athletes. Jeezzzzz.

Our pre-game guest Saturday was Duke media mogul Johnny Moore.  I queried Johnny for “something we can hate about Cutcliffe”.   With Duke now poised to dominate Triangle football for the forseeable future, we got to “hate him”.  It’s a rule.

Of all the area coaches, the one I would pick as “a guy to just hang out with regularly” would definitely be David Cutcliffe.   Steve Logan being my back-up “hang-out with” buddy.   Ol Roy???  No; that sumbitch is nutz.

A coupla crazies living in Amedeo’s dumpster are still convinced that DaveWhoFromWhere is just a 5-star or two from turning The Carter into Jordan-Hare on steroids.  Yep, just a player or two away.   Yessiree.

The Ruff-ians got clobbered in Huntington !!!

Anybody want a slightly used Dabo?   “Bring Back Danny Ford”!

Is Bo Pellini THE most boorish goober in the history of coaching?

My column on Chapelboro.com later today is – “Hell On Wheels: A Nightmare Amid The pines”.   My GameDay Experience was a Freddie Kruger nightmare of epic proportions.
LINK:  Nightmare Amid The Pines. 

After decades of declaring otherwise…… I hear InsideCarolina is now claiming:
“Losing to Duke in Football doesn’t matter.  State is our real Football rival.”   YEEEE HAHAHA.

The End of The Grobe Era at Wake Forest – 4:00 Today !!!  Guess Deacs figure “If Duke, Why Not Us Too ??”

Say Good Night Gracie.

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