Will Stillwater Run Deep ??

September13/ 2013

The biggest off-field story in college football this week has been Sports Illustrated’s “expose” on Oklahoma State.  This is a 5-part series detailing pretty much the full all-you-can-imagine buffet of nefarious crap one associates with a rogue “Desperate To WIN” college football program.  Name the cliche NCAA no-no and it supposedly was going on in Stillwater Oklahoma over a 6-8 year period under Head Coaches Les Miles and Mike Gundy.

A 6-8 year period during which UNC’s Larry Fedora and Gunter Brewer were both on-staff at Oklahoma State.  Uh Oh!

Is this expose True….. partially True…… not True at all?   I don’t know.  Unless this column has a readership I’m not aware of, no one reading this really knows either; but that won’t stop knees from jerking…. and tweets atweetin’ ….. and a fresh round of kamikazi suicide bombers from being launched towards Kenan Stadium.

Sports Illustrated “used to be” THE credible sports media source.  Old Man Usta died about ten years ago.  Now a weekly SI is thinner than a hobo’s shoe soles.  SI is no more or less credible now than Deadspin or TMZ.  Caveat emptor on what you want to believe….. might be – might not be.

Go to SI.com if you have been vacationing on Neptune this past week.

A “the other program” in a football-crazy state tired of being “the other program” decides to “do whatever it takes” to supplant The Program.   That The Program in this case being the tradition-rich Sooners over in Norman.  It’s the same old same old  “frats boys versus farm boys”…. lib arts juggernaut versus ridiculed “aggies” blah, blah, blah.

There is nothing really new about any of this.  Being #1, or desiring to “be #1” has driven many a man, woman, or institution to take foolish risks….. to take high-risk short cuts…. to convince itself that “everybody is doing it”….. to simply decide that self-destruction is a worthwhile risk to always being back in the pack in whatever sled dog team one is harnessed to.

Absolutes are dangerous to assume, but lets.  EVERY serious college football fan is convinced that “every team we play and/or is in our division CHEATS…. except my team”.   

Every one who follows “politics” is convinced “every politician is a CROOK…. except the ones I vote for”.   Once one wraps oneself up nice and warm in that security blanket, sleep comes easy.   Well, not quite “easy” because…..

Then one must launch a crusade to expose all those no-count lyin, cheatin’ programs and politicians that are gaining an edge on “yours” through their nefarious tactics.   But who is one trying to convince, since everyone other than you is among the co-conspirators thwarting you by their cheating?  So maybe one does not launch a crusade.  One simply lets it gnaw in one’s bowels year after year after year after year.  Whatchagonnado ???

Do I think there have been, and are, college football programs that resort to all those rogue program clichés to gain an edge?  Absolutely.   A whole lot of’em.   I’ve been around enough myself and known enough folks who’ve been around a lot more than I have to accept that there is a considerable amount of cheating going on.   As stakes get higher, the risk-reward balance favors the risk-takers.

Steve Logan, who has been at Ground Zero of all this for some time, did a terrific commentary on this recently.   The “rewards” to a coach / program of on-field success far outweigh “if I/we get caught”.   Only one program – SMU – has ever not been able to say that.

Steve Logan, coincidentally, was born and raised in…. Taa Daa …. Oklahoma.

Coincidentally a “legend” from The #1 Program in Oklahoma, Barry Switzer, once admitted, and I’m paraphrasing:

….. “We compete for national championships year after year…. then we get caught and go on probation for a year or so…. then we compete for more national championships.”

All this incredibly erudite stuff above is not what you really clicked here to read.  Whether you are a Tar Heel fan or a life-long ABCer, you want to know if “this” – aka Fedora & Brewer’s association w/ OkSt – will finally “bring down” Carolina Football and maybe Carolina Basketball and, with some of you hard-liners, cause officials to “salt the fields” of the whole freakin’ university.

No.  I don’t see any of that happening.  Sorry ABCers…. but feel free to keep those UNCheats acid reflux juices aflowin’.  When “Hating _____ with the intensity of 1,000 suns” is instilled in one at birth, by the time one reaches mid-life theres no nook or cranny left to store new reasons to hate.

Sure, given my druthers…. I druther this expose was about, oh, I don’t know….. maybe Northern Illinois for instance.  🙂  But SI is like everyone else….. No clue where Northern Illinois is.

The first wave of kamikaze suicide bombers were launched from The Brickyard as soon as some PPride goober made the connection of LF / GB and OSU.  That took about ten minutes.   Tar Heel radar picked up the “incoming” and the Deflect-O shield went up ASAP.

OF COURSE….. the regional newspaper is duly reporting each and every cyber-missile being fired towards Kenan Stadium.   The N&O’s crackerjack reporters simply go to PackPride and pick out the most salacious comments and tack a provocative headline to’em.

The only way it gets better for The N&O would be if Big Bad Bill Barber gets involved and leads his mob of scraggly old hippies and disgruntled guvmint workers down Franklin Street.   If Big Bad Bill finds out Larry Fedora even “might be” a registered Repub who knows what Bill might do.  NOTE:  I’m betting Larry is registered Independent; at least I hope he is.

Larry and Gunter have both issued the standard “not really any substantive comment at this time” comments.   Which, of course, immediately launched the 2nd and 3rd wave of kamikaze suicide bombers from The Brickyard.   ….a totally predictable Kabuki dance.

Whether Larry or Bubba say anything else, or don’t say anything else;  the 4th and 5th waves of kamikaze suicide bombers will be launched from The Brickyard when SI releases the rest of the series.

Thankfully, Carolina has its own faction of cross-eyed obsessed no-lifers to throw up against the incoming ABC insult missiles.   Hopefully the two opposing armies of goggle-eyed knuckleheads will collide somewhere over Morrisville and there will no survivors or any body parts found larger than a pinkie.    UNC and NCSU both totally devoid of board monkeys….. now THERE is a dream both institutions’ mainstream fans can agree on.

Most of the OSU charges have an expired statute of limitations that will negate any NCAA actions.  As far as any $500 handshakes et al “cash payments”…. we know that can only mean “sit out 30 minutes of a Rice game”.   I’m not sure when/if OkStU plays Rice.

The crap about “recruiting functional illiterates” and “sex with hostesses” is grand fodder for every board monkey in Norman OK but not much more.   All the OSU stuff about tutors doing all the players’ work….. do ya think there will be PICTURES of their tutors.   I want to see ONE picture of a tutor who does dumb jocks’ papers.  Just ONE.  Is that asking too much?

I’m waiting for Garth Brooke’s comment.   Garth is a Cowboy alum with many more platinum albums than T. Boone Pickens…. and almost as much money.   And, in case you are wondering, Carrie Underwood did not go to either OSU or OU.  I betcha even Will Rogers would think Carrie Underwood is really purty, don’t you?

Amid all this latest durm und strang it did occur to me……

(1) Back in the 90s, perhaps THE #1 consistently rogue program in America was, arguably, Tennessee.  Their “student-athletes” were assaulting coeds and robbing convenience stores faster than you can say “Rocky Top”.   Philip Fullmer was the poster boy for “No comment…. Go Vols”.   Who was Fullmer’s highly regarded Offensive Coordinator and QB guru during that period?  …… David Cutcliffe.

(2) Who does Mark Gottfried acknowledge as his coaching mentor and “best and closest friend” in coaching?  Jim Harrick!   Again, a poster boy for blatant NCAA violations of such magnitude that the mere mention of his name still sets off alarms in the NCAA goon squad department.

Am I implying that either Mark or David are ______!  Nope, I’m just saying that mere “guilt by association” would mean lots of business for guys who sell hanging ropes and build gallows.  Think about it.


I’ll be (1) a 50 yd line guest At The Wally this Saturday…… AND (Taa Daa) – (2) a VIP guest in the rarified opulence of stately Vaughn Towers next Thursday night when Dabo comes to town.

…… Life, as always, Is Good!

Oh…. that last column on ECU got more reads than a months worth of Greenville Daily Reflectors.  I figured it would.  Aaaarrgghhh!

Another “Oh” ….. Dickie Baddour speaks – “Who’s Greg Little?”  CLICK!
OK, thats not quite what he says but I’m not about to cut that clueless yahoo any slack.

Oh… and I thought the series finale of Burn Notice was PERFECT!

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