My Husband The Fashion Critic

I recently asked BobLee for his opinion of Michelle Obama The Fashion Icon. Oh boy oh boy ….. He’s written 100s of columns about stuff he knew little or nothing about, but this will be a challenge for sure.

His choice for “Greatest Woman’s Wardrobe Ever” is the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders uniform. A close second are Daisy Dukes’. Ergo, He is not a columnist for Women’s Wear Daily.

Writing about Michelle Obama is ridiculously easy. She is as rich a column fodder fountain as Bozo Joe, Algore and any Top Ten uber-Absurdos on the Left.

Writing about Michelle Obama is almost impossible. Try to describe her style and unique persona WITHOUT resorting to comparables among memorable black women in TV and movies. It can’t be done.

How do I not bring to mind Sapphire (Mrs Kingfish) Stephens or Aunt Edna (Sanford & Son) or Willona (Good Times) or Weezie Jefferson or Her Royal Highness – Madame O. It’s as impossible to do as describing how to play a violin without using your hands.

Michelle “My Belle” Obama epitomizes every exaggerated mannerism and quirky character trait of those purposely scripted over-the-top characters.

But, if I do use those so appropriate examples, I will be called nasty names and disliked by people who already dislike me a lot. …… I just reread that last sentence – Duh! …… what the hell!

I recall one instance soon after the Royal Coronation in January ’09. America’s First Black First Lady was attired in a designer original from Burlington Coat Factory’s Phyllis Diller Collection. I was baffled so I asked Boblee ….

“Dear, I’m no authority, but doesn’t that look like something a clown might wear to an audition?”.

To which BobLee replied, “Not if the clown wanted to get the job.”

I expected a convoy of black SUVs with tinted windshield to pull into the cul-de-sac and whisk us off to a Gulag for Right-Wing smart alecks outside Branson MO. Nothing. Apparently, as long as we don’t say anything snarky on a website to be seen by 1,000s and likely will go viral within 24 hours ….. we should be fine.

The Princess Di-iefication of Michelle My Belle was as predictable as LeBron James’ signing fiasco. Why settle for tasteful and elegant when tacky and gauche is just a few loud colors and some over-sized accessories away.

I’m old-fashioned. I like my First Ladies “classy”, low-key, gracious and tailored even ones named Jackie. I prefer they exude “style” and not be “stylin’. Toned arms are fine …. loud mouths are not. I prefer they not take on National Health Care as a hobby … or drive their Rose Law Firm pals to suicide.

I’m OK with them christening new ships …. but not cussing like a sailor. Talk about libraries or literacy or cures for cancer ….. not “”kickin’ whitey’s ass”. ….. I’m an old-fashioned gal.

If families name their daughters after the First Lady – that’s fine. If KFC names a menu item after a First Lady – not so fine.

Yes, fashion IS subjective. We have all seen those “People Seen At Wal-Mart” e-mails. GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY! Those humans breed and vote as BobLee likes to remind us. Fortunately or unfortunately they tend to do more of the former and not so much of the latter so far. Why would anyone go out in public like that? ….. I don’t go down the driveway to check for mail without putting on lip gloss.

BobLee bas a husband for 26 years and a daughter-Daddy for 23 of those years. When either of “his girls” ask his opinion on anything they just bought or are considering wearing, he tries to guess what answer we WANT and give it. Sometimes he guesses right.

Like me, BobLee really tries to bridge the fashion chasm between America’s two primary races. No, I don’t mean The Daytona 500 and The Kentucky Derby. I mean white people and black people.

I don’t understand why Hollywood actresses who depend 99% on their physical appearance are EVER photographed without make-up.

Every fashion design house on Earth would volunteer their warehouse and their experts to dress Michelle Obama every day for every occasion. They would provide expert advice on accentuating the positives and eliminating the negatives as regards Michelle’s physical features.

How cool would it be to have that standing offer. But …. noooooo, Michelle would rather do it herself America.

NEVER utter the phrase “I am not a prejudiced person”. Or “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.” Far better to keep your mouth shut and let folks think what they will than to say either of those statements and prove conclusively that you are lying in both cases. White liberals and while liberal politicians especially, use those phrases a lot which proves my point.

Are there black women that I consider attractive? Absolutely ….. Vanessa Williams, Beyonce, Halle Berry (half-black counts), Gabrielle Union, Dianne Carroll, a waitress at Chili’s last month, Jada Smith, a couple of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, whatshername that played in that movie with that guy ….. I could go on.

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NOTE: Unlike BL and AP, Blondie will not be responding to each Reader Comment; but Reader Comments ARE ENCOURAGED and appreciated.

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