Coach Searches and Other Hoots ….

December05/ 2011

I miss “the old days”.  Dickie Baddour conducting a coach search was akin to me cooking Thanksgiving dinner- a Dee-saster from the get-go.
Regardless how bone-deep sincere Dickie, or I, might be to get it right,  (1) the process would be more fun than a box full of puppies …. and (2) the end result would look like a Salvador Dali painting –  you stare at it and alls you can think is “he actually got paid to do THAT!”.
Today we examine a UNC coach search in the post Dickie Era….. and some other stuff you need to know about.

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UNC Coach Searches in a post-Dickie Era.  I’m a BubbaFan.  I’m not a BubbaBuddy yet but hope to clear that hurdle soon.

With all “the hope that springs eternal” I’m hoping his current coach search results in a nice guy that (1) doesn’t say or do stoopid crap …. (2) can beat our “comparables” more than they beat us.  And, of course, (3) REALLY upsets our board monkeys.  Yes, Ol’ Roy says and does stoopid crap, but he has Two Rings so he can.

I don’t have a specific guy in mind.  I knew Mike Leach was never a realistic option.  Neither is Troy Calhoun (Air Force) or Pat Fitzgerald (Northwestern).  Both Calhoun and Fitzgerald are high character guys who recruit high character guys but both have very deep ties to where they are.

I watched So Mississippi whup the crap outta Houston this weekend.  Both Larry Fedora and Kevin Sumlin have appeared on various WAG List as Bubba Targets.  Neither So Miss not Houston consider themselves elite academic institutions.  I’ve never heard of The Southern Miss or Houston “Way”.  How many of Fedora’s or Sumlin’s recruits are “Marvins and McAdoos”?  How many would require Uncle Julius’ helping hand to matriculate at UNC?

Thanks to Butch&Blake…. UNC will be on “probation” and will be wearing one of those ankle thingys for the next few years.  Ergo, any academic flim flam will be mucho tuffer to pull off.  Can Fedora or Sumlin win with semi-for-real student athletes?

EVERY BTCFb school has a few wink-wink-nod student (cough) athletes on their roster.  4-5 can be managed by assigning them “keepers” to get them to class semi-regularly and prevent most bar fights and girl friend “misunderstandings”.  When 4-5 becomes 20+ as happened with Butch&Blake then we get exactly what we got with Butch&Blake and Jennifer&Julius.  If The Next Coach tries the same finesse strategy the same result will result.

Unless UNC’s Powers That Be all agree to create a separate student classification for “our football team” those BCS Dreams will never be realized.  Having three arrogant fat cats decide to do it on their own didn’t work out so well, did it?   UNC can be quite competitive with NCSU, Wake, UVa, Duke (duh!) and assorted other institutions by recruiting from the same well of semi-legitimate high school players allowing for the occasional “needs to be on a leash with a keeper”.

Alas, that recruiting well does not include very many Top 100 BlueChippers.   UNC’s typical recruit will visit the library more than they do the tattoo parlour.   Can  Larry Fedora or Kevin Sumlin live with that?

Hey BobLee, what about Gus Malzahn – Off Coor @ Auburn?  What about him?  Yes, he is shaping up as maybe the only “name” that Bubba can get to return his calls.  Malzahn may be a fine fellow.  With a once-a-decade superstar like Cam Newton he can coordinate a National Championship.  Could “the next Cam Newton” be finessed thru UNC’s Admissions Office?

Gus Malzahn has never been a BTCFb Head Coach.   Can he assemble AND MANAGE a staff of his peers?  Can he “handle the media”?   Can he close recruits who ask questions that don’t begin “how much $$$ do I get if I sign with you?”  Should Bubba hand Gus Malzahn the keys to Kenan because (1) he coached Cam Newton and (2) maybe he can bring Tommy Thigpen back?  YIKES!

In a post-Butch&Blake World. Can UNC risk its Athletic cash cow on “maybe Gus has the skills to be a Head Coach at an (we like to imagine we are an) elite academic institution”?   Back in the Dickie Era, UNC hoped maybe Carl Torbush, John Bunting and Matt Doherty had those skills too.

Butchie did have the CEO skills.  He simply never cared “how many Choos in Choo Choo”.  Butch was never UNC’s Football Coach.  Butch simply used UNC facilities to run his own program.

New Rimshots…..

New Rimshot format
…… Notice on the Home Page that Rimshots from now on will either be a PS to the Monday column (like this is) or posted on the Front Page like a column on Thursdays.  Always trying to make it easier for you folks to enjoy.

UNC v Missouri
….. What Are The Freakin’ Odds?  The two colleges that I have an alumnal connection to are playing each other in the Long-Named Sponsor Independence Bowl in Shreveport on Dec 26.   Am I going?  No.  Will I be watching?  Absolutely.   Bowl historians will note this was once the Poulan Weedeater Bowl – aka The #1 Tacky Bowl Sponsor Name of All-Time.  Enough said about “is this a major BFD bowl?”  How many Tar Heel (or Mizzou) fans are dreaming of “Christmas In Shreveport”?  ….. Imagine how awkward the next few weeks will be for Interim Ev and his Interim Staff trying to practice while mass mailing resumes all over creation.

The Belk Bowl
….. NCSU v Louisville.  I like The Belk Bowl because Belk only has four letters.  All bowl sponsor names should be limited to no more than eight letters.  That is, of course, after we delete half the existing stoopid “reward for being mediocre” bowls.

….. Within 48 hours – UNC loses to UK AND Coach K is named SI’s Sportsman of The Year (with Pat Summit).  Bart Ehrman is not the only UNCer now questioning “is there a God?”

BOTBob Update
…… I was with “a major regional media executive” this past weekend.  I asked him why his crackerjack reporters had not interviewed BOTBobWinston re: his role in The Butch Mess.  He said they had tried but BOTBob would not grant them an interview.   Whatcha hiding BOTBob?

Tebow Wins Again
…… Tim The Christian QB frustrates The ESPN Gang once again by QBing the Broncos to yet another win.   And T.J. Yates is UNDEFEATED as an NFL QB!  If you watched Giants v Packers didn‘t you just know that Rodgers would pull it out in the end?  Guys named Harbaugh seem to be good coaches.  Is there a third Harbaugh brother that Bubba might contact?

I Love Dabo
….. Dabo Sweeney is Roy Jr.  This wonderful loon eats microphones like they were Reese’s pieces.  I do love goofy guys who do that consistently.  Kudos to Dabo for beating Beamer like a rented mule.  NO ONE saw that coming.

The Texas A&M Asst AD 
…… The Texas A&M Asst AD went on a “message board” and called the aTm prez a “putz” and “an idiot” for firing Mike Sherman.  The idiot AD thought he was posting anonymously.   How many times have knucklehead admins or politicians “stepped in it” using social media?

Speaking of knuckleheads
…… Jimma Sexton is also Houston Nutt’s agent as well as Butchie’s.  He has recommended Nutt for the A&M gig but not Butchie.  Butchie hates Holden so much he is willing to stay unemployed and live off UNC buy-out $$$.   Real classy, Butchie Boy.

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