Bubba Gets Larry!

December07/ 2011

WED 12/07:  “Dec 7th” – A Day That Will Live In Infamy… and The Day – Bubba Cunningham signed Larry Fedora as UNC’s next Football Coach.
BobLee applauds the actual selection and the process that led to the selection.  A well-run professional search conducted by a for-real professional Athletics Director …. WOW!  What a concept!
In sync with the upcoming announcement, all the usual suspects will spew forth in their usual fashion.  We will thumbnail those for you and spew ourselves “all you really need to know” about this.

 Larry Fedora is an excellent choice and all UNC fans should be delighted and optimistic.  Except maybe for the hard-core bitter and demented disciples of St Butch.  They should throw themselves under a Chapel Hill Transit bus.

UNC…. where past coach searches were conducted with the efficiency of Italian Army manuvers and became instant SNL skits.

The Brickyard bottom-feeders will issue versions of the following:   “He’s from Conference USA. Hahahaha”…..  “He from Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Hahaha” …… “Your AD is named Bubba.  Hahaha” …… “UNCheat is still full of cheaters”…… “….only one pair of sneakers”…… “The N&O hates us”….. “5-0”.

Of all that only the 5-0 is significant.  Larry needs to know about that as it IS important.  All the other yadda yadda out of West Raleigh is just predictable rival yadda yadda.  Same sorta crap UNC bottom-feeders said when Mark Gottfried was hired.  Read it if you must but “why”?

The Franklin Street Fruitcakes will be saying:  “Why didn’t we get Urban Meyer, Bill Bilichek or the Boise State guy?”….. “We ARE a sleeping giant”…..  “Butch didn’t do nuthin’ wrong”…… “Mississippi? Isn’t that a river?”….. “Our stadium is very pretty”….. “Duke & Virginia are our only rivals”….. and “Can this one please beat State!” 

Larry needs to understand how UNC bottom-feeders think (?) so he will know when he is confronted by one of them.  UNC’s goobers are pretty similar to Southern Miss bottom-feeding goobers so it will be easy to learn.

The Franklin Street Snoots won’t be happy.   BOTBob, Paul Fulton, Jim Ellison and “Rocky Mount oil-transport mogul – Don Stallings” were not asked to participate in the Larry Fedora Search&Signing.  Yet another BIG PLUS for how Bubba went about this.  I do love me some Bubba!

Several days ago I ran my own thorough Due Diligence on Coach Fedora.  My “deep insider source” in Texas got me everything from his shoe size to his favorite Larry McMurtry novel and anything related to his football bona fides.   Larry Fedora came out of my Due Diligence smelling like a brand-new Porsche on the showroom floor.  I bet Bubba ran a thorough Due Diligence on Larry too.  REAL ADs do that sorta stuff on big hires.  WOW!  What a concept!

It’s a bit early to wonder if Coach Fedora will tweak the uniform stripes or what play he might call on his first 3rd and long next September.  Will he keep any of Interim Ev’s staff.  Will Ken Browning serve under his 8th-9th UNC coach?  Gotta be a record in there for Ken.

What will happen with Interim Ev & Staff ‘tween now and “Christmas In Shreveport”?  Bubba will deal with that.   Will some of Butch’s Boys be transferring?  Not as many as you might think.  That word “Butch” is going to be heard A LOT less from now on.  “like a tree falling in the woods and no one really cares any more ….”.  Bubba don’t care.  I don’t care.  You shouldn’t care.

Will Larry Fedora save the recruiting season?  Probably not.  He will round up a few and whoever he gets will be nice, but don’t expect much this year.

Will Larry Fedore recruit SEC-level thugs like Butch did?  Yes, A FEW; but not in the mass quantities that Butch&Blake did.  UNC won’t be needing Uncle Julius & Jennifer The Unseen Tutor any more.

What should Larry Fedora do FIRST?  First – Change the locks on KFC so no Butch Peeps can sabotage anything.   Then:  Larry should get 4-5 books on the history of UNC Football and read up on the subject.   Art Chansky, Lee Pace, John Kilgo and others have written good compendiums over the years.  Butch never gave a rat’s patoot about what happened before he set foot in Chapel Hill.  That was one of the dozen or so fatal errors that led to his fatal fate.

The Area Rivalries ….. UNC fans are like Texas’ – “tea-sippers” = “wine & cheesers”. ….. NC State is Texas A&M – terminally paranoid.  State alums don’t have the mega-$$$ that Aggies have but they accord themselves second-class citizen rank like Aggies do.  Why do they do that?  No clue, they just do. ….. Duke is Rice. …… Wake Forest is Baylor….. Clemson and VaTech are LSU without all the NatChmps…. Not sure who Virginia is like?  Maybe SMU/TCU combined.

Larry:  There are TWO “Choos” in Choo Choo.  You’ve never heard of him, but UNCers revere him.  Think John David Crow…… There were two Kupecs.  …… LT was a great player but the consummate thug.  …….  Call Danny Talbot and invite him to lunch…….. Spend A LOT of time with Don McCauley……. spend a few hours with John Bunting….. Don’t trust Deems May or Eddy Landreth……. Our barbecue is chopped pork.  We don’t care what “your barbecue” is.  Pretend to like ours……… Be really careful around our Fat Cats and our Brd of Trustees until you learn which ones “have big hats & lots of cattle” and which ones are just “big hats – no cattle”.   I have a list if you’d like it…… Learn THE REAL TRUTH about why Butch was fired from Chancellor Thorp…..  Bubba Cunningham is the only person you should really trust for the time being…… except me of course.

If you win a lot, UNC fans will like you.  If not, they won’t.  Pretty much like anywhere else in BTCFb these days.  Will Larry Fedora be at UNC FOREVER?  No, only Dick Baddour will be at UNC FOREVER.

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