A Classic For All Reasons!

March18/ 2007

It could have been in Tampa, Greensboro, Boise or in Dave Hart’s home theater, but yesterday’s ACC Tournament Finals was both a Lollapalooza and a Humdinger.   It truly had something for everyone whether you were “just a basketball fan”, or a Carolina or State mainstream fan or a creepy crawly member of either school’s bottom-feeder faction.   BobLee corrects a few points and makes a few points as both of Apple Cheeks’ Americas unite to FILL OUT THEIR BRACKETS! (is it OK with the Muslims if we do that?)

Unlike the slimy executives down at The N&O, when we make an error WE CORRECT IT IN FULL PUBLIC VIEW…. Not buried on page 26 in the tire ads.  Thanks to Tom our self-appointed fact-checker.  He e-mails us three/year when we get a fact or date wrong.  The other 362 days/yr. he works for a local health insurance mega-corporation.  Everyone needs a purpose in life.  Tom’s a good guy.

We said we watched “4 games on Friday” while growing up.  Silly us … it was “4 games on Thursday” back then.  Sunday was still a day of rest for college sports and for sailing with Pilots at the wheel.

Also, and Tom missed this one, we implied that Little Johnny sent the Tournament to Tampa as a result of the most recent expansion … not so.  Dave Hart, FSU’s AD, lobbied successfully for many years for a Florida site prior to Little Johnny’s most-recent opening of the member floodgates. There, we feel much better now that we’ve cleared those up.

Now for all the sidebars and little extras from yesterday’s quite exciting 2007 ACC Tournament Finals.

 FIRST …. For any/all UNCers feelin’ kinda narly today because The Unthinkable almost happened ergo it might be seen as a hollow victory.  Trust Ol’ Bob on this … hollow victory ALWAYS trumps a moral victory.  Just ask any Wuff fan today.  And congrats to The Blue Messiah who now only lacks an Olympic Gold Medal and a Hoop-It-Up 3 On 3 Title to have done it all in his Head Coach career.

SECOND …. Absolute unqualified KUDOS, CONGRATS and HUZZAS to El Sid and his staff and team for a GREAT FOUR GAMES.  Hold your heads up high and make those little wuffie hand puppet thingies ….. the future is now for Wolfpack basketball and the alumni office at St Paul’s could not be prouder of their favorite son … and ya gotta think Jimmy V is mighty proud too.  Sidney Lowe is FOR REAL.  That cagey Ol’ Jed Fowler lucked out, huh.  Wonder if at least one State fan has said thanks to Ol’ Jed ??? …. Nahhhh.

OK, so now we’re just going to run thru the sidebars …..

How many of you recall that old groaner about “Jose” going to his first baseball game?  It seems “Jose” somehow got a ticket to Yankee Stadium.  “Jose” knew Reid Parrot who called Clyde King who left a ducat for “Jose” at Will Call.  So “Jose” goes, has a great time and when he gets home tells Mamacita and all the little Joses how nice everyone was and how concerned they were that he had a good seat. …. “Everyone stood up before the game and yelled “Jose, CAN YOU SEE?” ……… (Jose’s seat was right next to The Virgin Family … you know … “Round John”, mother and child!). …. Movin’ right along.

Yesterday at 1:00 PM EDT, everyone in the St Pete Times Forum stood up to ask “Jose” if he could see.  The Raycom camera panned the team benches …. Uh oh … well, uh oh for Carolina because The Wolfpack clearly won the National Anthem.   

El Sid, Monte, assorted assistants, managers, trainers and players were all standing in a straight line looking up at the flag with their right hands over their hearts.  NASCAR pit crews do not do it any better.  It looked terrific and obviously is not by accident or optional for anyone on the NC State bench.  Whether it’s simply a team solidarity/disciple thing or patriotic … it merits a BobLee AttaBoy. …. Then the camera panned the Carolina bench … uh oh.

No one was purposefully disrespectful but there were about 20 different poses, looking arounds, shufflin’, checkin’ out cheerleaders, smilin’, frownin’,   Now I saw no John Carlos black glove protests, nose-pickin, or genital scratchin nor any overt disrespect to the flag, country, et al.  I’m sure a faction of UNC’s infamous atheistic anarchists Islamo-faculty squirrels would prefer a much more overt embarrassment to the University.  Anyway …. NC State clearly won the National Anthem.

On a related note … two weeks ago Anson’s latest national champion flying ponytails were honored in a ubiquitous political pandering ceremony in the NC General Assembly.  The 20 or so outstanding student-athletettes were attired in an assortment of jeans, t-shirts, flip flops, and various “casual campuswear”.  Indeed, the NC General Assembly may be chock-fulla crooks, thieves, liars, buffoons, and a handful of honest God-fearin’ citizens … but my preference woulda been for Anson to dress’em in matching warm-ups or some “beyond jeans and tees” fashion.  Yes, a little thing … but three lawmakers noticed enough to complain to me.  “ME” … like I’m supposed to do something … well, I just did.  Whoever is UNC Asst Associate Athletic Director for Image Management needs to WAKE UP!

Everyone on-site or watching on TV which I assume includes everyone reading this, knew Ol’ Roy was going to try and run the legs off of Sidney’s boys.  Casual fans were mumbling about “fresh legs” and “hitting the wall” with absolutely no idea what they were talking about but it sounded cool.  Those were the same casual fans wondering if Rodney Monroe was Marilyn and Joe DiMaggio’s son.  Hey, it takes all kinds.

Roy sure tried.  He had Ty Lawson in overdrive but those pesky wuffs were like red-clad Energizer Bunnies.  They were on a mission and (almost) not to be denied.

The MVP thingie:  “They” almost got it right … the BRAND_ _  part was correct, but then Prince Machiavelli took over and added another piece of conspiratorial gristle for State Shineolas to chew on for decades.  Surely all the non-UNC J-School voters MEANT to write BrandON but instead wrote BrendAN … TILT … KABOOM … Lupine Meltdown Alert!

There MIGHT be 1-2 UNC J-schoolers among the ACC voting contingent … but never let reality interfere with Lupine Paranoia.  Blame it on the UNC J-School Conspiracy.  That is on page six of your Official NC State Conspiracy Hymnal.

BrandAN Wright had three fine games (he dunks very well!) and was an integral part of Carolina’s net-cutting weekend.  I hear he’s a fine young man and loves his mamma and will be driving a Bentley this time next year …… but “the other BrandON (Costner)” had four INCREDIBLE games and was all over the floor yesterday hitting a variety of shots, snatching rebounds, making steals and simply being THE MOST VALUABLE PLAYER WITHOUT QUESTION.  Giving the MVP to a member of the non-winning team has happened three times in ACC History.  This shoulda been the 4th time.  Rank this with Cal Ripken not being unanimous for Cooperstown.

It was inexcusable and justified only by the fact that screwin’ NC State is like the unofficial favorite sport of pretty much everybody on Earth not part of WolfPackNation.  INCOMING!!! …. alert the neighbors.  First round of F-bombers should show up by 4:30.  But, Hell, it’s true

Ty Lawson’s Rim Rattler at The End …. Wuff Loonies are ahowlin’ Poor Sportsmanship.  Using all their standard racial and sexual slurs which is A LOT of slurs.  No dumpster full of really stoopid humanoids can do slurs like State’s bottom-feeder faction. …. IF Carolina had been ahead by 20 and Ty chosen to punctuate the rout by his rim rattler with a second to play I woulda said … “Yikes, Tywan, that will cause more trouble than it was worth” … BUT it was 100% just fine in this case.

This was anybody’s game until the final 20 seconds.  Every fan, player, coach was gnawing their nails to nubs and adrenalin was pumping like a West Texas gusher.  Ty made the steal and his competitive instincts were at full tilt saying Fly High Young Man Fly High!

NOW … IF the situation had been exactly reversed … State had sealed a W in the final 20 seconds in an arena exploding with emotions I GUARANTEE you a State player in the same situation woulda done the same …. And I GUARANTEE you UNC’s pathetic bottom-feeder faction would react exactly like State’s bottom-feeders reacted because pathetic human hairballs ARE ALL ALIKE.  I’m pretty sure I’ve told you folks that on several occasions over the years … haven’t I?

How did Raycom and their announcers do?  HORRIBLE … if you pay attention to the Shineolas.  Remember … EVERY announcer, writer and pundit is an idiot when evaluated by honest-to-Gawd Idiots.  Takes a bunch to know one, huh.  Raycom and their crew did just fine.  I’m sure, like even ME, they missed a few minute points here and there.  I bet they have “a Tom” who writes and lets’em know about it too.

   Post Game Bracket Griping … this oh-so-predictable fan griping is a seasonal tradition, Unique this year because both State and Carolina no-lifes are crying Foul!

I GUARANTEE you if you let Ben Whatshisname at InsideCarolina and Eddy Whozit at CarolinaBlue pick Carolina’s path to the Finals … the no-lifes would still scream CONSPIRACY because cryin FOUL is how they live their life ….. boss, spouse, IRS, neighbor, mechanic, clerk, teacher, waiter, sportswriter, Vitale, Packer, Glenn, Tudor, Bush, Clinton …. It doesn’t matter.  These Shineolas wallow in their 24/7 victimization.  Please do not associate with them.  Cooties is the least of your worries.

State’s version of this species is BLAMING DEAN SMITH for their draw in the NIT.  Indeed by their incredible illogic, Ye Olde Legend is getting back at State for swiping David Thompson from him by sending them to Drexel on Tuesday.  Shame on you Dean … bad Legend … go to bed without your MayPo tonight. ….. Gotta Luv’em!

   The Tyler gets away with Murder Theory:  Tyler sent UNCers into ecstacy in his post-game I’m probably staying comments …. because I’m having fun and Dad can buy gorgeous Step-Mom lots of toys without needing my NBA bonus bucks anyway …” 

So ACC fans (especially in Rawlee and Derm) will have another year to whine that Little Johnny has ordered John Clougherty to protect Tyler … except in the eyes of Little Johnny’s fellow UNC alums who claim Tyler gets mugged on every possession.  Whether Tyler be a mugger or a muggee depends on which color glasses one wears.  And so it shall always be in these parts.  Tyler accumulated four fouls …. made like a bazillion free throws in a row … and got whacked in the mouth on both of McCauley’s baskets in the last minute.  Do ya know what 42 out of 44 is?  That is Tyler Hansbrough’s free throw record in his career versus NC State.  Where else you gonna get such cool factoids?  Thanks to “Chuck” our favorite Derm cop.

   More on Frank McGuire:  Recall our noting that UNC sainted deity, Frank McGuire, demanded “hard nose competitiveness” from his players WHEREVER he coached ….. at UNC AND later at the other Carolina!  What Tar Heel fans went ga-ga over in the late 50s ….. sent them into apoplexy a decade later when Frank had “hard nosed competitiors” like John Ribock, John Roche, Gary Gregor, Tom Owens, Frank Standard, Skip Harlicka etc etc.  Ya ever noticed how the only difference between “a hard-nosed competitor” and “a thug” is the color jersey he happens to be wearing.  …… hehehehe!

   Most UNCers don’t realize how close history came to a Christian Laettner or a Danny Ferry jersey hanging in the rafters of The Legend’s Lair.  Actually they do hang in rafters …. But a different legend and a different lair. ….. now Dirty Dan Wells is another subject for another day.

It was an outstanding ACC Tournament … even if it was waaay too close to the equator.  So good it sort of helped to defuse the Henderson/K/Tyler mess.  For the record, Gerald has personally apologized to Tyler who accepted his apology …. But, hey, ignore that if its interferes with your primal hate thingie.

 I’m in four different bracket groups … howsabout you?


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