News&Observer BEGGING for subscribers

July02/ 2017

Oh how the once mighty have fallen…. SPLATT!  For all of you who have so often said: “The News&Observer / N&O is not worth a plugged nickle” … YOU ARE WRONG

PLUS:  The N&O’s “Keep Your Mouth Shut… or ELSE” form that all terminated employees MUST sign.


By their own assessment a copy of a News&Observer is now officially worth $.054 or slightly more than “a nickle”. Be it plugged… wooden… or in a tip jar at a Waffle House in Garner.

As of June 2017… a year’s subscription to McClatchy’s Raleigh-based failing regional newspaper is $20.00.

$20.00 divided by 365 days = $.054 / copy.

The News & Observer (@newsobserver)
7/1/17, 3:00 PM
We’re working hard to report local news that matters to you
Consider supporting us with a subscription
Support us:…



For The Record:  I DID NOT click on this ad.  I never click on any link from organizations I don’t trust.  That certainly applies in this case.  Do so at your own peril.

When we stopped our subscription over a dozen years ago, the going rate was $75.00 for a 6-month subscription or $150.00/year.  And $98/year for PayWall on-line access.  When we stopped our subscription we did NOT “go blind”.… “grow hair in our palms”… or develop any other malady. All that happened is we were no longer paying to be insulted by those arrogant, supercilious sons-of-bitches.

Stopping your N&O subscription is the same as UNFRIENDING liberal jackasses on Facebook. Very very simple solution to a daily unnecessary impediment to “having a good day”.

Fifty-plus years of aggressively insulting 50+% of its regional market. Then amping that up into full-scale War the past ten years.

dem chickens done come home to roost…

“Consider supporting us…” pleads  a heartless monopoly that bled area small business owners dry with non-negotiable exorbitant advertising rates for 100 years…  under two owners – the Daniels Family and now Sacramento-based McClatchy Corp.  PUH-leeze.

Whats Next N&O ?

As the once notorious money-printing machine struggles to keep its lights on and meet an ever-dwindling payroll… maybe:

A GoFundMe campaign? OR…

A charity street carnival in adjacent Nash Square where gullible locals could buy a $20 subscription AND get their choice of:

(1) A signed 8×10 of RobRielleWHO Christensen giving Rielle Hunter a pedicure.
(2) A signed 8×10 of RobRielleWHO Christensen giving John Edwards a pedicure.
(3) A YouTube of Barry “Sportin’ Life” Saunders dressed in a Klan robe riding backwards on a mule through Johnston County.
(4) A 2×3’ poster of “Damn Dan” Kane being a human piñata at a Rams Club wine & cheese tasting in the Dean Dome parking lot.
(5) A heretofore secret tape made of Dean Smith, Frank Daniels, Claude Sitton and Mickey McCarthy plotting “here’s how we will take down Jimmy V”.
(6) The video of former Executive Editor Melanie Sill and former News Editor Linda Williams building the display case for the Pulitzer they were surely going to win for their “stellar reporting” of Duke Lacrosse Scandal… a.k.a The Greatest Journalistic Embarrassment of The Millennium
(7) The original Frank Daniels’ Jr quote “If we issued corrections for all of our mistakes, it might affect our credibility.”
(8) Editorial Editor Ned “DWI” Barnett being mug-shot and finger-printed at the Wake County Jail.
(9) The roll of duct tape used by Asst Editorial Editor Jim Jenkins to tape off his “Les Nessman office” in the N&O basement.

AND… if you purchase two or more $20 subscriptions, you get a bonus. The Directors Cut of the long rumored video of:

Reverend William “Bully” Barber “supposedly” ordering the N&O Senior Management to:
#1.. strip down to their scivees…
#2.. crawl around on the floor barking like cocker spaniels…
#3.. feed him “80,000 maybe more” M&Ms on a sterling silver spoon while…
#4.. referring to him as “Pope Bully, Sir”.

Barber 4

If there is such a video, THAT might actually be worth $20.

A rumor circulating that “Bully” Barber might purchase the embattled newspaper is NOT true.  “Bully” may, however, order WRAL’s Jim Goodmon Sr to purchase it then give it to “Bully”.  “Bully” is a big proponent of using OPM i.e. Other Peoples Money, especially money from old white men suffering from severe limo liberal guilt.

If the above plan is as ineffective at slowing down the hemorrhaging of red ink as previous plans have been; even more drastic cost-cutting may be necessary.  Employees being terminated may be forced to pay for their take-home copy of the infamous Keep Your Mouth Shut… Or Else form.

The WHAT?  Really, you haven’t heard about the N&O infamous Keep Your Mouth Shut… Or Else form.  Buy a drink for any of the 100s of former N&O employees waiting tables in the area.  Here’s why you don’t know about it…

YOU DIDN’T KNOW BECAUSE:  Loyal employees unceremoniously terminated at The N&O, in order to get their final check, have to sign a legal agreement not to “go public” with ANYTHING negative about the working conditions and/or financial distress of the company.  Considering how many employees they have terminated over the past five years, they must print those Keep Your Mouth Shut.. Or Else forms by the 100s.

You knew it was getting bad at The N&O when fish would no longer consent to being wrapped in it… and canaries complained if it lined their bird cages.

I confess when I first read their Twitter ad I thought they were saying they would PAY me $20 to read the damn thing.   Then I realized…

 where would The N&O ever come up with $20?


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