I simply don’t give a damn about

BobLee
June15/ 2017

It began with the subtlety of Wally Pipp having a headache on June 2, 1925. A strapping young fellow named Lou Gehrig replaced Wally that day at first base for the Yankees… and the next day… and the next. 2130 games later they were calling Gehrig “The Iron Horse”.

What occurred on June 12, 2017 won’t reverberate quite as much across American Sports History. It won’t need to. They already call BobLee “The Internet Legend”.

Yours truly went an entire pre-season – regular season and playoffs without watching a NBAsingle solitary minute of The National Basketball Association.

It wasn’t a “boycott”…“girlcott” or “transgendercott”. There was no economic purpose nor a political purpose… really, there wasn’t. I never set out “to do it”. The feat was not “climbing Everest because it was there”.

The response to “Why BobLee Way?” is uncharacteristically terse.

 

“I simply didn’t give a rat’s ass.”

 

Luckily I had thought to copyright that phrase for t-shirts, bumper stickers and lapel buttons.

A young crop duster named Bruce did manage to secure the right to sky write “The Phrase” over Kenan Memorial Stadium later this Fall.

NBA Commissioner, Duke Alum, suspected interplanetary alien from some galaxy far far away and notorious “very Adam Silververy strange-looking goober” Adam Silver was (almost) speechless upon hearing of the feat.

“We, the Association, are prepared financially to withstand this symbolic kick to our solar plexus… assuming of course it does not spread beyond this one solitary individual. If it does spread however it could – nay, it definitely would – be devastating. Does Mr. BobLee know I rescheduled our All-Star game to Charlotte?”

Told that their research revealed that BobLee had never attended an NBA game in Charlotte… EVER. Or even been tempted to do so… Silver decided not to pursue that angle.

A sidenote to that research… at some point around 2001-2002 an article had appeared on BobLeeSays wondering if former Hornets coach Dick Harter had (1) ever forgiven his parents for naming him, and (2) if his name had helped or hindered his college dating success… (3) had he ever met former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle?

Adam Silver chuckled at that one.

News of BobLee’s “not a boycott, just 100% apathy” spread like chlamydia in a WNBA locker room.

The immediate fear for ESPN CEO John Skipper (UNC’75) was, of course, would this interfere with his and Jamele Hill’s plan for a week-long on-air marathon about How Much Steph Curry Hates Donald Trump… And Why YOU Should Hate Him Too.

CEO Skipper intends to open the 24/7 marathon  with the Hank Williams Jr MNF theme to PROVE – “I don’t hate all Trump supporters; well actually I do… but my bosses at Disney told me to say that, so I did.”

An emergency “what to do” meeting with Skipper, Ms Hill, Bomani Jones, Chelsea Clinton and a “famous rapper” named Famous Rapper was held in a Bristol CT Starbucks… to be continued.

Life goes on per usual for the focus of all this hubbub.

Returning from a quick flight to St.Louis where he and Cardinals owner Bill DeWitt met “behind closed doors” for “about 40 minutes”. Aides for DeWitt believe DeWitt was asking BobLee’s opinion on switching the slumping team to “long pants” versus knickers. The two men remain “mum” on particulars.

Whats next?… The answer to that question was found in a quiet residential neighborhood in Beaumont Texas with an elderly gentleman CallSign “Coach”. A media siege of “Coach’s” compound did produce a formal written statement delivered without comment by a polite lady identified only as “Judy”.

***

This has gone far enough. I will not have you blow-dried human hairballs bothering my dear friends with this silliness.

I do not give a rat’s ass about The NBA… PERIOD. I do not care who the MVP is. I do not care who The G.O.A.T. is. I certainly do not care what Steph Curry, Steve Kerr, Gregg Popovich or whoever Rihanna is thinks about anything.

For those of you hell bent to find a racial component in this… I have not watched an NHL game in going on six years. Is Boom Boom Geoffrion still playing?…

I did not watch more than ten minutes of any NFL game last Fall until the Playoffs…

I would not watch ANY level of “girls’ basketball” regardless of sexual orientation even under threat of having to be in the same room with Congresswoman Maxine Waters and/or Senator John “Songbird” McCain.

I have not watched five minutes of any PGA Tour event other than the final two rounds of The Masters. I “might” watch the final round of The US Open. I haven’t decided yet. Does either The LPGA or The Champions Tour still exist? Prove it.

I have NEVER been tempted to watch whatever UFC is.

I could not name three members of Royz Boyz until the 2nd round of March Madness.

The last spectator to leave the last NASCAR race, please turn out the lights and lock up.

I have not watched “a late-night talk show” since Johnny Carson and The Matinee Lady “cutoff their Slawsons” with the fork in the road.

I have no plans to meet with Adam Silver until he produces proof that he was not hatched. I am confident he cannot do that.

Now leave these dear people alone… or I will tell Judy she does not have to “be nice”. You really don’t want me to do that.

BobLee

***

UPDATE re: The Fabulous Comparato Twins- Nicole & Paige.

When I last reported “The Fabs” were kickin’ butts & takin’ names at Univ of Miami Law School.

In true Fabs fashion… Paige was Valedictorian of their 250 member Law School class. Nicole was “only #4” but was Editor of the Law Review. They are joining competing prestigious Miami law firms where both will be phenomenally successful litigators.

With at least two more vacancies expected on the SCOTUS in the next seven years of The Trump Dynasty… it is reasonable to expect even greater achievements for – The Incredible Amazingly Marvelous Fabulous Comparato Twins. You Go Girls!

***

Oh.. Oh… Speaking of twins: Have I told “you people” that Kid and “Reverend Danny” are expecting TWINS in December / January. They are. Rev. Danny IS a twin.

###

More BobLee Incredible Insights on Redbird Rants – LINK

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Down East Heel
Down East Heel
3 years ago

Count me as another member of the “Haven’t watched a minute of an NBA game” club. I haven’t watched a minute of a game since….well, I honestly don’t remember. I have no clue what I’ll watch when the College World Series is over. Will probably continue my trek down your favorite authors list in lieu of the tube. Congrats on the twins. Still waiting for that on my end. All in due time. Please tell me the FCT’s will not represent liberal scumbags. From what you have written about them I think that is a safe bet. I was going… Read more »

Ben in MO
Ben in MO
3 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Last I recall, I watched the NBA playoff finals in 1996. I was in Hong Kong at the time and it was the only thing on in English…and it was way too hot to go out during the middle of the day (“and in Hong Kong they sound a gong and shoot off a noonday gun…only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.) I did watch some of the NCAA tournament, usually the ACC games. I have learned over the years that the last five minutes of almost any game provide all the drama and, of course,… Read more »

UNCBlue
UNCBlue
3 years ago

Absolutely right about NBA! 30 for 30 has new episodes on Celtics versus Lakers. Thoroughly enjoyed. Maybe cause it was a “trip down memory lane” but also because that style of basketball was what we all grew up with before stupid 3 point shot. Boring!
Looking forward to your pro sports predictions.

Former96heel
Former96heel
3 years ago

Once you step away, you never miss any of it. It is only entertainment. Personally, I think the constant hype far overpowers those few moments of true drama. . I can’t wait to read what your view of the future holds for sports. The way America digests TV has changed so rapidly in the past decade. I find it hard to believe that there will still be enough money out there for a local TV deal to put a random Tuesday night Hornets game on against an equally uncompetitive team. Same goes for the Hurricanes. Once viewership goes below 20,000,… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
3 years ago

Good Column, BL Congrats on the upcoming event. I decided to retire early to babysit the new little girl and her 3 YO brother. That was something that I cherish. Who knows…you might decide to move…with your new gig and the Mega Bucks that you are getting paid. . I like your “Cott” play on words. I guess, technically, “Trans” takes care of the alternative gender. No need to further refine it with L, B, Q, X, etc. . Each of us has our interests….and our likes and dislikes. Steph’s comments don’t do anything to make me hold him in… Read more »

Doug
Doug
3 years ago

I do enjoy watching the skill of the NBA game but am never concerned about or pay attention the storylines, politics, or off-court hijinks. The NBA game completely outshines the NCAA men’s game from a pure basketball standpoint. Less ticky tack fouls, flops, faux charging calls, awkward replay system, teams winning or losing scoring 51 points, coaches inserting themselves unnecessarily in the contest. The current NCAA MBB game is unwatchable for me. Fans have to be watching something I can’t see or are just pulling for team to beat a hated rival. I’ve been to one NBA game in my… Read more »

The.Fabs.In.Miami
The.Fabs.In.Miami
3 years ago

Thanks so much for the shout out!! So sweet!! And please tell you-know-who thank you and hello for us, that means a lot!

JD
JD
3 years ago

But you do enjoy the Lebron vs Jordan debate right? LOL

Bob Kennel
Bob Kennel
3 years ago

Because this comment will probably not get through, it will be short. Don’t save your best and most cogent comment until last ???? Go TWINS !!!
We’ll find what you do enjoy in life when they get here. Agent Pierce a Grandfather, now that may be a moderating force ????

TarSpartan
TarSpartan
3 years ago

If Nicole is editor of the Law Review, that means she has published a paper, right? You and I both know that isn’t always a pre-requisite to being editor. 😉

In all seriousness, I stopped watching the playoffs when Kawhii Leonard got hurt the second time, but I confess to being a Spurs homer.

TarSpartan
TarSpartan
3 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Understood — I place Pop’s comments in the Ol’Roy category and go about my life. It’s not like we have anything else to be a fan of in San Antonio.

Mayberry Jim
Mayberry Jim
3 years ago

FWIW I don’t care even more than you don’t care.

BT.in.Charlotte
BT.in.Charlotte
3 years ago

are you equally enamored with ice hockey?

Terri.In.Lenoir
Terri.In.Lenoir
3 years ago

One of my special little pleasures is scouring your columns for that special obtuse line or phrase that I am sure no one but me “gets”. I pretend you included it as a secret gift just for me. I loved this one…
.
“… and a famous rapper named Famous Rapper” – I love it. Thanks.

Captain Arctic
Captain Arctic
3 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Bob – let me first say how much I enjoy your columns. You SO get it!! That being said, “Internet Legends” are not made to have “Server Issues.”

Captain Arctic
Captain Arctic
3 years ago
Reply to  BobLee

Ha! I’m right there with you on the strangling the computer. If law is put in place, we can try and see if we can get some kind of grandfather law.

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