Miss Kitty Gets The Vapors

November16/ 2012

Her name was Kitty Carmichael. She was Dean of Women at UNC-CH in the 60-70s. Maybe she didn’t actually exist. Maybe Miss Kitty was simply a convenient personification of “in loco parentis on steroids” – the Ultimate Mother Superior protecting the virtue of every Carolina Girl of that era. Regardless, yesterday Kitty Carmichael, God rest her soul, got a terminal case o’ the vapors.

Yesterday the UNC Board of Trustees voted unanimously for something called “gender-neutral housing”.

FACT ALERT: This does NOT mean “boys and girls can officially room together”. It does mean that males & females can share “suites” with common bathrooms and living areas. I repeat – It does NOT mean “boys and girls can / will “officially” share the same bedroom”.

A limited number (?) of existing residence halls suites will be designated “gender-neutral” allowing for a degree of communal living wherein boys and girls will co-habitat in every way but officially “sleep together”. Assignment to these designated suites will be upon request.

The official explanation for “how come” goes to concerns by the LGBTQs that LGBTQs are “harassed” in more conventional dorm settings. LGBTQ, for those of you in Rio Linda, are Lesbians, Gays, Bi-sexuals, Transsexuals, and Queers.

Don’t ask me to explain those various sexual preferences. I never got beyond the inside front cover of the Kama Sutra before the manager of Waldenbooks reminded me “hey you, we’re a bookstore, not a library.”

LGBTQs are among a handful of minority huntas that think UNC exists totally to cater to their unique predelictions. UNC continually reinforces that line of thinking.

In the old days – 1967-1969 – the aforementioned Kitty Carmichael reluctantly relented and allowed “visitation” in UNC dorms. As I recall it was something like:

…….“from 1 PM to 4 PM on Sundays, Carolina ladies may enter the dorm rooms of Carolina gentlemen but the door to the room must be left open wide enough to insert a matchbook…. and all four feet must remain on the floor.”

This was, of course, front page – above-the-fold of the Daily Tar Heel and prompted concerns at the time that even this was “a gateway concession” to the Sodom & Gomorrians that would surely lead to co-ed dorms and, one day, to “gender-neutral housing”. Score one for those 20th century Nostradamuses.

90+ “other colleges” have some version of “gender-neutral housing” INCLUDING DUKE. The INCLUDING DUKE note in yesterday’s announcement seemed intended to calm the anticipated state-wide knee-jerking that is expected with this announcement. UNC is now no more a den of Caliguan bacchanalia than its hated rival down 15-501.

Good luck to UNC Alumni Guy Dougie Dibbert in using the “but Duke does it too” excuse to calm angry alums. If “Matt & Tami’s Road Trips” have not stopped alumni giving, I’m betting this won’t.

Is “gender-neutral housing” the straw that breaks the camel’s back in UNC-CH hell-bent descent to being among America’s most extreme liberal academic institutions? That camel has been permanently sway-backed for quite some time.

Have, over it’s 250 years, dorm rooms at UNC-CH been the scene of every sort of sexual shenanigans ever conceived by humans with / without the influence of alcohol or hallucinogens? I am confident that achievement was reached well before Thursday announcement. In fact, many of those shenanigans may have occurred prior to / during the Miss Kitty administration.

I will go so far as to betcha that when “Old East” was simply “East” Dorm, there were instances of base carnality taking place within its walls. As to the various gender combinations involved….. I can only speculate that there are only so many genders and so many orifices and only so many combinations of whose what can go where.

Does this announcement reach the level of “a Julius Nyang’oro sighting” or “an actual picture of Jennifer Wiley”? Probably not. Is UNC-CH now any more “crazier than an outhouse mouse” than it was on Tuesday? If so; only slightly. Certainly not any less so.

AgentPierce, could we possibly see Christians-only suites or Right-wing Restrooms or maybe an Art Pope Dorm?

Not unless UNC’s ruling minority faction – The LGBTQs – say it’s OK with them. So those answers are No, No and Absolutely Not.

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