Helicopters, Ol’ Roy & The Viet Cong

February04/ 2011

Q:  What do Roy Williams and the Viet Cong have in common?

A:  Both learned the hard way that the roar of approaching helicopters means Big Trouble!

With the VC it was death dealing Blackhawks and Sikorskys.  For Roy it’s more  Helicopter Parents hoverin’ in the rafters.  Interfering parents are becoming as much a problem in Big Time College BB as AAU coaches.

WARNING:  Column Fodder Tsunami Hits Landfall !

Two Rings’ people skills are marginal under the best of circumstances.  A witchy mamma burning his ear in the middle of dinner is simply more than anyone can expect Ol’ Huckleberry to cope with.  I couldn’t and wouldn’t.  Would you?

Rabid nutjobs calling his radio show is one thing.  Mamma Drew doing Sapphire Stephens In Menopause is a major hemorrhoid-on-the-halfshell.  Lordy lordy!

If you are a UNC basketball fan who owns a Radio Shack franchise in downtown Cairo …. what are you most concerned about today?   It’s a toss-up.

Yo Wuffies,  we need your help.  When Israel drops a nuke down King Tut’s chimney, please let your UNC buddies know. UNCers have totally changed channels from that unpleasantness among the pyramids.  We got a REAL global disaster to deal with.  Life is all about one’s priorities.

Larry flew da coop around 6 AM ….. Daddy Drew dropped the hammer on Roy at 9:30 AM ….. By noon ESPN had scheduled a Special where Larry pulls a ballcap out of a bag and announces:

“I’m transferring to Encino Community College … for their great academics.”

Does Ma’ Drew now replace Tom McMillan’s Mamma as THE Most Infamous Mamma in UNC BB History?  Your vote will depend on your age.

In the past three years two UNC student-athletes have been especially vilified, fried and cussed in every nook & cranny of Old Well Country – TJ Yates and Larry Drew.  Two young men with very difficult experiences who chose different solutions to their circumstances.  Fascinating contrast.

Yes, I have instructed Chancellor Thorp that no member of Roy’s staff is to set foot beyond the Continental Divide EVER AGAIN.  Venture no farther west of Franklin Street than Dodge City.  SoCal and Mayberry won’t never suppose to mingle.   I mean …. Alex Stephenson, The Wares and now Drew.  We can field our own team of “ex’s” in a Venice Beach 3 on 3 Tourney.


  Just wonderin’ ….. Butch and Dickie both sorta kinda kinda sorta “guaranteed” but “not exactly guaranteed” recruits that the NCAA verdict won’t be any big deal.  What happens if it sorta kinda kinda sorta IS “a big deal”?  Will Butch recall telling them that he told them it wouldn’t be?  Maybe BOTBob or BOTBarbara knows?


Are YOU a helicopter parent ?  I bet nobody, including Mamma Drew, thinks they are.  During Kid’s sixteen years of formal schooling.  We contacted ONE of her teachers ONE TIME (beyond the usual scheduled conferences of course).  That one time was to tell a Mizzou Geography Prof how much Kid especially enjoyed his class. That was AFTER she nailed another A.  That professor was speechless that a parent actually called to thank him for doing a great job.

Now Kid did have a run-in or two with a few teaching goobers over the years.  Blondie and I strategized with her how to play those situations to her advantage.   It was up to her to carry out the strategy.  I usually suggested less violent remedies than did Blondie.  That might surprise you.


Great Sports Decisions of The New Millenium ….. Jerry Jones is sitting around his office one day with $$$ burning a hole in his Jaymar Sansabelts …. “I think I’ll build me a billion dollar Sports Stadium and host me a Super Bowl.  My Cowboys will play in it and the sports world will see how terrific Dallas-Ft Worth can be in February.  Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.” …….  Mother Nature giggled …. “Not so fast there Jerry” …. WHACK!

DFW is getting hammered with the worse Chamber of Commerce nightmare since “Lee Harvey” peeked out of that 5th floor window of The Texas Schoolbook Depository back in ‘63!

My contact in The Metroplex – “Princess Fairmont” – is hunkered down in her walk-in closet with a case of wine and a box o’ Godiva’s finest.  Says she ain’t venturing out ’til the snow, the ice and the Yankees are all gone.  Bless her heart!

FWIW …. The hottest AND coldest weather I have EVER personally experienced were BOTH while living in Dallas in the early 80s.  108 and -4.

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