…. Forget Joe DiMaggio, “Where have you gone BobLee?” Not to fear Buddies and Babes, Yours Truly is just fine (as fine can be in these troubling times). My brief hiatus was not the result of a coup by angry board monkeys or political opponents. And I certainly have not been dismissed by Boston College’s Gene DeFilippo …. or his basketball team (ouch!).
As alluded to recently I have gone Mac?. This column and future columns will be produced on an I-Mac.. The conversion was relatively calm. I did not invent new profanity for the occasion, relying upon the assorted salty oaths and colorful phrases which have served me so well over the years.
I used the conversion to rearrange the Inner Sanctum from which these missives originate. It had begun to resemble Atlanta’s fabled “spaghetti junction” of cords and cables. Amazing what one can do with a machete and a resolve to free oneself from such a mess. How these columns contribute to your ongoing health and happiness is all that matters. To that end ….
For ten years, these columns have roamed free, unbridled by time and space not unlike the great buffalo herds of the American plains. As with over-indulgence with any freedom be it spending, eating, tattooing, or forsaking sleep, there comes a time when self-control must be implemented. Henceforth these missives will be limited to a max of 800 words each, usually closer to 700. The average column has crept up towards 1,000 words in recent years. That’s simply too darn long for writer and reader.
How I came to this decision …. One, as every columnist eventually realizes (but damn few admit to), after over 1,200 BobLeeSays commentaries, there is still rampant foolishness in this world. Nitwits prowl our streets, neighborhoods and cyberspace in increasing abundance. The balancing of coyotes to jackrabbits is forever out of synch. The courses of mighty rivers have not been altered by what I write here. OK, a few unfortunate souls gain nicknames they will forever carry with them, but on a global scale my impact is marginal. Cutting back a few hundred words will not change that.
Two, I am adding a new media form to the mix. I have been approached by the owners of USWebTalkRadio.com to be the signature commentator for their station. “Internet Radio” is the latest gizmo to emerge from the primordial cyber swamp. One goes to a site, clicks listen, minimizes the site and goes back to cruising for porn or whatever one was doing while ”the web radio” plays in the background.
The formats of “web radio stations” will vary just as regular stations vary.. country, rock, oldies, and, of course, talk. USWebTalkRadio.com will be “talk”. Intermingled among the street preachers, conspiracy theorists, ideologues, economists, UFO loons, and self-anointed omniscient board monkeys in their mammas basement will be “moi”.
My four minute segments of common sense and silliness will be the buffers twixt the pontificators, doomsday predictors and emissaries from the Planet Zeppo. Four minutes is about 550 words give or take a few hiccups, burps and brain freezes. Ergo, solving the problems besetting mankind in 600 or so words rather than 1,000 words. My radio commentaries will NOT necessarily coincide with the commentaries posted here except when they do. The USWTR.com guys officially launch their venture on Feb 1 but it is operational now with a bunch of my stuff rotating thru the day.
None of the above has anything to do with Ol’ Roy getting “his team” back. Huh? Up until last Sunday all the yadda yadda from CaroLoons was about “Will WE go undefeated?” ….. “Are WE the greatest team EVER?”….. “Could WE beat the Celtics, Lakers and Michael’s Bulls” ?…. “Can anyone get within 20 points of US?” ….. thud …. clunk. Last Sunday night, the “we” gave that bunch of losers back to Roy. No surprise to Roy ….. he has no illusions that his popularity extends any further than his last game.
That same ol’ huckleberry (aka ORW) that lost to Kansas and then wore that freaklin’ sticker done gone and messed up “our team”. How dare him! Forget his overall winning % or his plaque in the BB HoF or all those 20 years of incredible success, et al. He shoulda __________ (fill in your personal suggestion as conceived from your barcalounger while gorging on Doritos and queso dip).
Five minutes after the conclusion of the BC loss Dickie got the first e-mail demanding he get George Karl, Larry Brown, or Rick Majerus. That e-demand actually had a queso stain on it and was dipped in high octane stoopid.
That was nuthin’ compared to the “hang Nick Saban from a sour apple tree” e-mails that the Alabama AD got after Nick lost to the freakin’ Utes. Bear never lost to “freakin Utes”. Hell, Mike Dubose never lost to Utes.
Then, of course, there’s the sad saga of Jago and the Jets. That one probably merits a deeper delve into the dumpster of Sports circa 2009 than my self-imposed word limit offers today. Hint …. I’m on the AD’s side. Stay tuned.
“Once a man holds public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.” …. Will Rogers; 1928