January16/ 2000

Wow …. there are are more “skis” in that headline than in Jean Claude Killey’s attic.  If I can work Blagojevich in some how all we’ll need is Bobby Vinton and twenty pounds of Kielbasa.  Holy Krakow Batman.

I promised you my opinion on the End of The Jago Era in Flutieville.  It reads like Uncle Remus’ tale of Brer Rabbit and the brier patch.  “Please please don’t free me up from recruiting and shmoozing but still keep paying me …. Whatever you do, don’t do THAT.”

Jago learned in two years what 90% of major college FB coaches take a career to admit …… being a Head Football Coach in a BCS conference can be more humiliating than being Rosie O’Donnell’s proctologist.

Sure, you get paid well by real-world standards with lots of free t-shirts and a parking place really near the stadium but you pay a steep price.  Forever kissing the rear ends of semi-literate 17 y/os and 60 y/o fat cats is not as nifty as it sounds.  Jago, being a quick study, figured that out.

But it is what it is ….. if staring into the south-end of a north-bound Rosie is not your cuppa tea then move on whether it be back to the NFL or as piano player in a whorehouse.  Pursue your dream Jago.

If Jago simply tells AD “Fredo” Difillipo “this stoopid business sucks and I want OUT” Gene says OK and the contract is voided including the part about PAYING JAGO $$$$.

So Jago takes the Jets interview without telling Gene, Gene fires him amid pious hubba hubba about handshake integrity blah blah blah.  Under this scenario Jago still gets paid via the “if you fire me” clause.  That is better than the “I quit” clause.  The Jets never had Jago as a serious candidate but his pal Jim Mora in Seattle needs an Off Coordinator ….. “Hello Bekins, this Jago ….”

Who besides me noticed that Steve Logan’s name was listed as Jago’s replacement ….. for about an hour.  That’s how long it took Steve to remind Gene that I don’t recruit and I don’t shmooze.  Any part of that you don’t “get” Geno?”

Gene earns peer points trying to “bring sense to a nonsensical bizness” but the abject lunacy of college sports just hiccupped and kept on spinning wildly out of control.  Kiddie porn is cleaner than college football.

When BC gets a new “whozit” coach ….. TO’B’s recruits will be gone and BCs closest conference opponent will still be five states and 300 miles away.  Only the U of Hawaii (and ECU) are as isolated from its opponents s as Boston College. ….. speaking of Great John Swofford Decisions ……


….. Recall a Dick Crum quote just before Little Johnny declared Crum’s lifetime contract expired.  Dick compared two schools in an analogy of Carolina.  What do those two schools’ basketball programs currently have in common?  …… I LOVE this one.


Closer to home ….. ANYTHING Mike Krzyzewski says is controversial …. because HE says it.  He’s like Winston Churchill, Rush Limbaugh and Terrell Owens in that regard.  Doesn’t matter what he says ….. it just proves “what a low-down dirty bird he is”  ???

When he says something that actually IS plum foolish he sends the local K-Haters into dilerium.

Friday Mike complained his Blue Devils being ranked #2 was not given its proper media attention.  KABOOM!  He not so deftly referred to “a certain other school” getting front page headlines when a player gets a tattoo or a player’s mamma gets a job.  Media nabobs scurried to their back issues to figure what school he was referring to.

It’s only been 25 years so cut Mike some slack regarding his understanding the local media scene. ….. only seven people in the Triangle can even spell his name.  Six of them share the name.  I’m the other one.

Mike, you want media coverage for Duke?  Throw a team party and call Bunny Hole Entertainment to book a coupla skanky ho’s.  That ploy has proven effective.

Wuffwuzzles and CaroLoons argue which school is the local media darling and the media punching bag …. Both agree that it ain’t Duke.   The Triangle Duke Alumni Club meets in a phone booth beside the putting green at Hillandale GC.  Do the math Mike …..

Caulton Tudor and Dave Glenn are the only two area sports guys who don’t do their research by reading monkey boards all day.  Every wacky board monkey knows Coach K is Rosemary’s Other Baby.

To paraphrase The Bard of Avon ….. “the evil that Coach K supposedly does will live after him ….. the good will be interred with his bones.”


 Midway the 4th quarter of Florida v Oklahoma Missus asked “do we care who wins?” to which I replied “sorta kinda not really”.  I have good friends close to both schools.  Ponte Vedra Bill is a good friend of the Tebows and Mayor Matt Roberts is a honcho in The Sooner Club.  Today Bill is a happy fellow ….. and Matt is avoiding photo ops with “that damn Bob Stoops”.  Famous Oklahoman Will Rogers once said “I never met a man I didn’t like” but even Will is kinda pissed off at Coach Stoops right now.

This is THE first time in history that the Top Two College Football teams in the final ranking have both had or have a head coach named “Urban”.  What are those odds?


   Yes, I purposely left out “the Stumper” in that last column just to see is any one would notice.  127 of you DID.  That assures that The Stumper will remain a regular feature here.

NOTE:  UNC Chancellor Doogie complains to me that UNC gets “too much” media attention.  Coach K whines he doesn’t get enuff …… WHATCHAGONNADO ????

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