MON 10/10 (CLICK)

October09/ 2011

America’s Newest Dream Team
…… Break up those Deacons!  Come on Swofford.  Jim Grobe has assembled a juggernaut in comfy little BB&T Field.  It’s hardly fair that a rag-tag sack of puny no-name one-stars get to whup the bejebbers out of Jimbo’s Mighty ‘Noles.  Is it just a coincidence that since I blessed The Moricles with my presence in early September, The Deacs have become the Detroit Lions of College Football.  …. and there is not one single “Marvin-type” wearing the Old Gold & Black.   HOW CAN THAT BE?

Meanwhile Jimma prepares another mailing
….. In his opulent Memphis World HQ, whizbang agent – Jimmy (“Jimma”) Sexton sticks a client resume into an envelope addressed to:  Director of Athletics – Florida State University.   “Yo Mr AD:  You wanna replace a Jimbo with a Butch?  Call me. – Yours Truly, Jimma”.

Mack is a 4-letter word
Wanna bet “Mack” is a 4-letter word in The Hill Country ‘round Austin right now.  Them Sooners took fewer prisoners in The Cotton Bowl than Santa Anna took at that San Antonio mission.   Ya think Mack is now thinkin’ maybe an AD gig back in Sallie’s hometown ain’t such a bad idea after all ???

The Russell Wilson Express
….. did NOT pick up speed this week.  The Badgers were idle.  But Mike Glennon had a field day versus “the Chippewas” from wherever Chippewas come from.  I do like the red helmets.  Lukewarm on the all black unis.

Al Davis
….. “Managing General Partner” …. He was an irascible curmudgeon and over-the-top character.  THAT is what Sports is all about.  Hooray for Al Davis and George Steinbrenner and Mark Cuban-types.

High Five for Interim Ev
….. a handful of Ws for Interim Ev as Tar Heels go 5-1.  Unlike The Phillies, UNC did indeed “beat the Cardinals” to move closer to BOWL ELIGIBILITY.  Ever notice how the Earth moves when anyone says that?  It was a snoozer amid the pines but it was a W snoozer so HUZZAH!
 Q: BL; Were so many empty seats in Kenan a Support St Butch protest?
A: Nope.  That silly faction is irrelevant now that Interim Ev is winning.  The Blue Zone did not “create fans” it simply spread them out.  Louisville was a “yawn opponent”.  HDTVs always win.

At our Mall’s Apple Store
…. there is a steady stream of nerdy mourners actually leaving little apples by the door in a fruity tribute to Steve Jobs.  Ooooookay.

Hokies Pokey Canes
….. In the thrilla of the day, Frank & Bud beat the Blacksburg Lynch Mob by edging the ‘Canes in a Lane Humdinger.  I really don’t know Al Golden but he seems like a nice guy in his white shirt and tie.  Too nice for the South Beach Gang I think.

Phillie & Yankee fans
….. something has to SUX worse than being a Phillie or Yankee fan these days?  Wonder if Cameron Diaz or Minka Kelly were even watching as A-Rod and Jeter headed to Florida for an early off-season.

Bob Davies Defending Sgt Schultz
…. Did you catch Bob Davies defending Sgt Schultz on ESPN?  Davies ran Notre Dame into the ground as HC, but more interestingly; his “mentor” was Jackie Sherrill – as notorious a coaching crook as ever drew breath.  Davies defending Butch = Machine Gun Kelly defending Dillinger.

TCU to Big Texas Conference
…. I love TCU leaving The Not Big East at the altar to marry the home-state conference where it belongs.  But I really really don’t like Mizzou even considering joining The Crips & Blood of The SEC.  You’re selling your soul for a sack o’ seeds Mizzou.  DON’T DO IT!

“The Jayhawk Way” ???
….. Carolina & Kansas share a lot of sports’ history.  Right?  There was a game back in ’57….. a nosy fella named Dean …. and a Dean apprentice named Roy.  Most Chapel Hillians figure Lawrence probably deserved that visit from Quantrill.  Who cares?  Weeeeeellll, maybe Franklin Streeters should check out whats been happenin’ in the shadow of Mount Oread.
After decades of football malaise, KU, in desperation, hired a rotund rogue named Mark Mangino and told him “we just wanna WIN …..”  So rotund rogue said Okey Dokey and he quickly “won”.  Reaching #1 just four years ago.
Then (duh!) the dark cloud of yucky scandal fell over Phog’s Town and Jayhawkers cried “Yuck, ptui …. be gone Rotund Rogue and the swayback horse you rode in on.”  Mark The Hutt waddled out of town saying “You said ‘just win’ and I won ….. you never said how. And I didn’t know nuthin’ about all that bad stuff I did ….”  
The Jayhawk Way was rocked and chalked.  Jayhawkers learned their also very large AD – Lew “The Hutt” Perkins – was an even bigger crooked thug and even their freakin’ ticket manager is turning big rocks into little rocks for his skullduggery.
KU Basketball continues to excel in both (1) Wins and (2) number of players suspended for assorted malfeasances. At least Bill Self isn’t a fat thug.
Their football opponents are now giving KU 60 & 70 point wedgies every Saturday.  Every Saturday these days is A Quantrill Raid.  Fat Cat Jayhawks “desperate to be A BCS Power” – sold their souls in their vain effort.  The Jayhawk Way now looks like The World Trade Center on 9/12.

Raise your hand if you know where KU Chancellor Bernadette Gray-Little worked before she took the Chancy gig in Lawrence.  If you said – Bernadette was Provost on Holden Thorp’s staff at UNC ….. YOU WIN!

…… The incredible stuff you learn in Rimshots!

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