Victim of Instant Information

January16/ 2000

… Urban Meyer has few fans here.  Most of you dislike him because (1) he is not with your team of choice and (2) he wins A LOT.  Regardless, Urban is a classic victim in The Era of Instant Information.  And BobLee reveals his LLM Theory to help TSA be AOK ASAP.

This is “a long one” filled with deep insights and the occasional obtuse homespun zinger …. 

It is easy to lump Urban Meyer with his Gator pal Billy Donovan, Bobby Cremins and assorted others as a Willie Wontee Waffler.  (say that really fast!).   I think there’s more to this one.  I’ve known enough doctors, lawyers, Indian chiefs and candlestick makers who burned their candles at both ends (clever huh?) to appreciate how one can indeed get “stressed-out” in certain no margin for error occupations.

Urban’s life is 13 games/year.  If he loses ONE he is on “the hot seat”.  If he loses TWO his house gets egged and his car keyed.  THAT is “slim margin for error”.   He depends on 80+ semi-literate loose cannons for his livlihood.  Tuff bidness!

A high-risk medical procedure ….. awaiting a coin-toss jury decision ….. crossing t’s and dotting i’s in a mega-sale that could solidify your small company can all push the stress-ometer into the red zone.   “A football coach” gets little solace from average-joes especially joes in the well under $4,000,000 salary bracket.  A mid-level middle-aged manager with a growing family and a mortgage hoping to avoid a black Friday staff downsizing gets my sympathy vote over Urban’s woes.  Average joe doesn’t spike ratings on ESPN.  “Stay tuned for the latest on Urban” keeps itchy fingers off the remote.   With 7-8 “networks” needing filler 24/7 ESPN will peel the scab off any sports story …. then do it again an hour later.

If Urban toe tags while re-watching game film at 2 AM, it’s breaking news on Sportscenter for one day.  Then GatorNation turns its attention to “who will that idiot Foley hire now?”.  Meanwhile Mrs Meyer and the kids are left alone to wonder what to do with Dad’s favorite chair.  This funky leave of absence status buys Urban one 3 & out next September.   The slightest drop in domination will have Gator lunatics demanding his disembowelment.  The availability of Charlie Weis is a frightening coincidence.

America will watch a psycho perched on a 20th floor ledge for weeks, but once he jumps and splats the satellite trucks quickly move on.  “Dying” is fascinating to us …. But death itself is a bummer.  To me, the fascination in this latest Willie Wontee dilemma is the way the Era of Instant Information controlled it.

As Urban considered his options, EVERY conscious thought went directly into cyber space.  It’s 2009 ….. every conscious thought by any celebrity status is immediately posted on TMZ and hits the Internet like a Malibu brush fire fueled by a Santa Anna wind.  If Urban and Jeremy had sequestered in a vault deep in “The Swamp” to discuss their options; they would have emerged to find every news outlet from Reuters to Al Jezerah ramming a microphone in their face.

The only way to appease the Instant Info Monster is to feed it raw meat.  Alas, we goofy humans have not evolved as fast as our technology has.  Our computers and our IPhones “think” faster than we do.  Urban wasn’t sure what to do; but the Internet was riding his bumper demanding he sh*t or go blind.  What Urban-haters are deriding and ridiculing as indecisiveness was simply a normal human thought process.  Made even more stressful by ESPN following every synaptic firing.

Whether in the irrelevant arena of sport or the more meaningful arena of global politics, our insistence on Instant Information has far outkicked our coverage of analytical thought.  The above may have given some of you a headache.  Regardless, it is incredibly astute.


On Texas Tech’s Mike Leach vs Craig James’ Family.  A classic example of letting superficial issues dominate.  I went to “an insider” who knows all concerned.  Siding w/ the wacky coach on this one.  His lawyer is obnoxious but most lawyers are.  Craig James was a spoiled rich kid …. and so is his son.  Leach likely used questionable judgement ….. and egotistical father is exploiting that.  Again ….. BobLee votes for Mike Leach on this one.


   Leach was fired Wednesday at 1 PM.   This one will get nasty.  Watch for public sentiment to shift to Leach as details are forthcoming.  Timing was waaaay too coincidental for TTech admins.



Legendary Atlanta sportswriter Furman Bisher writes that Tiger’s self-imposed hibernation is a direct result of Elin beating the crap out of his face with a 9-iron when she found a text message from Rachel on his phone.  Severe facial bruises and broken teeth sent the naughty Nike icon to an Arizona cosmetic surgeon.  Bisher also has Tiger in an exclusive Arizona rehab facility for celeb sex addicts AND pain-killer addiction.

Furman Bisher is one of a handful of journalists with credibility.  He is “(very) old school”.

Carolina was runner-up in the recent We Lost To State Too Bowl.  The “story of the game” was NOT the critical offsides or Greg Little showing his butt AGAIN …. It was the vast acres of “Panther blue” emptiness in the BoA upper deck.   YIKES!
Carolina fans not turning out for a Saturday afternoon bowl game in Charlotte, gives a major momentum boost to my HDTV Theory.  HighDef TV is the death threat to spectator sports that on-line news has been to the newspaper industry.  Sports promoters who ignore it will shrivel up and DIE!


Speaking of global politics ….. whatta yathink about this Nigerian nutjob with the bomb in his boxers?  Lagos, Nigeria ranks #3 worldwide for its high concentration of Anti-America hatred.  Surpassed only by Carrboro and Southside Chicago.   Anyone from those locales should be in a High Alert data base.

I just fnished a James Patterson novel where Alex Cross goes to Nigeria.  One of THE WORST lawless hellholes on Earth.  Machete-weilding war loads using our foreign aid to buy more machetes.  Kumbaya ya’ll!

I have spoken recently with hard-core road warriors as well as other assorted level-heads.  TSA can come up with a whizbang manual of security precautions more undecipherable than a Democrat Health Care Bill.  The only category of traveler it WILL affect is “you and me”.
The two categories it will NOT restrict are (1) suicide bombers ….. (2) IDSBs.  IDSBs are “incredibly dumb sum bitches”.  NOTHING stops IDSBs from soiling every aspect of human life on the planet.  The IDSB will outlive the crocodile and the Galapagos tortoise by centuries.   IDSBs are Obama’s hope for a President For Life amendment.
My “favorite” IDSB story (we all have a favorite) occurred nine years ago.  Kid and I were in line at a local McDonald’s.  I remember the conversation vividly as the IDSB at the head of the line asked the fast food professional …. “What is a Big Mac?”   Kid and I simultaneously bolted for the door.  IDSBs qualify for valid licenses to operate a several ton vehicle at speeds up to 70 mph at night in a driving rainstorm.  Not to mention the “breeding thing”.  ……  NEVER get in a fast food drive-thru behind a Prius with an Obama bumper sticker.  NEVER.


Lord Obama & His Politburo can NOT guarantee your safety from those determined to infringe upon it at their whim. Neither could George Bush, Sarah Palin or any of the Kardashians.   It simply does not work that way.  Flight attendants leading the singing of a PCed rendition of Kumbaya to a 747 loaded with anxious travelers with empty laps and overflowing bladders ain’t gonna help.
 Suicide bombers and Conservatives share one common thought.  We both see the total foolishness of political correctness run amuck.
Consider the cost of TSA operations since 9/11.  Consider the unfathomable cost in traveler hassle.   All that the misunderstood Islamo nutjobs need to do is send up a fresh nutjob every year or so to roll out the next radical lifestyle restriction across the fruited plain.   “They win” every time that happens.  The shoe bomber caused a fashion change to slip-on shoes and a marked increase in flip flop sales. The shoelace industry has never recovered.  Will this boxer assassin result in an increase in “commando-style
“Sir/ma’am, please remove your underwear.” …..  “I’m not wearing any.” ……  “Oh, then proceed to the next station.”  Overhearing a 300 lb she-beast in a sweat-stained tee and cut-offs tell a TSA agent “I ain’t wearing no underwear dearie” should cause a rethinking about going wherever you were going.
Me ?  I profile …. And the PC-police can’t stop me.   Facing a choice of multiple waiting lines I ALWAYS choose the line with more LLMs ….. “look like me’s” Yes, there ARE LLMs who are IDSBs but I play the %s.  The “have a freakin’ clue” factor is way higher among LLMs than any demographic I have studied.   I have studied a LOT of demographics.


LLMs can’t dunk worth a darn and should avoid casual footwear that reveals much of their feet, but for “having a freakin’ clue” and not screwing up a one-car funeral …… bet on the LLM every time.  The pictures on this website and these 1,300+ commentaries give you a pretty solid definition of a LLM.  If you can’t figure it out ….. then I’m avoiding your line.


96% of LLMs escaped public education long before it derailed into its current total trainwreck.  That fortunate timing contributes to their high “have a freakin’ clue” factor.  Alas, we are expiring at a high rate.  Good luck to the rest of you!



Speaking of modes of travel ….. My VIP ticket on the Rapture Express is all taken care of.  A number of you expressed delight and surprise that I’m a card-carrying member of The God Squad.  BobLee – a Jesus Freak?  Yes Sir!   Being a Tar Heel, a heterosexual, and a Christian Conservative is really NOT as unusual as Franklin Street folklore would have you believe.   There are 268 of us at last count.  By comparison – there were 182 Texans at The Alamo and 300 Spartans at Thermopalyae.  We’re right in-between.   :>)

For my fellow Rush Limbaugh “brain-dead robots” in the Triangle and Triad regions of North Carolina:  You need to re-set your radio dials effective January 1.  EIB is switching stations in those markets.   Effective January 1 …..

Triangle …… 106.1 FM ….. WRDU
Triad ……….   94.5 FM ….. WGBT


Both these stations are totally revamping their formats to “Conservative Talk”.  Both stations are owned by Clear Channel Communications which owns Premier which syndicates Rush’s show.   This move from long time contract affiliates such as Curtis Media (which previously carried Rush in these markets) is 100% a business decision.   CCC gets to keep 100% of the industry leading ad-revenue that RL generates.   The switch was a CCC call. Not a Curtis Media decision.

Pointy-teethed Rush-haters will hope this switch indicates a slip in Rush’s ratings which is as bald-faced bogus as global warming and “no death panels”.    Rush “saved AM radio” 20 years ago and now will “save FM radio” which is dying from mp3s and Ipods.

Same EIB at the same noon – 3 time slot ….. just at a different spot on your dial starting January 1.  Yours truly will still appear regularly on Rush’s former Triangle home – WPTF – 680 AM with my pals Bill Lumaye and Rick&Donna.

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