No One EVER Said Michael or Dwight …

Michael or Dwight
BobLee
July12/ 2020

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July 12, 2020

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No One EVER said Michael or Dwight …

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Ten or so years ago, I had the absurd notion to convert my incredibly insightful commentaries into incredibly insightful speeches.  Over a period of 15+ months I spoke to close to 100 civic clubs across North Carolina… and one epic disaster in Rapid City South Dakota.

I envisioned myself a modern day Don Quixote roaming the countryside slaying pompous dragons (i.e. windmills) with my rapier wit and charm.  A reincarnation of the late Lewis Grizzard or Mark Twain or Will Rogers.  Why not Me?

I wasn’t awful.  I did hit a few “homers” … and a lot of routine fly balls.  I earned all those pens and letter openers and paperweights and birdhouses (Rocky Mount Kiwanis).  But I wasn’t good enough.  I realized it.

If you’re playing for the Class A DownEast Wood Ducks and hitting .240 sure, you ARE playing “pro ball” … but you ain’t gonna make it to The Big Show.  As my old friend Harper Cooper might say.  Wishin’ ain’t gonna make it so, Shoeless Joe.

You hear about wannabee novelists who get 100+ rejection letters.  One day an intern at Simon & Schuster happens upon their manuscript and VOILA! … move over Harper Lee and Margaret Mitchell.  For every one of those there are 10,000 neverbees who go on to be accountants and produce managers at Whole Foods and Uber drivers … and Internet Legends.

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NOTE:  Did You Know That:  Among all those misfit toys with BLM and ANTIFA … tearing down statues and screaming the joys of Marxism and yelling “F-You” to America … less than 1% of’em have ever heard of Lewis Grizzard, Mark Twain, Will Rogers, Harper Lee or Margaret Mitchell

Not sure how that correlates, but it’s interesting.  Don’t you think?

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Those 15 or so months “on the speaking circuit” were not in vain.  We still have those Kiwanis birdhouses … and I have a bunch of boffo self-effacing column fodder.  Like today’s …

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I saw a Facebook post this week that did NOT further convince me to get “off the grid” as quickly as possible.  Such posts are getting harder to find.

This guy on Facebook posted he was binging old episodes of The Office.  That cringe-worthy peek into the inane humdrummery of corporate America that ran from 2005 to 2013.

Compared to Seinfeld in its portrayal of the mind-numbing reality of so much of American Life.  The Office was the Scranton PA regional office of the fictional Dunder-Mifflin paper company.

The characters were as “true to life” dingy as Jerry & Friends … but I compare The Office more to Mary Tyler Moore’s WJM … or WKRP in Cincinnati … or Boston Legal.  Everyone who watched any of those “knew” some or all of the character-types in the show.

Every TV station has “a Ted Baxter” … every radio station has “a Herb Tarlick and a Les Nessman” … et al.  Does every law firm have “a Denny Crane”?

NOTE:  If you’ve never seen The Office … you won’t “get” any of the next few paragraphs.  Skip down to the bottom where I expound about my prediction re: College Football 2020.

A rhetorical question I would pose to my civic club audiences was…

“Which character(s) on The Office do YOU identify with …

i.e. could be you?”  

I would NOT ask for a show of hands.  I would pause and gaze around the room.  Then add…

“Studies show that 96% of you are quite certain you are “Jim”… or “Pam” for you ladies.”

Michael or Dwight“Jim” and “Pam” were – of course – the two “normal” characters in the ensemble.  Jim and Pam recognized the insanity of the lunatic asylum where they worked.  Jim and Pam endured the insanity for the same reasons most of us have done so at stages of our careers.

The Catch-22 is  so long as you realize it IS an insane environment you have not “become insane” yourself.

I then asked…

“If you all are Jims & Pams … Where are all the “Michaels and Dwights”?”

Michael and Dwight

“Michael” and “Dwight” were the most over-the-top dingbat characters at Dunder-Mifflin.

Everyone in every audience where I posed these questions admitted they KNEW “Michaels & Dwights”.   Everyone had worked for or with several “Michael & Dwights” over the years.

But THEY certainly were not “like them” at all.

I would conclude with …

“Somewhere there is a roomful of Michaels and Dwights

 all of whom truly believe they too are Jims and Pams.”

I would gaze around the room again.  The closet Michaels and Dwights would glare back at me … They Knew I Knew they were Michaels and Dwights.

♦♦♦

BobLee re: College Football 2020

I do not possess any inside info on whether there will be College Football (or NFL Football) this Fall or not.  Neither Johnny Swofford nor Bubba Cunningham nor Paul Finebaum have contacted me to ask my opinion of whether or not – or how – IT might happen.

I simply Do NOT think College Football will HAPPEN … in any recognizable or convoluted i.e. “empty stadium” fashion.

“America” is sailing in totally uncharted and very very stormy seas.  Even among the viewership of this website there are strong differing opinions on Why and – of course – Who to blame for “This Mess”.

We do seem to have finally reached a consensus that we are in one Helluva Mess.   I am of the further conviction that regardless of the outcome of the November 3rd Election … America’s Hellacious Mess ain’t going away for the foreseeable future… “years” if not decades… or EVER!  In the rush to tear down and rename stuff … eliminating the word “United” in United States of America seems logical.

IT will certainly get much more Hellacious over the next 100 days … and intensify after November 3rd regardless.

I offer one innovative suggestion….

Donald Trump should issue an Executive Order that –

Football 2020 MUST NOT HAPPEN !!

As soon as he does so… all of the combined factions of HateTrump America – i.e. Universities, The Media, BLM, ANTIFA,  George Soros, Mitt Romney, Judge Bob Orr, Gregg Popovich, “The View”, “The Squad” etc etc … and every State / City under the iron-fist of Democratic control will immediately proceed to MAKE IT HAPPEN … COVID-mania Be Damned.  

That reverse psychology plan is certain to work…  considering America’s current Mob Mentality.   Should I use my special back channel to President Trump to suggest it?

No Football Across America will be the socio-cultural equivalent of The Yellowstone Caldera finally blowing its top.

I wonder what “Michael or Dwight” would do?

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More of BobLeeSays … Click HERE!

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Check out the Latest over on SaidWhat? … 

That Moment

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Doug
Doug
20 days ago

Haven’t peeked at a sports message board since last football season. Did so briefly tonight and much to my surprise one can receive pandemic medical advice from the very same people who hire and fire coaches and coordinators and want IPF’s built.

Wait Til Next Year
Wait Til Next Year
21 days ago

BL, you and Rush Limbaugh share a similar style of wit and satire to some degree; and of course you knew each other back in the day. How much influence do you think you had on each other in this area?
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BTW, I think this whole bruhaha over college football will simply hasten their transition to a truly semi-pro league and not even pretend anymore to be academic.

ENC1
ENC1
22 days ago

Sadly I have to agree with you about CFB 2020 and the real possibility that college sports finally has become too big for their britches/pants/uniforms. It is not our college athletics of 25 years ago. Blame it on big and small colleges that “Think” they are/were making the college experience better for regular students. DI schools that are constantly in an “arms race“ in all sports not just football and basketball. DII and DIII schools use athletics to build their enrollment by building their rosters. Both divisions over recruit IMO by bringing in athletics who cannot really compete for playing… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
22 days ago

https://www.tmz.com/2020/07/12/washington-redskins-dropping-nickname-nfl-team/

OK….VINDICATED. I have been asked to personally cut the ribbon on the new “Look” of the FedEx stadium in MD…. Talk about an appropriate name. Every Politician in DC is a Code Talker in that no one understands them. It is like the Tower of Babel on Steroids.

However, second place should go to a twist on our President’s comments about how HAPPY Fauxahontas should be. I’d give up my 5 minutes of fame if the DC team, formerly known as the REDSKINS, were renamed the Warren Wackos…..

Oh well…. It was only a Click Bait Headline…..

DM Carpenter
DM Carpenter
22 days ago

It is common knowledge in Boone, Wisconsin arranged for the Covid, simply to avoid playing App this year, right?

Rob
Rob
22 days ago

Don’t overlook the original Office, the UK version. Ricky Gervais is a damn genius. Like all the good UK shows there was only a very limited number of episodes. Ricky kicked every stereotype personality squarely in the balls, offended everyone, but then wrapped it all up in the final “Christmas Special” episode in a surprisingly heart felt and inspirational fashion. I literally got choked up watching the ending.

Rob
Rob
22 days ago
Reply to  BobLee

That is a must see for you and your Missus since you both enjoy English humor. It helped launch the career of Martin Freeman who went on to be an outstanding Watson to Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock, and unfortunately he was also the Hobbit. At least the latter made him very rich.

former96heel
former96heel
22 days ago

I’m good with no football this Fall. His external force of change is needed for colleges, but the Athletic Department is far from the one most in need of a shake-up. If these schools see their cash cow go under, their source of pride fold, then maybe they will address their failing to properly train young adults for life. I also have a disdain for Title IX in this whole mess. To me it is socialism in action, from each according to their ability, to each according to their needs. . I also will enjoy watching millions of folks wonder… Read more »

Rob
Rob
22 days ago
Reply to  former96heel

Colin Cowherd had a great comment about the “house of cards” that is NCAA athletics. Even if they play a limited football schedule in front of an empty stadium, the revenue losses will be staggering. The “affluenza” and entitlements of all these Title IX sports programs are going to be in for a very painful decline if not demise. Frankly its overdue in my humble opinion. I’m tried of seeing the badminton and basket weaving teams strut around campuses with their beats by dre headphones, and the I’m too important to speak to anyone (aka the Lebron James) 1000 yard… Read more »

former96heel
former96heel
22 days ago
Reply to  BobLee

Are any of this generations super-rich even college sports fans? Hard to imagine an Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos funding an entire program like Phil Knight or T Boone Pickens. Some school could be bankrolled by one of their kind, and not need another dime from anyone, but I have no idea who or where that person is. World only has so many boat moguls or hog farm kingpins.

Donnie.B
Donnie.B
23 days ago

After ample consultation with Dr. Anthony Fouche, NC Gov. Roy Cooper and public health info babe Mandy Cohen, please put me down as a definite “YES”.
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POTUS Donald J. Trump should issue an Executive Order that, “Football 2020 MUST NOT HAPPEN.”

Joe
Joe
23 days ago

Thank you. I needed that

Doug
Doug
23 days ago

There are a large number of schools across the nation and a few within a three to four hour drive from the Triangle where just getting semi-close to breaking even on the entire athletic budget depends 100% on cashing in on a guaranteed game with a major Power-5 team. Take that single game away and everything directly or indirectly associated with that program goes KABOOM. If the 2020 football season is cancelled, or more likely, is cancelled, those fancy $60 million towers of Babylon already built will look even more silly. Maybe IPF’s can be used for intramural sports. MBB… Read more »

Doug
Doug
23 days ago
Reply to  BobLee

Pox is correct. The coming market correction in NCAA athletics will be blamed on Admins for buying into the whims of fat cat boosters and board monkeys. Many of the ills of the system that you have pointed out so well for years will get fixed in the most unintended way possible, not from within but from external forces unrelated to reform. Of course no one will learn any lessons but blame it all on COVID-19.

Babs.Derm
Babs.Derm
23 days ago

I do miss Denny Crane. That show was good until it did the dive that most do – going political on us.

NCSU68Grad
NCSU68Grad
22 days ago
Reply to  Babs.Derm

You and me both. When he pulled out the AR7 Survival Rifle and said, “Tom DeLay told me I needed one of these in the office….”, that was one of the greatest “over their heads” lines of the century.

The anti-climatic scene that followed where Denny pops the perp was just “anti-climatic”….as words fail me….

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