July 12, 2020
Avoiding a THAT MOMENT with Your Family.
This is NOT an Advice Column. I am not qualified to give out advice on car mechanics … grilling … the golf swing … wine … cigars … marriage … or intra-family relations.
I do have opinions but marriages and families are like snowflakes … no two are alike. One size solutions do not fit all.
The suggestion I offer here has One Purpose.
It is NOT to ReElect Donald Trump … NOT to save America from self-destruction … NOT to save your grandchildren from the misery of a Marxist regime … and … NOT to prove you are more hardheaded than your spouse or son or daughter
This Suggestion is to save your family from the trauma of a THAT MOMENT.
SAVE THE FAMILY – SAVE AMERICA
Many of you are dealing with significant intra-family turmoil over the current Hellacious Mess that is America 2020. “Intra-family” be it spouse v. spouse or parent(s) v. son or daughter.
I choose “sons and daughters” as opposed to “children”. If your “sons and daughters” are into their 20s / 30s or even 40s – the dreaded Millennials – and you still consider them as “children” … THAT could be a contributing factor to the turmoil.
Threats to “cut off their allowance” … order a “time out” … or “ground them” unless they surrender to Your POV should not be a weapon you employ with an individual no longer living under your roof.
The age difference between you and your son / daughter has never changed from the day he/she was born … Don’t use that as a sledge hammer. It is trite and leads to nothing good.
The word “politics” or “political differences” will not be used in this commentary. The serious differences that have so split America now are waaaaay more complicated than “politics”.
If any of the parties try to simplify this as “the usual political crap” go ahead and scream at each other…
Scream until one of the combatants screams something so Vile and so Hurtful that neither will ever forget That Moment.
If That Moment has ever happened in your family, you have never truly forgotten it … have you?
I vividly recall our daughter’s first summer back from college! How stereotypical is that! Where we were … What was said … The eerie OMG silence that immediately descended on all of us. Then the ensuing apologies and hugs.
Apologies and hugs may patch up the wound and you all move on … but all parties involved remember it. Trust me on this one.
Do Not Create – THAT MOMENT
As Baby Boomers, we grew up in a Ward & June Cleaver / Jim & Betty Anderson / Ozzie & Harriet / Lucy & Ricky Ricardo Fantasy World. … Or maybe an Andy / Opie or “The Cartwrights” model.
Not all marriages and not all families fit that Fantasy back then … most did not. Certainly not this millennium.
If you have always tried to fit your “square peg” marriage / family situation into a 50-60s sit-com “round hole” … you may be carrying around a lot of guilt. Only you can answer that.
IF these Troubling Times are causing issues in your family … these issues are on top of all that has gone on previously within your marriage / family. How you have resolved previous conflicts over 20-30-40 years.
There are No Easy Answers – No jingoistic t-shirt phrases to what is happening in America.
By “these days” I’m including the past 8-10-12 Years or more … Not this latest Trump / BLM / Biden / Racism / ANTIFA / FauxNews / LGBTQ / I Hate / You Hate … Blah Blah Yadda Yadda.
Dr. Billy Graham’s son-in-law used to ask ME (?) Why the World seemed to be speeding headlong to Hell in a Hand basket. Like I have the answer to That One!
Once Adam & Ever ate that apple … this phase of Life in This Universe was not going to end well according to Revelation by John. I figured he knew that.
I am not suggesting you employ Theology in a heated discussion with your spouse / son / daughter. But it is a simplified likelihood.
I am suggesting … you totally avoid juggling the hand grenade of Whose Fault Is This Hellacious Mess. If that hand grenade goes off … no one in the room will escape without permanent scars.
No one “wins” when a That Moment explodes. … Avoiding it is not as difficult as you might think.
I’m not talking about sticking your fingers in your ears and mumbling some silly “I’m not hearing you” mantra. That is Stoopid. You want to avoid STOOPID.
98% of whoever reads this are “parents”. You can’t dictate how your son / daughter might deal with “serious differences of opinion”. But it does take Two To Argue.
If he/she is really passionate about “all this”, they likely have been prepped (i.e. “indoctrinated”) by college professors … peers … or trained anarchists on…
How to argue with your hard-headed ignorant parents … and NOT get written out of the Will.
There is a lot of that “prepping” going on. It is cult-like indoctrination in many cases.
A primary objection of the anarchists is to breakdown the nuclear family unit.They have succeeded very well within the black community.
They want turmoil within your family. They want THAT MOMENT.
SAVE THE FAMILY – SAVE AMERICA
There are trite phrases they expect you to blurt out in your frustration.
Phrases such as – “I’ve lived longer than you so I know better…” … or … that old favorite – “Someday you will realize I was right” are going to trigger a Pavlovian response.
Avoiding a That Moment is your One and Only Objective. Acknowledge that you two have a difference of opinion – you respect his/her right to their opinion … but you refuse to allow those differences to get in the way of your Love for him / her. PERIOD. PERIOD. PERIOD. No “but…”.
If he/she goes ballistic because they can’t goad you into a fight. Stay Calm …Walk Away. Don’t laugh or make a sarcastic snide remark. Avoid STOOPID!
Your vote is going to cancel theirs … but don’t go there. It is highly incendiary.
There may be situations so severe that “an intervention” could be considered. That is when you stop taking advice from “some guy named BobLee on the Internet” … and find a priest who performs Exorcisms. I don’t know any. Check Angie’s List.
Has any of this helped you at all? I hope so.
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