Avoiding a THAT MOMENT with Your Family …

That Moment Family
BobLee
July12/ 2020

SW BL BLO

July 12, 2020

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Avoiding a THAT MOMENT with Your Family.

♦♦♦BL alone

This is NOT an Advice Column.  I am not qualified to give out advice on car mechanics … grilling … the golf swing … wine … cigars … marriage … or intra-family relations.

I do have opinions but marriages and families are like snowflakes … no two are alike.  One size solutions do not fit all.

The suggestion I offer here has One Purpose.

It is NOT to ReElect Donald Trump … NOT to save America from self-destruction … NOT to save your grandchildren from the misery of a Marxist regime … and … NOT to prove you are more hardheaded than your spouse or son or daughter

Family

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This Suggestion is to save your family from the trauma of a THAT MOMENT.

 

SAVE THE FAMILY  –  SAVE AMERICA

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Many of you are dealing with significant intra-family turmoil over the current Hellacious Mess that is America 2020.  “Intra-family” be it spouse v. spouse or parent(s) v. son or daughter.

I choose “sons and daughters” as opposed to “children”.   If your “sons and daughters” are into their 20s / 30s or even 40s – the dreaded Millennials – and you still consider them as “children” … THAT could be a contributing factor to the turmoil.

Threats to “cut off their allowance” … order a “time out” … or “ground them” unless they surrender to Your POV should not be a weapon you employ with an individual no longer living under your roof.

The age difference between you and your son / daughter has never changed from the day he/she was born … Don’t use that as a sledge hammer.  It is trite and leads to nothing good.

The word “politics” or “political differences” will not be used in this commentary.  The serious differences that have so split America now are waaaaay more complicated than “politics”.

If any of the parties try to simplify this as “the usual political crap” go ahead and scream at each other…

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Scream until one of the combatants screams something so Vile and so Hurtful that neither will ever forget That Moment.

If That Moment has ever happened in your family, you have never truly forgotten it … have you?

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I vividly recall our daughter’s first summer back from college!  How stereotypical is that!  Where we were … What was said … The eerie OMG silence that immediately descended on all of us.  Then the ensuing apologies and hugs.

Apologies and hugs may patch up the wound and you all move on … but all parties involved remember it.  Trust me on this one.

Do Not Create – THAT MOMENT 

As Baby Boomers, we grew up in a Ward & June Cleaver / Jim & Betty Anderson / Ozzie & Harriet / Lucy & Ricky Ricardo Fantasy World.  … Or maybe an Andy / Opie or “The Cartwrights” model.

Family Feud

Not all marriages and not all families fit that Fantasy back then … most did not.  Certainly not this millennium.

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If you have always tried to fit your “square peg” marriage / family situation into a 50-60s sit-com “round hole” … you may be carrying around a lot of guilt.  Only you can answer that.

IF these Troubling Times are causing issues in your family … these issues are on top of all that has gone on previously within your marriage / family.  How you have resolved previous conflicts over 20-30-40 years.

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There are No Easy Answers – No jingoistic t-shirt phrases to what is happening in America. 

By “these days” I’m including the past 8-10-12 Years or more … Not this latest Trump / BLM / Biden / Racism / ANTIFA / FauxNews / LGBTQ / I Hate / You Hate … Blah Blah Yadda Yadda.

Dr. Billy Graham’s son-in-law used to ask ME (?) Why the World seemed to be speeding headlong to Hell in a Hand basket.  Like I have the answer to That One!

Once Adam & Ever ate that apple … this phase of Life in This Universe was not going to end well according to Revelation by John.  I figured he knew that.

I am not suggesting you employ Theology in a heated discussion with your spouse / son / daughter.  But it is a simplified likelihood.

I am suggesting … you totally avoid juggling the hand grenade of Whose Fault Is This Hellacious Mess.  If that hand grenade goes off … no one in the room will escape without permanent scars.

No one “wins” when a That Moment explodes. … Avoiding it is not as difficult as you might think.

I’m not talking about sticking your fingers in your ears and mumbling some silly “I’m not hearing you” mantra.  That is Stoopid.  You want to avoid STOOPID.

98% of whoever reads this are “parents”.  You can’t dictate how your son / daughter might deal with “serious differences of opinion”.  But it does take Two To Argue.

Family Feud

If he/she is really passionate about “all this”, they likely have been prepped (i.e. “indoctrinated”) by college professors … peers … or trained anarchists on…

How to argue with your hard-headed ignorant parents … and NOT get written out of the Will.

There is a lot of that “prepping” going on.  It is cult-like indoctrination in many cases.

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A primary objection of the anarchists is to breakdown the nuclear family unit.They have succeeded very well within the black community.

They want turmoil within your family.  They want THAT MOMENT.

SAVE THE FAMILY – SAVE AMERICA

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There are trite phrases they expect you to blurt out in your frustration.

Phrases such as – “I’ve lived longer than you so I know better…” … or … that old favorite – “Someday you will realize I was right” are going to trigger a Pavlovian response.

Avoiding a That Moment is your One and Only Objective.   Acknowledge that you two have a difference of opinion – you respect his/her right to their opinion … but you refuse to allow those differences to get in the way of your Love for him / her.  PERIOD. PERIOD.  PERIOD.  No “but…”.

If he/she goes ballistic because they can’t goad you into a fight.  Stay Calm …Walk Away.  Don’t laugh or make a sarcastic snide remark.  Avoid STOOPID!

Your vote is going to cancel theirs … but don’t go there.  It is highly incendiary.

There may be situations so severe that “an intervention” could be considered.  That is when you stop taking advice from “some guy named BobLee on the Internet” … and find a priest who performs Exorcisms.  I don’t know any. Check Angie’s List.

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Has any of this helped you at all?  I hope so.

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More SaidWhat ?  – Click Here!

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Queen City
Queen City
22 days ago

Great post!. I have two daughters 23 & 19. Huge Bernie fans which is in style these days kind of like skinny jeans. “Everything For Free” is appealing to folks living with their parents or just out of college. We also used to talk about sports but unfortunately that has become more divisive than elections. Pretty much sticking to conversations around food,travel,pets, music etc just like back in the days when they were much younger. In a way I do feel sorry for them growing up in this era. This is all they know when it comes to politics.

Radio_Smuggles
Radio_Smuggles
22 days ago

Jimmy Carter was the greatest US President ever. Now that I have your attention I’ll explain it simply. He cured my late parents from being Democrats for the rest of their lives. As an aside, my kids are more conservative than I am and I can’t explain it. I expected them to be reactionary and break with family political leanings like I did when I voted for Nixon in 1968. Both parents thought they had failed me until Jimmy nearly ran us into the ground. Thankfully Ronald Reagan swooped in and showed them and a whole new generation of former… Read more »

delow24
delow24
22 days ago

I have definitely had to start holding my tongue when visiting my parents. I am 50, my parents are around 75 and have some serious Trump derangement syndrome. I am a supporter and very conservative and I can see the damage that democrats want to do. My parents are stuck in the MSM view of things and seem to believe the narratives. I have had to put up with: . 1. My father freaking out when I pointed out in 2017 or so how the path all democrats are wanting to take is Socialism/Communism. He was pretty nasty to me… Read more »

iratepyrate
iratepyrate
22 days ago

I can really relate to this column, as I’m sure many of your readers are doing likewise. My wife is a registered D and I am an R. Whenever we have discussions of a political nature, we find some common ground and move on, though she still leans toward the liberal side because of her daily Facebook fix and influence from the rantings of her liberal girlfriends. I figure it the same way you presented it: my “smart” vote cancels out her “dumb” vote. If she ever votes the same way I do, that’s two wins in my column. She’s… Read more »

Rob
Rob
21 days ago
Reply to  iratepyrate

Charlie Kirk and Candace Owens do a lot of speaking visits at Universities, at least they did back in the good old days when people still attended Unis. Candace made a point of saying that their biggest success in converting people from liberal idealists to rational conservatives was how poised and respectful they would remain during the heated Q&A sessions after their speeches. . To paraphrase “A lot of the students who were on the fence about which way to think and act, always complimented us about how we handled ourselves when the students (usually with green hair, tattoos and… Read more »

DM Carpenter
DM Carpenter
23 days ago

BobLee, the “Prodigal Parable” would be on point here.

DM Carpenter
DM Carpenter
22 days ago
Reply to  BobLee

I was referring to welcoming them back, when they ‘come home’.

OldWuf Vet
OldWuf Vet
23 days ago

My potential conflict is with my Dad. He still carries guilt from race relations in the 50’s and 60’s. (I was the one that was force bused to crappy schools so his generation could feel good about things; but I don’t understand racial problems) He accepts CNN, NPR, MSNBC as the gospel truth. I stay away from any discussion of anything close to politics. The closest we came was a couple of years over breakfast. I was explaining how a recent minor medical test cost me $4000 out of pocket. He stated that i must’ve gone to a hospital out… Read more »

Rob
Rob
22 days ago
Reply to  OldWuf Vet

Same issue here, I love my parents and can never give them enough credit, but they are hardcore CNN/NRP enthusiasts. I first started to notice the divide about 15 years ago, my dad was watching the Daily show or one of those other shows full of glib, snarky political humor. At the time I was very much in the middle of the aisle. But I’ll never forget him laughing out loud at all these comments that seemed absurd to me. It was as if he was indoctrinated and I was not. He loves to make comments about how my Republican… Read more »

delow24
delow24
22 days ago
Reply to  OldWuf Vet

It sounds like your parents are very much along the line of mine. I have to take the same tact as well and luckily my kids are the same with the BS.

Ruth Miller
Ruth Miller
23 days ago

BL, you did a great job of maneuvering through the “mess” our country is in and trying to maintain some peace, love and dignity at home. Like you, I have no answers to the situation. I am only sorry that those who come behind us will not know the real history of the world, not just our nation. Your advice to NOT CREATE THAT MOMENT in your family is head on correct. The “book of hard knocks” is a great teacher but sometimes to late to prevent a problem from which there is no return.

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