BL: August 20, 2018 – “The Night They Tore Old… Silent Sam Down!”
Did Goofy Ol’ Roy Williams actually say… “Is Anarchy a new brand of golf ball?” ?
Wasn’t that a great game in Dodger Stadium last night? Cardinals whup the Dodgers with two HRs in the 9th… WHAT… Huh?
Something ELSE happened on the planet last night? Really? … in Chapel Hill’s notorious McCorkle Place, just off Beautiful Franklin Street in The Southern Part of Anarchist’s Heaven.
OK… before I get into “the meat & potatoes” of The Night They Tore Old…. or should it be “the wine & cheese” of The Night They….
Did you know… The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down by a band named The Band in 1969 is among Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Rock Songs Ever? No, you did not know that. Now you do.
Every time something incredibly stoopid happens “over in Chapel Hill” (which is weekly) somewhere in The Milky Way Galaxy someone says or writes…
“Ya know what Jesse Helms said… “North Carolina doesn’t need a zoo… just put a fence around Chapel Hill…”. Yuck, yuck, snort, snort…
Jesse Helms was NOT the original sayer of that oft-repeated line.
The original sayer was a friend and contemporary of Senator Helms’ named Chubb Sewell. But attributing it to Jesse Helms assured its survival over 50 years. Kinda like Charles Shackleford did not originate “…. I’m amphibious”. George Washington never (1) threw a dollar across the Potomac or (2) chopped down a cherry tree… did he Warren Bingham? I digress…
So Silent Sam’s (SSam) reign as THE #1 burr under the UNCCH PC-saddle is over… it will soon be replaced by another and another and…; but “they” won’t have Silent Sam to throw paint on any more.
105 years is a very respectable reign for “a burr under an institutional saddle” to reign. Don’t you agree?
Last month I went officially “on the record” that I thought “SSam” should be moved to Bentonville Battlefield to spend eternity among his fallen brethren. – LINK –.
IMO… Forcing SSam to remain in “that wretched place” over yonder in Orange County was cruel and unusual punishment for a statue. That McCorkle Place is now SSam-less is not on my short or long list of concerns. Actually very little about UNCCH concerns me other than as column fodder.
If SSam can be Humpty Dumptyied back together again, maybe he CAN be permanently enshrined in Bentonville. Until even more aggressive angry anarchists decide even that is not acceptable to them.
So SSam is gone from UNCCH. The goggle-eyed, obscenity-spewing very angry anarchists are declaring VICTORY by spewing even angrier obscenities and huddling to determine their next target(s). There is ALWAYS a next target for angry anarchists.
Meanwhile in her South Building HQ, UNCCH “Chancellor Chihuahua” Folt consults her “lapel ribbons for all occasions”manual for the proper color to wear for “when I formally surrendered this University to angry obscenity-spewing anarchists”.
Yellow is a traditional color for Cowards… so Carol might start there.
Governor Ray/Roy Cooper muttered something about SSam; but it did NOT mention the millions of $$$$ his family received under-the-table for approving the controversial pipeline. So who cares…
Raise your hand if you think last night’s events were spontaneous? If so… you also probably think one can become pregnant from a toilet seat… or that Abortion is NOT “legalized murder for convenience”.
There was NOTHING spontaneous about last night.
- “The complicit – We Hate SSam too – media” was alerted hours earlier and had their headlines and stories already written… waiting to add the pictures of the toppled statue.
- Local CHPD and UNCCH security were alerted and instructed not to interfere.
- The mob of angry anarchists had their ropes, banners and assorted “Riots ‘R Us” supplies on-site.
- Which way SSam would fall was well-planned and orchestrated.
If you were a feckless invertebrate dilettante on the UNC Brd of Trustees whose most compelling concern was “will this effect my basketball tickets?” wouldn’t you be in favor of…
“Let’s let the mob of angry obscenity-spewing anarchists tear down that dumb statue. We can appear to be shocked and feign concern but we really don’t care… so long as, of course, it doesn’t affect our basketball tickets…”.
There will be 2-3 days of hubbub… and when the blah blah is over… SSAm will be gone. YIPPEEE!
So far, tearing down SSam does NOT appear to “affect the BOT’s basketball tickets” so their real level of concern is… “Meh. Let’s try that new chicken place for lunch. The one that replaced Spanky’s…. Call for the limo…”
Here’s a LINK to the current UNC BOT in case you wish to verify my comments.
OK… a moment of remembrance for our all-time favorite UNC BOT-ette – Barbara Rosser-Hyde. “Babs” (UNC’82) is the trophy wife of Auto Zone founder “Pitt” Hyde and a shining star in Memphis (TN) High Society.
“Twas lovely and totally clueless Babs R-Hyde who, in the aftermath of Marvin’s tweet… as “The Butcher of Kenan” struggled to recall “Who is John Blake?” asked the embattled UNC Football Coach…
“Coach Davis, is this affecting recruiting?”
That quote ranks All-Time with the N&O’s description of Durham’s notorious Crystal Mangum as “honor student and single mother of two”… as The N&O hastily assembled its kangaroo court for the media lynching of “the rich white boys”in The Duke Lacrosse Scandal.
Crystal – a struggling “exotic dancer” in Derm’s highly competitive “exotic dancer” community, would later have several more illegitimate children before murdering a boyfriend du jour “in a bathtub with a butcher knife”. Which is sooo more colorful than CLUE’s iconic “the butler in the drawing room with a candlestick.
It’s been about 15-18 hours since SSam toppled. As yet we have not heard from noted UNC socio-cultural observers – Ol’ Roy Williams and Larry Fedora. The mind reels as we ponder their respective observations…
Maybe Larry Fedora will observe:
“There is no conclusive evidence, that I have seen, that proves a statue’s head hitting the ground solves America’s Racial Controversy…”. Do we want an America without controversial statues….? Who among us can disagree with that, Larry?
And Lord Knows… Ol Roy might blurt:
“Is Anarchy a new brand of golf ball?” … or…
“I have enough trouble looking after twelve youngsters… sixteen if you count “walk-ons”… I can’t be expected to look after this “Silent Sam” guy. He must be one of Mike’s kids over at Duke. Ask him.”
Oh… Oh… you DO know, don’t you, that EVERY High School, University, Barber College, Technology institute on Earth has it’s own local myth / legend about “when/if a virgin walks by”. At Univ of Missouri… The Columns will fall “if a virgin ever walks by…”.
You really thought there was anything unique about SSam firing his rifle? PUHLEEZE tell me you are more “worldly” that that.
THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…
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