October 30, 2024
If you need some DRAMA in your life, I got aplenty to spare. I need to vent … as you will quickly understand.
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2+ years ago I met this fellow baby boomer at a private fishing lake we both belong to. In our first or second chance encounter at the lake, he felt compelled to tell me his personal Trifecta …
He HATES Trump – HATED Rush and he is a hard core atheist – “I’ve studied the Bible and its a bunch of crap…”. Uh Oh!
I told my “fishing friend” I liked Lonesome Dove and chicken pot pies. And that I fish to escape the reality of “AmericaAtWar 2024”. If we just talk “fishing … sports … and the weather” maybe we could “get along”.
Blondie reminded me this week she had laughed when I told her “my get-along plan” and she said “Yeah … right … I give it a month. Maybe”.
Somehow it lasted 2+ years … including the two times he randomly blurted out – “Trump supporters are all dumb, ignorant redneck conspiracy theorists.” Those got a tad tense so I just filed that away figuring it might be good “column fodder” some day. … like Today!
Really, 98% of the time it was “fishing”, sports and “the weather”. We had absolutely NOTHING in common but those topics …. He is a cancer survivor so we did swap a few stories on that.
THEN …. I get a text message from “him” last Monday. It was NOT a picture of a fish he had just caught …. Oh NO!
In 96 words – yes, I counted them – he managed to aggressively insult me … my wife, my daughter AND our four grandchildren. He omitted my son-in-law who I had told him is an Anglican priest. Being a hard core atheist, I guess he never figured out what that is. NOTE: he has never met any of my family; knowing of them only thru our fishing chats.
He called me every insulting name in the book except Deplorable Nazi Garbage because Ol’ Demented Joe had not added that one in the book when he insult bombed yours truly.
I’ve been doing this on-line stuff for 26 years and dealt with my share of snarling, profanity-spewing nut jobs which comes with the territory – but NEVER involving my family …. 2,647 columns on BobLeeSays.com …. 100,000 subscribers to our 3Xweek newsletters … and as my 5,000 wonderfully like-minded Facebook peeps know … a helluva lot of Facebook posts. Any one of which woulda caused this sick puppy’s head to EXPLODE.
I never gave him how-to-access those sites for obvious reasons. …. but somehow he read something he claims I wrote …. making fun of the Hurricane tragedy around Asheville …. but he wasn’t specific. I don’t recall ANYTHING I wrote about Asheville … why would I?
He assured me I was going to rot in Hell if there actually is a Hell which he doubts.
Lordy, this sick goober’s comments were so toxic I had to put on an oven mitt to hold my iPhone. Blondie’s first comment was … “That insane SOB is either drunk or off his meds. I told you it wouldn’t last…”
Because he had included our daughter and grandchildren in his raging insults – ??? – Blondie was ready to track him down and skin him alive with a rusty boxcutter. I enjoyed that visual for 30 seconds before assuring her this piss ant was not worth us dealing with a “justifiable homicide” charge.
Our lake is large enough that our paths never need to cross ever again; and definitely NOT in any “after life”. But Blondie insists I carry a rusty boxcutter in my tackle box from now on …… just in case.
In case you wonder why I’m not on-board with the “National Group Hug – Let’s All Be Friends” Pollyanna crowd …. Now ya know!
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Blondie and I were looking back at our 40 year adventure. By golly its been one helluva wild ride … and it ain’t over by a long shot.
Have I ever told you Blondie created the term “Drive-by Media” for you-know-who? … and the stories I tell and the characters I encounter are 94.8% True … If I’m lyin’ I’m dyin’ and I ain’t dying.
I have accumulated a double handful of good friends and now one very bitter enemy. Every life worth living needs at least one bitter enemy. PLUS, I got all you BobLee Buddies depending on which “hated rival” I’m bashing on a given day.
Somehow we raised an incredible “Super Mom” daughter … a son-in-law straight from central casting … four awesome grand muppets … and I just Beat Cancer! ….. yes sirree …. Life Is Good!
Thanks for your time ….
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