April 09, 2026
OK … a week ago I had never heard of “This Guy”. Of course, the only current or recent NBA head coaches I “might” could name are Steve Kerr, Gregg Popovich and JJ Redick. Those first two because they are hard-core, quite insane, obscenity screeching TrumpMAGA Haters … and JJ is, of course, “JJ”.
The ONLY Charlotte Hornets Head Coach I can name would be “Dick Harter” and that was 25+ years ago. Who forgets a name like Dick Harter? I’d be hard pressed to name a dozen current NBA players much less coaches. Hellfire, I can’t name three WNBA teams much less coaches or players (not named Catlin or Sophie).
Any opinions I might have – and will be sharing below – about Michael Malone (that IS his name, right?) have developed over the past three days.
Coach Malone’s opinions about Donald Trump and MAGA guys like me … whether he (Malone) is mentioned in the Epstein files … Did he ever have a liason with a “sports journalist(?)” at a remote Arizona hide-away ala Mike Vrabel – YIKES! … Does he (Malone) “Hate Jews” … Does he think we “faked the moon landing … and 9/11 … and Kennedy’s Assassination … and COVID” … and, and, and … and what is his opinion on con-trails and Candace Owens and barbeque – vinegar or tomato sauce? … Where O’ Where is Silent Sam? …… I don’t know ANY of that YET … but surely some pathetic no-life Franklin Street board monkey and/or some equally pathetic no-life Hated Rivals are deep diving the Dark Web to find out. Sordid details should begin trickling out any minute now …
FWIW: I also applaud NC State’s selection of alum Justin Gainey as the solution to their most unusual WTH with Will WhatsHisName.
Lets go with a bullet-points format, OK?
- Why was Hubert fired? I’m going with … Immediately after the loss to VCU, an ad hoc mini-committee of 5-6 UNC Mega-Donors met with UNC admins and UNC current and future ADs (including my pal Bubba Cunningham) …. they did NOT DEMAND that Hubert be replaced; per se; but, rather if he was NOT replaced they would likely redirect their future 6/7 figure checks to entities other than UNC’s annual Rent-A-Roster. Without an overflowing NIL “War Chest” UNC MBB would quickly become an intra-mural collection of “biscuit boys”. Resolving the dilemma of DeanDome2.0 by playing before a half-full Carmichael Auditorium.
- Were there “other factors” re: “Hubert”? Pure speculation but … Does Hubert play golf and did he regularly schmooze the afore-mentioned Mega-Donors during rounds at Quail Hollow CC and PInehurst #2 and Old Chatham, etc as Ol’ Roy and Dean before Roy were comfortable doing? Other than the relaxed convivial nature of 5-hours golfing followed by laid back “guy talk” in the Mens Grill … did Hubert use other opportunities to develop close relationships with the cabal of “old white guys” whose on-going financial benevolence was essential to his acquisition of “4-5 star hoop talent”? Was the fact that everyone involved was “married to white women” enough to overcome the unpredictability of Ws and Ls playing at an elite level of P4 Basketball? … Did the Mega Donors feel they were Hubert’s BFFs like they had felt with Roy and Dean? …. again, just speculating. I have no “inside info”.
- Was there a “short list” of “post-Hubert … Who”? Every P4 AD, not named Dickie, keeps “a short list” of “next FB /MBB coaches” in his upper left hand desk drawer. It is Rule #1 they teach at AD School. The loss to VCU may have been “the straw” that broke the camel’s back” but there were other signs over the past three years that maybe Hubert Davis was NOT going to be UNC’s fourth HoF basketball coach, so I am pretty sure there was a “short list” … that at one time had Wes Miller’s name on it until he could not get it going in Cincinnati. Was Larry Brown on “the list”? Oh, for Heaven Sakes, I hope not. Surely, his 5th or 6th NCAA wrist slap did him in. …. “the list” likely was constantly updated as various “Flavors du Jour” came in and out. Jay Wright might change his mind … or even Tony Bennett … could Jerry Stackhouse get his act together at Vanderbilt? He didn’t. When did Dusty May and/or Tommy Lloyd join “the list” … and Billy Donovan? I suspect the name Michael Malone did not appear until about two weeks ago. If it had, surely the rabid pack of pundits, podcasters, influencers and goggle-eyed board monkeys woulda been mentioning him. “They” all said “MICHAEL WHO” on Tuesday confirming the secrecy of the wooing and signing of Mike Malone.
Why I LIKE the selection of Michael Malone …
- #1 – Because it totally befuddles the Franklin Street Board Monkey Gang everyone of whom believes HE should be UNC’s Athletic Czar “because ______”. Befuddling board monkeys is second only to “watching liberals’ heads explode” for sheer pleasure. Considering the diverse intellectual and ideological composition of Tar Heel Nation, hiring Michael Malone kinda combines those two personal pleasures. ……
- #2 – in his first presser he came across – at least to me – as a very bright fellow who did not say anything “stoopid” but comported himself as a man / coach at ease, used to dealing with a media that will turn on him in a NY minute. Ten years as an NBA Head Coach with over 500 Ws and a championship in his resume does not just happen without developing a skill set in dealing with open mics … and social media which Dean never had to worry about … and Roy simply had no clue what “it” was … and a demanding fan base that will always question every in-game personnel decision he ever makes.
- #3 – at 54, he is 20 years younger than Ol’ Roy and gives off the appearance and energy of a guy no older than mid-40s … concerns about “relating to 18-20 y/os” is just the usual clueless fan crap. His 24 years in the NBA was mostly dealing with young men in their mid-late 20s. By comparison – John Calipari is 67 …. Rick Pitino – 73 … Dan Hurley – 53 … Mark Few – 63 … Tommy Lloyd – 51 … Dusty May – 49 … Jay Wright – 64 … and Billy Donovan – 60. Betcha those ages surprise you, huh? Oh, and for what its worth … Bill&Chick is 73 and Mack Brown is 74. ….. BTW: any comparison of hiring Michael Malone to the John Preyer dumpster fire / trainwreck of Bill&Chick is just the usual Hated Rival yadda yadda … not worth a concern. Michael Malone’s wife is 52 years old …. just in case you were wondering.
- #4 – With close to 30 years “in Basketball”, Michael Malone knows what “a ball screen” is and “dribble drive” and how to make his point with a referee without “getting T’d up”. He has been a Head Coach in over 900 games – 510 -391 – doubtful there is any in-game situation he has not dealt with more than “a lot of times”. The NBA has more prima dona multi-millionaires than “The Hamptons” and Augusta National put together. Communicating successfully with multiple personalities ain’t gonna be a problem.
- #5 – He is already putting together a staff to augment his own impressive skill set … signing John Calipari’s #1 recruiter – Chuck Martin – as his Asst Head Coach. Unlike Matt Doherty’s “clean house” approach, Michael Malone will keep the members of Hubert’s staff that he believes will be an asset to his “team”..
- #6 – Malone is already shoring up relationships with the “Jerseys In The Rafters” guys, and Ol’ Roy, who are familiar his NBA reputation. A sit-down with MJ#23 will surely take place sooner than later if not already. 24 years in The NBA … Superstars and GOATs will not intimidate him.
- #7 – The increased $$$ cost of this new staff would not be possible unless the afore-mentioned Mega Donors have agreed to be “all in”. Not having to cover a “buy-out” saved $10M. To those pearl-clutching alums who think “The University” is going to suffer from the albeit absurd costs of trying to be a Big Time College Sports school in the NIL/Portal Era are WRONG. Athletic Dept expenses are covered by revenues from ticket sales, broadcast rights and booster bucks. A point COULD be made that those booster bucks might otherwise go to more academic purposes … maybe.
- #8 – Ergo …. I LIKE Michael Malone as UNCCH’s Mens’ Basketball Head Coach. To the degree I am, at best, marginally concerned with anything about “sports” as America peers into The Abyss of losing its status as a world-class civilization … I applaud the “powers that be” for this choice. ….. Oh, and last but apparently NOT least … Michael Malone is continuing UNC’s long Basketball Head Coach tradition of being “married to a (52 y/o) white woman”. OUCH!
