March 07, 2026
What do the following all have in common? ….
Bob Hope … Kevin Sorbo … Nancy Lopez … Sylvester Stallone … “Goldberg” … George Brett … Brooks Robinson … Jack Nicholson … Annika Sorenstam … Johnny Unitas … Jack Nicklaus … Joe Pesci … Arnold Palmer … Rush Limbaugh … Phil Mickelson … Marie Osmond … Jeff Gordon … Mack Brown … Darrell Waltrip … Tiger Woods … Lawrence Taylor … & Lou Holtz. … and a buncha other assorted whozits.
At some point in their mundane lives each of’em have spent the better part of a day on a picturesque golf course somewhere in America with a bona fide Internet Legend named BobLee.
But only one of the above passed away this week – Coach Lou Holtz.
It was about 15 or so years ago somewhere in Upstate South Carolina. It might have been Thornblade CC outside of Greenville … after a while fancy country clubs and picturesque golf courses all sorta run together.
It was a Gamecock Booster event. Thats as much detail as I recall … EXCEPT a coupla bits of wisdom Coach Holtz imparted …
Over 5-6 hours “tee talk” conversations can range from “Where is the nearest restroom?” …. “When’s that cart girl coming around again?” … “Is it suppose to rain?” To the following subject Coach Holtz and I got into …
When College Football programs invite former players to come back for “reunions” … for Spring games … to introduce new coaches … to encourage them to financially support the booster club … or whatever ….
What’s the secret to getting a large turnout of former players from over the past 3-4 decades?
I recall Coach Holtz’s comments … otherwise what’s the point of this commentary.
Lou Holtz said …
(1) Find as many former Asst Coaches from various eras as you can and invite them. Players develop much closer relationships with their position coach than they do with the Head Coach.
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NOTE: This might not work with the Carolina Junction Boys of 1967. Some of them remember their position coach like an Auschwitz survivor remembers his prison guards.
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(2) Getting former AfAm players to come back is often a problem. Why is that? ….
That is a serious flaw all across college football that gets ignored.
Men get into their 30s … long after football careers are over … specifically the 98% that never even get an NFL tryout … and realize they did not “get an actual college education” … they simply “played football” for XYZ school. Taking a series of “stay eligible courses” does not prepare one for a for-real “make a living” career.
A former “star player” might have a value schmoozing clients for a company. “Tell us about that game when you _______” . That’s basically being a trained seal. Otherwise his options are limited to low level “jobs” with no career potential.
The best option for many is the military … that window is only open for a few years in his mid 20s.
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NOTE: Mary Willingham UNC’s “whistleblower” of 15+ years ago said … “When a student athlete leaves UNC he should have more than a 5th reading comprehension. If not we have failed him. We are his last chance to develop marketable life skills.”
Mary got run out of Chapel Hill for such blasphemy. Last I heard she was teaching remedial reading to disadvantaged kids in South Chicago.
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Remembering being one of a few dozen “black jocks” among 20,000 predominantly middle class white students leaves a bad taste with grown men about their overall college experience.
There are exceptions of course depending upon a black student athlete’s family situation and his maturity level to see beyond “playing football”.
It’s a real problem … more so in some programs than others.
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Lou Holtz was more than “just a football coach”. He was a philosopher … a thinker … he read books other than The Art of War … he watched movies other than “Patton”. And, of course, he was an accomplished Magician. Using his trademark “wiffle dust”, his “hand magic” act was the equal of a Las Vegas street “busker”.
In his final years, Coach Holtz, like Dickie V and Lee Corso, got a little “goofy” … as do many of us.
Not all of my “tee times” with those celebrities up top were as memorable.
Kevin “Hercules” Sorbo was a regular and a “great guy”; as was the wrestler Bill “Goldberg”. Nancy Lopez was terrific … she could charm a foursome the minute they walked up.
With rare exceptions, they knew Why they were there … to benefit the charity / cause d’jour by making every participant feel special for their few minutes together.
I did so many of these events over a 10-12 year period, I got where I could tell in the first few minutes if it was going to be “a long day”. That day with Coach Holtz, obviously was a “good time”.
I worked with Sylvester Stallone and Jack Nicholson for a couple of years at a charity event at Riviera Country Cub in Pacific Palisades outside LA.
One year I took “Kid” with me. Both guys posed for pictures with her. She had NO CLUE who they were. We got home and she showed the pictures “with some friends of my Dad” to her friends who recognized them immediately … “Kid’s” status at Broughton High School went thru the roof. … That story was a big hit when I told it at her rehearsal dinner.
I learned the hard way that I was not put on this earth to be a raconteur. 500 people in Rapid City, South Dakota – including oddly enough Sen. John Thune – will attest to that. To paraphrase the memorable Thanksgiving episode of WKRP … “As God is my witness, I thought a line about drunk Indians would fly…”
I died that night just 258 miles east of the Little Big Horn where George Armstrong Custer met his historic fate. Unlike Custer, I lived to fight another day.
At Kid’s rehearsal dinner and my Eulogy at Rush’s memorial service five years ago … I did Hit Homer Runs when it counted.
Otherwise I leave raconteuring to pros like Coach Lou Holtz.
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