February 02, 2026
.
A heretofore long-lost Nostradamus Quatrain #21574 has been unearthed beneath a stool at a Waffle House on the outskirts of Provence, France. It predicts that …
… on or about October 20, 2034; in a hotly contested P4 college football game between Team A and Team B; on his way to his lockerroom at halftime, the QB for Team A will be handed a paper bag filled with BitCoin … will immediately change direction and report to his new team – Team B … whom he will lead to a 2nd half comeback victory over his former team – Team A. … no big deal as such has become “normal” by that time – 2034.
What makes it unusual is that FINALLY by 2034 not one single college football fan finds anything unusual by that and DOES NOT post indignantly on social media that “College Football is ruined … it is just minor league NFL … and what happened to academics…”.
If Nostradamus is correct, it will only take EIGHT more years for that grim realization to be universally accepted. In the intervening eight years, the hues and cries will continue as what “used to be” college football fades inexorably from the memories of even the most hard-headed of King Canute-esque fans yelling against the tides.
The College Football/Basketball you were addicted to for most iof your life is as Dead & Gone as George Carlin and Robin Williams.
For the record, I THINK what happened with the former Duke QB was disgusting … surpassed only by what happened to Dabo and the Clemson LB and Ol’ Miss. THAT was beyond disgusting. I can say the above being fully aware that the blatant shenanigans that are now “legal” have been going on “illegally” for several decades.
Ahhh for those Good Ol’ Days when all college sports fans AGREED that … “Every school cheats EXCEPT My School; and our Hated Rival cheats the most …” ……. Indeed, those Good Ol’ Days! LOL.
The NCAA rulebook of “Thou Shalt Nots” has been reduced to a single Post-It note
Warning “Try Not To Mention “God” So Much” in post-game interviews.
I have a proposal as regards the Total Elimination of “Academics” in the NIL /Portal Era.
_______________
Every P4 “institution” must offer a degree curriculum in “I Want To Play Sports for A Living”.
Think about it … Is there any difference in an 18 y/o boy with obvious athletic ability wanting to be the next Maye – Manning – Mahomes – “Michael” et al ….. OR an 18 y/o savant with exceptional computer tech skills wanting to be the next Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, etc. ? …. or any 18 y/o aspiring to be doctor, lawyer, aerospce engineer, business mogul.
With each of the above – athlete – compu-nerd – MD – attorney wannabee … four+ years of advanced training in any of those occupational disciplines might well reveal “wishin’ won’t make it so” and a change in occupational direction might result.
The following does not apply to UNCCH Lower Level fans … who still tout “Rusty Clark was a Morehead AND became a Doctor” when the subject of “student athletes” comes up in any conversation. Yes, that WAS 60 years ago. So?
Locally, NCSU’s Parks & Rec Dept is filled with once upon a time “engineers” who never cleared the freshman hurdle of Calculus. Over at UNCCH … “Organic Chemistry” waylays many a “Doctor wannabee”. A BMOC QB at Class 1A East Bertie Central might find the going a tad tougher on the P4 or even Group of Five level …
A mandatory “Play Sports for a LIving” curriculum major would, of course, immediately attract every P4 NIL-temporarily wealthy young man .. or woman.
This new curriculum would be specifically designed for “student-athletes” (cough, cough) on team rosters. Of course, “lazy fraternity boys” could also enroll because … as we learned during UNC’s Great Unpleasantness … so long as a few “lazy frat boys” are in a class it can be as bogus as necessary for “easy A’s”.
Actually “easy A’s” will no longer be necessary since GPAs and “academic eligibility” have already been eliminated in Big Time College Sports.
Classes in the “Playing Sports for a Living” curriculum could include …
* How To Change Oil in a Lambo … * Famous Quotes from John Madden, Dickie V, Al McGuire, and Chris Berman … *. How to Spell NIL – ESPN – SEC … & Krzyzewski … * Most Popular Trite Insults for Hated Rivals … * Why Mamma’s Latest Boyfriend Should NOT be Your Agent … * Best Barbershops in Every Pro Sports City … * Best Pizza Joints in Croatia When You get Cut from the G-League … * Three Dieties Other than “God” to Thank in a Post-game Interview w/ Holly Rowe … * How Many Zeros in a Million … * Avoid Financial Advisors Named “Sneaky Pete” or Mamma’s Latest Boyfriend … * The Big Difference Between Miami (Ohio) and Miami (“The U”) … * Transitioning from Playing to Broadcasting – taught by Tony Romo and RGlll … with one mandatory class – Reading at a 9th grade level before you turn 21.
YIKES … I kinda got carried away there ….. You can see that the curriculum possibilities are limitless. All classes will be taught (?) by full-figured gals with names ending in “i”.
The alternative to “Playing Sports For A Living” will be a cooperative arrangement with a local community college / trade school offering classes in …. How To Parallel Park a UPS Truck … and … Does UberEats or DoorDash Offer the Best 401K …. How To Scam Elderly Widows as a Bogus Handyman.
______________
Did you know: Gio Lopez arrived in Chapel Hill last Spring. Lets say “April”. He was guaranteeed (supposedly) $2,000,000 by GM Michael Lombardi’s whizbang talent scouts (i.e. his two sons and his next-door neighbor “Bruce”). Gio Lopez said “so long suckas” to Chapel Hill for Winston-Salem in December.
Those nine months netted Gio $220,000 /month. UNC won four games @ $55,000/W. Had Gio’s grandmother passed away while he was at UNC he could have charted a tricked-out 747 to her funeral and given free pizzas to everyone at the funeral service. ….. the age-old problem of college athletes not affording the basics available to other students seems to have been solved! Ya think?
_____________
NFL Commish Roger Goodell is on the “Hot Seat”. “Folks like me (and most of you)” are pissed w/ Roger booking “Bad Bunny” ANOTHER Whitey American-hatin’ Rap Whozit for SB Halftime …. Folks like ESPN’s Whitey-haters ‘R Us are pissed at Roger for ZERO Black (OR Gay OR Trany OR Illegal) HCs being hired this go-round. That leaves Ol’ Rog about as popular as ego-maniacal jackass “Terrible Thommy” Tillis at Mar-A-Lago.
_____________
Speaking of “popular” … UNC Football Messiah Bill Bill&Chick ain’t too popular with NFL Hall of Fame voters. No gold blazer for Bill … not this year, any way. JordOn had already scheduled a soiree for Bill’s induction ceremony in August. Invitees include Brady, Gronk, “the guy who deflated the footballs, “the guy who spied on Bill’s opponents”, the store manager for her Mom’s Dildo Store in P-Town, and, of course, Notorious UNC Trustee John Preyer. JordOn was planning to wear “a gold blazer” … nothing else, just a gold blazer … and her trademark “hooker boots”.
_____________
