January 07, 2026
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While my application to be the Messianic Czar of Big Time College Football languishes in an obscure In-box of some obscure functionary in the dark forboding HQ of The Feckless NCAA … I will lower my aim just a tad … offering to be The Bearer of How-To Maybes for the terminally disappointed and generally pissed off college football “fans” all across The Fruited Plain (or across The ACC which now stretches from Sea to Shining Sea across FOUR freakin’ time zones … soon to be renamed The Atlantic (& Pacific) Coasts Conference)
To keep it simple for “those of you in Rio Linda” I’m going to offer the tiniest sintilla of hope for The Sleeping Giant ‘R Us bunch. Indeed, multi-decades of crushing disappointments … oh so often accumulated by early October … when the oh-so-familiar reality of mediocrity takes root in yet another Autumn of Angst.
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First a SHOUT-OUT to the “PIrates of Pitt County” – The ECU Pirates – bowl victors for the 2nd consecutive year over a “good, middle tier” ACC program. Without their quarterback and several key staff, ECU defeated Pitt … thereby strengthing their resume for future membership in BobLee’s Mythical Common Sense Conference someday.
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BUT FIRST ... By the time you read this UNC Alumnus Drake Maye might either be NFL MVP or runner-up MVP to Matthew Stafford … both of whom, along with “Ol’ Man Rivers” are living embodiments of “Chip Hilton”…. Every mother’s sons that we wish all pro atletes could be … sigh.
PR’s well-documented Ten children all being with the SAME Mother / his lawfully wedded Wife. Fer sure, a record NEVER to be broken EVER. … To be clear, numerous NFLers – most of whom are WRs for some reason, have seeded 8-10-12+ children by 6-8-10+ skanky gals – many of which are blond floozies with uncontrollable Mandingo fantasies. … When a player is paying support for more children than he has social media followers he might consider reevaluating his life direction.
Whether Drake Maye is MVP this year … or for 8 of the 10 next seasons … is not the Big Deal here. Since the mid 70s … frustrated UNCers have had to suffer the indignity of Hated Rivals raving about their Roman and PR and Sonny and Norm and – allowing for a few Sams, Mitches, and T.J.s – OldWellers have had to only counter with “What about Scott Stankavage?” who had a cup of coffee with the Broncos during the Jimmy Carter administration.
Is UNC now positioned to become “QB U”? If so, not with Gio Lopez who is transfering out of Chapel Hill with $2,000,000 more than he had when he arrived from South Alabama (?) last Spring. OUCH!
Sure, there was the Kupec brother that scored with Psycho T’s mamma … but lets not bring THAT up again …. and there was State’s Russell Wilson’s early Seahawk years, and one, almost two, SB ring, before he became “DangeRuss” and insufferable. And various others that only nerds and their suitemates remember.
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So, how can Your School become a P4 Football Juggernaut?
First … Annual Juggernauts such as Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State, Michigan, Notre Dame etc will NEVER be as “Juggernautish” from now on … BECAUSE they can NO LONGER stockpile top quality “backups” to replace injured starters.
Top quality backups simply don’t stick around very long. PT and NIL $$$$ beat holding a clipboard and hoping the guy ahead of you on the depth chart blows out a knee …. “Hoping” doesn’t get a Lambo!
This season’s $25-30,000,000 NIL war chests will be $30-40,000,000 this time next year … and $50,000,000 before you know it. Game tickets will be $150+ and bottles of water $10 … and 50% of teams will still always finish below .500.
Indiana did it with a first-time P4 HC … and TexasTech has done it with a freakin’ high school head coach and Vandy is on the cusp of Juggernautism. Why Not “Your School”?
Alls your school needs EVERY YEAR is one Super Duper Deep-Pocket Fat Cat … or the Texas Tech model … a dozen Oil Barons with mega-mega bucks and egos larger than their GameDay RVs.
Indiana supposedly has Mark Cuban as their Super Duper Fat Cat with the monster ego.. No clue who Vanderbilt’s is. Maybe a great grandson of Commodore Vanderbilt hisownself?
For many years, UNC’s Rams Club GodFather was Maurice “Mo” Koury but I’m pretty sure Ol’ Mo cashed out a few decades ago. These days – I think – The Biggest Ram is Mr “Grady White Boats” – Eddie Smith who might be the single most universally well-liked fellow around The Old Well since Dickie Grubar or Danny Talbott.
Over in West Raleigh, of course, it’s “Boss Hogg” Wendell Murphy who the Dump Doeren Gang keeps prayin’ will ante up $25,000,000 for Dour Dave’s buy-out .. so’s they can go hire Monte Kiffin’s boy Lane to ride a horse into The Brickyard someday.
It doesn’t matter how big an NIL war chest Dour Dave gets to dole out … the “Damn Refs” will always make sure the Wolfpack NEVER play in the ACC Championship Game. Right Wolfpackers?
Iron Dukes own most of New Jersey and Wall Street. No clue about Deacon Dollar Guys.
ECU worked their butts off a year or so ago to reach a $1,000,000 NIL war chest… only to find out that pittance only buys a deep snapper, two 3rd string left guards and a back-up punter. YIKES! Not too many Lambos parked by the Pirates dressing room at Dowdy-Ficklin these days… or forseeable future days.
I’m sure there are numerous others on NCSU and UNCCH alumni rolls with monster bank accounts capable of buying dozens of Gio Lopez’ every year …. IF they choose too. Doing so EVERY YEAR has yet to be determined. It’s called Donor Fatique … and its a for-real thing.
Am I the only one who wonders how much UNCCH Trustee John “Mack’s BFF” Preyer gives each year?
Most of UNCCH $$$$$ that don’t “rent a Gio” for a mediocre year go to various members of the Belichick and Lombardi families who stand on the sidelines with Sugar Baby JordOn on GameDay. OUCH!
Speaking of JordOn … the one spelled JordAn is the one everyone along Franklin Street keeps thinking will SOMEDAY send over a blank check with room for ten zeros …. it ain’t happened yet. But Hope Springs Eternal …
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I’ve watched 1,000s of sports events on TV in my life … not ONCE have I ever made a Watch / Don’t Watch decision … or given any thought whatsoever to who the announcers were. Apparently I am unique in that regard.
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Which is mentioned more often in Revelation By John as a sure sign of End Of Days …. (1) On-line Sports Betting … or …. (2) Free Hard-Core Porn w/ a keyboard click?
Do either of those two come close to the furtherance of Western Civilization as being able to order ANYTHING from Amazon from a box of Q-tips to a refrigerator and have it on your front porch tomorrow?
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Freely admitting that no-account political corruption is a non-partisan pandemic in the DC Swamp … that has spread nationwide ….. will we in our collectiive lifetimes encounter an elected official as hopelessly incompetently buffoonish as “The Minnesota Moron” – Tim Walz? Can Reverse Evolution sink ANY lower than Tim Walz?
Each of us over our lives have likely said or done something we admit was “stoopid”. So “stoopid” that we cannot completely erase it from our memories. Take heart that by 9:00 AM each morning Tim Walz says or does something that dwarfs the stoopiedist thing you or I have EVER, or might ever, said or done.
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