December 22, 2025
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Really, I was all set to do a year-end wrap up of the Freak Show Circus otherwise known as 2025. I had just signed off with my Facebook buddies for the week … Blondie and I are heading to Richmond for Christmas.
I DID say I would be available IF (1) The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse rode in and it “started raining frogs” … OR … (2) if “Governor Timmy The Retard” announced that Ilhan Omar was his and Jasmine Crockett “love child” … OR … and this was just being silly … (3) UNC Coach Bill&Chick hired Bobby Petrino as his OC.
Knowing that #1 and. #2 were highly unlikely and #3 was an absurd impossibility. “Ol’ Coach Bill The HornDog” could not be THAT tone-deaf. … Yes, He IS THAT tone-deaf.
A version of Occam’s Razor says “Your first thought – when hearing something totally ABSURD – will probably be the best line you’ll come up with”.
My first thought was …
Bill expects Bobby to bring “Motorcycle Babe” to be “Sugar Babe JordOn’s” BFF and join her in prancing about on Kenan’s sidelines “like two $10 hookers offering a menage a trois for $15”. …. BTW: Bobby’s side piece’s name is/was “Jessica” and she is married, lives in Texas and coaches high school volleyball.
My second thought was …
Does this tone-deaf fool have offers in to Sherrod Moore and Mel Tucker … two other fired horn-dog coaches?
My third thought was …
Has Bill ordered his toadie – Trustee John Preyer – to replace that stoopid Well with a stripper pole … yet?
My fourth & final thought was …
Has dear departed KIndly Ol’ Bill Friday rolled over in his grave and vomited up his pancreas … yet?
Sure, the mouth-breathin’ morons in the Franklin Street Sleepin’ Giant ‘R Us Society are in a euphoric conniption in the middle of the intersection of Franklin & Columbia …. “Hot Diggity … Bill & Bobby will surely get us to 6-6 and a Mayo/Weedeater/PopTart Bowl within 3 years or less. GO HEELS!”
In a quiet part of Heaven reserved for former Deans of Women for Flagships … “Kitty” Carmichael sighs … “I told’em back in 1968 that ‘coed dorms’ would be a gateway drug to full-scale debauchery.” You were right, Kitty. It took 57 years but ….
Ye Olde Flagship is now Orange County’s very own “Epstein Island” for fired old horn dogs. “Slick Willie” Clinton has already offered to be Commencement Speaker next May … at no charge … just a pass key to Sorority Row.
I’ll likely have more to say about Grumpy Old Bill and his Evil Plan to completely destroy 200+ years of genteel pomposity in The Southern Part of Heaven
I still think this is an elaborate early April Fool joke. Hey, Chansky, tell me this is all a joke.
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Kinda related to the above mess … someone sent me a clip of an interview that the aforementioned Trustee John Preyer did recently with WRAL. I underestimated that pompous jackass. The BS he spewed in that interview proved he is an even bigger weasel than I thought.
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On a lighter note … unless you gave up on TV westerns when Bonanza was cancelled … or stopped watching Lonesome Dove because “Lorrie Darlin’ was a whore” …. YOU Gotta Watch LANDMAN!
I’m bettin’ many / most of youans are already addicted to the latest Taylor Sheridan R-rated Super Series staring Billy Bob Thornton. Season One is available on Paramount Plus and Season Two is thru Episode Six already.
Imagine all the dysfunctional characters and plotlines from Yellowstone except in the West Texas Oil Patch. If you thought Beth Dutton was a handful for Rip wait’ll you meet Ali Larter as Billy Bob’s (“Tommy Norris”) on again off-again wife “Angela”. YEEE-HA!
Billy Bob’s character – “Tommy Norris” – is Operations Manager for M-Tex – a mega Oil operation. He gets beat up and tortured a lot but his solution is “get me a cigarette … and a Dr Pepper”. One of MANY “great lines” in Landman.
My personal favorite scene so far is M-Tex’s she-lawyer – Rebecca – soliloquy to opposing consel in a deposition which ends with “…….. and I’ll hang your law licenses over my toilet”.
Many Landman addicts prefer the epic scene known simply as “The Roadhead Scene”. If you have to ask “huh?” you’re gonna miss a lot in Landman but you oughta watch any way.
Its really a “Billy Bob Thornton in The Oil Patch” show but does feature Jon Hamm as an Oil Baron … Demi Moore as Mrs Oil Baron … and Andy Garcia as a lovable charming Cartel KIngpin. Oh… and everyone’s favorite – Sam Elliott – as Billy Bob’s dysfunctional daddy. Its been quite a few years since Sam was “Wade Garrett” in RoadHouse. Those “quite a few years” are showing on Sam but he still has the ‘tache.
Landman earns its R-rating in language and explicit content; but not in a way that you can’t admit to your fellow Rotarians and Chuch Deacons that you watch it. They probably do too.
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OK …. I’m outta here ….. UNLESS, of course, Those Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse show up while it’s raining frogs …
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