April 30, 2025
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After 26 years and over 2,600 incredibly insightful commentaries, one develops a certain “spidey sense” of fast approaching ABSURDITY . So it was this week. I was way overdue for a new Rimshots so I reluctantly figured the NFL Draft Brouhaha with Coach Prime’s son might be the best I could muster … BOY, WAS I WRONG ….. that “spidey sense” said wait a few more days … WHAMMO!
NOTE TO DROP-BY READERS: If you are not familiar with “me” and what I do and how I do it … you probably should know the following before reading further. …. Yes, I matriculated at UNCCH and I was present in the Kenan Stadium locker room when Vince Dooley’s 34 y/o little brother Bill introduced himself as UNC’s latest Head Football Coach… at $36,000/year.
To this day, I count among my friends of over 50 years Don McCauley, Gayle Bomar, Battle Wall, “Dr Tommy” Dempsey, “Bear” Renedo, Curt Wynn, “Marion The Barbarian” Barnes and the late Danny Talbott … and other “Tar Heels” of that era. Over the past 15 years, I added former Chancellor Holden Thorp to my personal friend list.
By association “Carolina” has been “my team” pretty much most of my life. Though its sports teams’ wins and losses have never determined my day-to-day happiness nor my self-worth. I count many long time friends among “Carolina’s” HATED RIVALS. They don’t hate me because of where I went to college, nor do I judge them by their choice. Doing so has always struck me as incredibly silly.
Due to the ebb and flow of the various socio-cultural-political times we live in, I have estranged myself from my alma mater over the past 20+ years. I care even less than I ever did about the ups and downs of that oft-embattled academic institution. With one notable exception … I added a new personal friend ten years ago … one Richie “Bubba” Cunningham – UNC (oft-embattled as of late) Director of Athletics.
I am also a proud warrior for MAGA Nation and an ardent supporter of the (also oft-embattled) President Donald J. Trump in his nine year 24/7 war against 40,000,000+ or so goggle-eyed, obscenity-screaming left-wing liberal lunatics under the spell of THE most corrupt amoral political cartel in American history – Democrats. Republicans being the 2nd most corrupt political cartel in America. MS-13 is a distant 3rd.
If any of the above would cause you not to appreciate my thoughts on the latest / current Global Embarrassment to befall “The Flagship” over in The Southern Part of Heaven …. I suggest you click out and save yourself 10 minutes of frustration.
This week, Donald Trump celebrated his First 100 Days as America’s 47th POTUS. A 100 Days filled with numerous Thrills of Victory & Agonies of black-robed terrorists masquerading as “judges” …. it’s been one helluva 100 Days fer sure …
If there be one man in America whose own past 100 Days (actually more like 120 Days) qualifies him to say to President Trump “Hold My Beer” …. it be Richie “Bubba” Cunningham. I’m not sure either man would trade his travails with the other.
Lord luv a duck …. Bubba Bubba Bubba … I’m not standing by you if there is lightning within 20 miles.
From the 100% totally justified “firing of Mack Brown” … the sneak attack from the silverspoon weasel – John Preyer – Chair of the clueless Board of Trustees … Preyer’s stunt contacting Belichick … then the March Madness Mess where Bubba – totally undeservingly -was America’s #1 Sports Villain for a week .. and now this latest Glorious Mess – The Belichickian Dumpster Fire.
“Other than all that Mrs Cunningham … “How was the play?”
Speaking of that BOT weasel – John Preyer …. I’ll betcha a coupla chili dogs at Sutton’s that we won’t hear a peep outta him about this … and Lord knows what else is headed our way – from those crazy lovebirds – Bill & Jordon. … i.e. “B&J”
Am I the only one who wonders how much $$$$ John Preyer has personally donated of the $50,000,000 deal he gave Bill? Howsabout the whole Board of Trustees … have they individually given generously to Dear Ol’ UNC? Daddy’s $$$ doesn’t count.
I don’t need to repeat chapter and verse of this current Dumpster Fire … it’s on every print and electronic and on-line sports news site and a viral wildfire on social media. At one point yesterday, Clay Travis’ OutKick had three different stories about IT.
“Jordon” is on pace to pass Taylor Swift media hits by noon on Sunday. Faster than she ever imagined.
If “Jordon” defeats the blond trany and wins Miss Maine will she become more or less insufferable?
Speaking of “Jordon” … how ironic that that Most Hallowed Name in Carolina sports lore – surpassing even “Choo Choo” – now has to share notoriety with ….
…. a 24 y/o bimbo whose mama sells dildos and assorted “erotica” to carnival freaks in Provincetown Mass. “XXL Purple” being her most popular dildo. Who knew?
Should we assume that “B&J” get a discount on Mama Hudson’s erotic merchandise? There’s a visual that will give one nightmares.
How is all this being dealt with on scenic Franklin Street? Tru Blue Loyalists are NOT known for self-effacing humor – the ability to laugh at oneself.
Any joke on Franklin Street must include the words “tractor” and “State fan” or “rich Jews from New Jersey” and “Dook”. Any mention of “Bill & Jordon” gets a Harumph and a scowl.
FWIW: Our favorite focus group – Dean’s 8,000,000,000 Chinese – are laughing their little Chinese butts off over this.
Historians of Carolina Football know that “Jordon” is not the first Head Coach WAG (“WAG” – wife / girl friend for those of you in Rio Linda) to enjoy free rein of the hallways of the Kenan Football Center. Dawn (Mrs John) Bunting and Sally (Mrs Mack) Brown both were frequent (daily) visitors when their respective hubbies had the corner office with the fish tank. …… It is a practice very NOT recommended in How To Be A CEO …
“Jordon” IS, however, the first Head Coach’s girl friend young enough to be the Head Coach’s granddaughter AND young enough to “date” the players … a fact that gets way too close to a very indelicate possibility we shall avoid.
Since “B&J” are just friends w/ benefits with no known deeper commitments … could Jordon drop Bill for say UNC’s Deep Snapper? THAT could get kinda dicey don’t you think?
Bill’s contract provides him with 25 hours of private jet usage. What about a comp supply of “little blue pills” from the Student Infirmary?
Will ANY of THIS matter if Bill’s 2025 Tar Heels defeat TCU and win 7-8 games including beating Hated Rivals? No … except on fan message boards of Hated Rivals where THIS will fester 24/7 for the next nine months.
Will ANY of THIS matter if Bill’s 2025 Tar Heels lose to TCU and only win 3-4 meaningless games against “cupcakes” AND lose AGAIN to Hated Rivals? YES indeed. IT will matter quite a bit.
Do Bill & Jordon (“B&J”) have a right to “privacy” in their personal life? Of course … but they have chosen to be VERY public about it so all those restrictions are off.
Is “everyone” making a BFD about THIS because everyone is sooo jealous because UNCCH is such a cool school? …….. I haven’t seen any indication of that whatsoever except by UNCers with a very very narrow “world view”.
Will Jordon have her very own headset and stand by Bill on the sidelines during for-real games?
THIS Global Embarrassment will eventually die down … all Global Embarrassments have a shelf life. If “B&J” are the subjects of more Global Embarrassments will UNC Administration be pressured by enough embarrassed alumni to “do something about them”? …. What form might “do something” take?
What are the odds that Bill will be UNC HFBC a year from now?
What are the odds that Bill might lock Jordon in the basement of their rented Chapel Hill mansion until he has his team “bowl eligible” around mid November … maybe?
Who, if anyone, does Bill consider “his boss” at UNC?
Who has the kajones – and the authority – to call Bill Belichick into his/her office and say “Don’t Do This Stoopid Crap Any More. Is there any part of “Stoopid Crap” you don’t understand?”
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Several longtime BobLee readers think THIS has the potential to beat the classic “Two Cheerleaders In A Toilet Stall”. That is a very high bar to set.
