January 16, 2024
I don’t know if I’ve ever posted back-to-back columns but these be unusual times …
I suppose I could hold off this one a few days; but “low-hanging fruit” is just too easy to pick.
Earlier today, according to “my buddy” Art Chansky …
UNC’s Mack Brown joined NCState’s “Dour Dave” Doeren and most if not all HFBCs in Power4 and G-5 programs in …
BEGGING (“threatening”) his fan base of tru-blue “Kenanites” to cash in their 401-Ks and raid their kids’ college funds to allow him to fill up his Rent-A-Roster. … or else. See LInk next…
Mack tells UNC fans to pay up … or else.
NOTE: In the original copy of this press release Mack included … “If you people don’t send a bunch of money, I might just retire to Linville. Luckily dutiful wife Sally caught that in time. “Honey, I don’t think you want to give them that option.”
Mack’s Heels4Life scheme does not guarantee that any of his mercenaries will have a clue who Choo Choo was … or Hark To any Sound but cha-ching.
NOTE: Within 30 minutes of Mack issuing his plea … a cross-eyed goober on Inside Carolina claiming to represent “all us Wal-Mart fans” simply posted …. “WTH Mack … are you nutz?”
Hubert, Anson Dorrance and WhatsHerName the UNC WBB coach want to know if Mack intends to share the loot. To which, Mack supposedly said … “WTH … are you nutz?”
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If the average Kenanite wants to pay $50-$75 / game to watch a bunch of 18-20 y/o nameless mercenaries with 5th grade reading comprehension run around “amid Kenan’s lofty pines” next Fall … then they better come up with a big ol’ stack of Benjamins, Mack says he MUST HAVE to “go get’em”.
If not, Mack implied that next September and October could end up like the past two Novembers … OUCH … if ya get my drift … and I’m sure you do.
To be fair to Mack … EVERY Head Coach in Big Time or sorta Big Time College Football is putting the squeeze on their “foam-fingered fans” to have even a decent team from now on.
If “UNC fans” want a competitive team that might take fans selling one’s blood … or maybe selling a daughter or two to an Arab sheik’s harem.
Apparently changing $500,000/year coordinators after every “3 & out” isn’t enough.
You may recall that “Dour Dave” dropped the same “YOU BETTER…” hammer on his Pack People when they were still drunk on the sweet wine of victory over Mack’s motley crew back in November.
“Dour Dave’s” did not pull his punches. If those Carter-Finley fans (the same ones that stay out at the half too long) did NOT ante up Big Bucks damn quick. then Freshman sensation Kevin Concepcion would have Raleigh in his rear view mirror in a Fuquay minute. Of course, next November Dave will be saying the same thing … as will Mack if Mack has any “sensations”.
Begging fans for Rent-A-Roster $$$ is now as much a part of Big Time College FB / MBB as “blaming the refs … ” and “cussin’ Kirk Herbstreit and whoever your conference’s commissioner is”.
“Dour Dave’s” threat worked … and Concepcion has leased his skills to NCState for another 12 months. HALLELUJIA !! He COULD still leave in April, of course, if any of his monthly bag o’ bucks come up short.
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As I read Mack’s “Puleeeze … ya gotta HELP me” entreaty, I keep hoping … “Mack, do NOT mention Tez or his grandmother”. Thankfully he did not.
Will the Kenanites pay up? Sure, a certain faction. will. Remember, many of these folks believe Dean Smith was “born of a virgin” and “rose on the 3rd day” … and that awful statue of “Silent Sam” was the cause of all the evil in this world. They be a weird species to say. the least.
Q: BobLee, a question … couldn’t His Airness The Billionaire finance Mack’s Rent-A-Roster with his pocket change? You know … “the ceiling is the roof” … etc etc.
A: I suppose so but “Dean” told all his former players NOT to give any money to UNC because their play on the court was enough.
Q: BobLee … is there “another way” that isn’t as embarrassing as this pitiful begging by a 70+ y/o man making $4,000,000/a year and still losing to NCState three years in a row?
A: Yes … I have an idea. It’ll cost some “legal fees” but when did that ever stop UNC from getting their way? OUCH!
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“Booster clubs” in major college sports – Rams Club, WPC, Iron Dukes, et al – are set up as a 501-C3s to allow tax-deductible donations by fans/alumni eager to help dear ol’ alma mater whup on its hated rivals … hopefully. When a booster club donation IS tax-deductible is kinda tricky … to give a tax accounant migraines.
If a donor “gets anything” in return for his/her/its donation it is NOT tax-deductible. Since 110% of donors donate in order to get ticket priorities the tax thingy is pretty much moot.
Booster clubs are currently restricted to providing tuition, books, fees, room, board to “student-athletes”. Since the term “student-athlete” is now a punchline … its past time to redirect those $$$$.
Lets turn “booster clubs” into keepers / dispersers of the NIL / Portal “war chests”. Do away with these goofy “collectives” which are more corrupt than a drug cartel and have more definitions than Eskimos have words for snow.
18-20 y/o mercenaries-for-rent can opt to “actually go to college” OR simply take the $$$ and hang out around campus dreaming about being NFL / NBA super studs … while checking out coeds of course.
In reality that what most of’em are doing any way … so other than changing a few paragraphs in their business charters, the “booster clubs” can finance Mack & Dave & all their coaching buddies Rent-A-Rosters …
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There are a coupla bugs to work out … but it would sure beat Ol’ Mack standing on the corner of Franklin and Columbia holding a bucket, and a sign – “$5 – $10 Whatever you can spare”.
Somewhere KIndly Ol’ Bill Friday is laughing his butt off.
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More BobLee Rimshopts …. HERE
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