November 13, 2023
Failure = Millions ….. Floating The Tuckasegee …. A Legend Grows in South Richmond.
BREAKING NEWS: The National Clearinghouse for Embattled College Sports Programs has formally registered Univ of Michigan as the 83rd program to declare –
- Everybody is Against Us ‘Cause We’re So Cool ….
- It’s Us Against The World. ….
- We Didn’t Do Nuthin’ Our Hated Rival Didn’t Do Worse Than We Didn’t Do …
- and that old favorite It’s A Stoopid Rule. ….. sigh, yawn, burp.
“They all hate us because we have (1) a cool “fight song” …. and (2) really cool helmets”. UM Board of Regents is considering changing the words of their “cool fight song” to Hail To The Victims Valiant …
Locally, overly-caffeinated board monkeys at both UNCCH and NCSU note they were the 7th and 9th delushionally paranoid programs to be so registered over 30 years ago.
For all of you wanting to know if the “High-Priced DC law firm” that Michigan has hired to obfuscate it’s current mess is the same one UNCCH hired to obfuscate it’s Af-Am Studies mess … I don’t know. I don’t think so. “High-priced DC law firms” are as numerous as “Deep-Pocketed Fat Cats in the SEC”.
At least for this week … “Jimbo” has surpassed “Taylor Swift” for total number of snarky comments on social media. Which is as much a sad commentary on the septic field of social media as it is “Jimbo” or Miss Swift.
“Jimbo” being, at least temporarily, not an active Power5 Head Coach – breaks the 3-way log jam for “Power5’s Most Easily Dislikable Head Football Coach” to a two-coach tie between LSU’s Brian Kelly and Michigan’s Jim “I didn’t do nuthin’ this time either” Harbaugh.
Even after removing “Jimbo” the current plight of Mega-Mega-Millions Power5 Head Coaches is kinda shakey … MichState’s Mel Tucker … USC’s Lincoln Riley … PennState’s James Franklin … Miami’s Mario Cristobal … to name four “struggling”. One could add “Dabo” but his likability among IPTAYers not named “Tyler” is still solid … assuming he changes his policy on “deep diving into The Portal”.
Fear not … Deep-Pocketed Fat Cats are a hard-headed bunch. If throwing mega-bucks at a flavor-of-the-month coach MIGHT get them “braggin’ rights” at their country club, by golly, let’s DO IT.
Recall the immortal words of H.L. Hunt back in the early 60s when it was pointed out. that his son – Lamar – was losing $1,000,000/year with his fledgling AFL . “At that rate he will be broke in 100 years” daddy H.L. scoffed.
“A LOT of $$$$” is a very relative term. If Aggie Oil Barons and their ilk across Power5 World want what they want and think “mo money” is how to get it … so be it. If all that $$$$ is on an oil baron’s hip or in Jimbo’s bank account … it ain’t you’rn or my money.
It’s all Monopoly Money any hooo … kinda like the Federal Deficit … OUCH!
I still strongly maintain that our local ACC schools’ “Fat Cats” are a very different breed than their SEC brethren and assorted others in Power5.
Yes, our fat cats have shown they WILL ante up for Hindenburg Hangar IPFs and “more charging stations” and pimped-out locker rooms but throwing wheelbarrow loads of cash at coaches and semi-literate 18 y/os who openly admit to ZERO loyalty to your dear ol’ alma mater is another matter.
The ROI on that silly practice is well … “silly”. Sure, without a depth chart liberally sprinkled with NIL-engored 4-5 star mercenaries, one simply will not breath the rarified air of SuperPower World. That’s a Fact!
BUT … one can still enjoy very very enjoyably competitive Fall Saturdays – like Saturday night’s nail-biter in Kenan – by playing programs of similar mindsets. VOILA … BobLee’s Boutique ACC … achievable even with the ridiculous Trans-Continental newcomers.
Floating The Tuckasegee …
Last week “BL Buddy Bo” and I floated the Tuckasegee River in Western NC near Cullowee with “Thomas The Guide”. It was Thomas’ 40th consecutive day taking clients in pursuit of ever-elusive brook, brown and rainbow trout. Bo and I were, of course, his most enjoyable clients of the 40 … or so he said … as we contemplated his tip.
We stopped counting after we had boated “over 30” brooks and browns. None were trophy-sized, but all gave a good fight on light tackle … and all were released to fight another day … A Very Fine Day!
Vicars are People Too …
BL Rimshots Regulars have heard me mention son-in-law “Danny” … AKA “Prince Danny” – AKA “Pastor Danny” – AKA “Vicar Danny”.
“Prince Danny” as a BMOC 3-sport legend for Indianapolis’ Westfield High Shamrocks 18 or so years ago … then a 4-year starter at WR for Division III power house Wheaton Thunder … then PCA “Pastor Danny” in a campus ministry at Univ Wisconsin … then through the Pastor Portal to “Vicar Danny” at All Souls Anglican Church in Richmond.
At 6’5″ / 230 lbs in his priestly collar, trademark Red Wing boots and affinity for barbecue and craft beers … “Vicar Danny” was acknowledged last month at an Anglican Symposium in Cambridge England as The Most Physically Imposing Vicar in all of Anglican World by none other than a former Archbishop of Canterbury. …
…. stick with me. This is all leading to A HOOT!
Soooo last week Danny was driving along Forest Hills Drive in Richmond on his way to do whatever Vicars do when he was “pulled over” by a Richmond LEO for outdated auto registration.
Subsequently an expired drivers license was added to the “Warning”. “Better get these fixed immediately, Pastor” was the LEO’s stern admonition. So much for his original plans for the day.
Hurrying home gathering everything he assumed he could possibly need to “get all this fixed” … Danny headed to the nearest Virginia DMV office …. Uh Oh … a visit to The DMV.
NOTE: Virginia is among the nation’s leaders in Incompetent Affirmative Action hires in state government. Not as catchy a title as Virginia Is For Lovers but sadly true.
The obligatory “standing in a very slow-moving DMV line” for 90 minutes was followed by a scene reminiscent of “Jack Nicholson ordering toast in Five Easy Pieces”.
Despite a shoebox full of ID-verifying birth certificates, utility bills, etc etc including a picture of Danny and his new BFF the afore-mentioned former Archbishop of Canterbury … he lacked some obscure form. …
“Sir, we cannot issue your new registration and operator’s license without _______”. !!!!!
We’ve all “been there”. Right? It had been “one of those days”. A “Why Me, God” Day for all us non-Vicars.
Leaving the DMV office, Danny did not “ask God for a sign” … but “a sign” was there nonetheless …. a metal sign on a metal post about chest high …
A frustrated Vicar Danny gave that metal sign a right cross that woulda made Joe Frazier proud.
Bystanders said they had never seen a 6’5 / 230 lb “preacher” wearing a pastoral collar and Red Wing boots hit a metal sign that hard.
Wife Emily (AKA “Kid”) said “YOU DID WHAT?”
Daughter Scout asked … “What’s a D%$# DMV?”
The Emergency Room Doc said “Wow, you really did a number on that finger”. After a 90-minute surgery inserting a pin, the hand specialist said “Not exactly as good as new but you might be able to shake hands again in a month or so. Next time use your non-dominant hand.”
Father-in-law BobLee said … “Play this right and you’ll be a freakin’ legend among Richmond clergy … Your congregation will LOVE YOU even more than they already do. You just proved that Vicars Are People Too.”
Vicar Danny told the sordid tale to his congregants on Sunday using some obscure parable about “patience in all things”.
Father-in-law BobLee was proven right … again. The Legend grows in Richmond South of The James.
More BobLee Rimshots HERE