April 07, 2023
The exact date is hotly debated …
but for our purposes, “golf” was first played around 1297 in Scotland. Prior to then … How was the size of hailstones reported? Did folks back then really care how large hailstones were … compared to what?
Does Jim Cantore carry the official golf ball that every meteorologist on the planet relies upon as “gospel”?
If Jim decided to use “a pickle ball” instead of “a golf ball” could we as a species adapt?
Until he invaded Czechoslovakia in 1939 …
Adolph Hitler was – according to Neville Chamberlain – “just a nice congenial chap”. By the late 1940s, Hitler’s genocidal atrocities had elevated him to Numero Uno on pretty much every one – not named George Soros – list of Really Really Evil Guys . He remains atop that list 75+ years later to the chagrin of fans of Joseph Stalin, Mao Tse Tung, assorted 3rd world warlords and “you pick’em” serial killers.
It’s rare to never that political rivals agree on anything, but they do agree that “Hitler” is both sides’ go-to “really evil guy” when they want to paint an opponent as really bad.
Who held that distinction prior to AH? Genghis Khan? Caligula? Torquemada? ???
A portion of any partisan rank & file is incredibly ignorant … bone-deep in some cases; but they somehow know who Hitler was. So the use of him as a universal metaphor for “pure evil” works … however …
At the rate that “bone-deep ignorance” is exponentially proliferating, there WILL come a time when the name “Hitler” will draw blank stares. Like asking a millennial what time it is using an analog watch.
Lee Child introduced him to the world in 1997 …
prior to Child’s first novel in 1997 – The Killing Floor – the name “Jack Reacher” only applied to a modestly successful shoe salesman in Joplin Missouri.
27 years later “Jack Reacher” or just “Reacher” is the measuring stick for every single book – e-book – kindle and/or audiobook published anywhere in the world.
“Reacher” is the universal metaphor for literary characters that “Hitler” is to really bad guys”…. and golf balls to hailstones.
It does not matter what genre of literary work it is … fiction / non-fiction / romance / sci-fi / How-To / political tell-all / biography / or action-thriller featuring an iconic loner wandering the country with his toothbrush helping the down-trodden … the author’s publicist MUST by universal decree use a version of the word “Reacher” in the promotional blurb.
It might be “If you like “Reacher” then you will love ______” or “out-Reacher’s Reacher” or “If Reacher was a bisexual albino midget he’d be _______” or using reverse logic “If you didn’t like Reacher, you WILL like ________” or umpteen variations but must contain the word “Reacher”.
A small publishing house in Oswego OR ignored that “must” five years ago. 94 of the first/only publishing run of 100 copies of a promising novel sit unopened in the crest-fallen author’s garage. Do Not Violate The Reacher Rule.
Her star still glows bright in the celebrity firmament …
It’s been six days since The Universe met LSU’s Angel Reese AKA “being me … doing my thang” trash-talking phenom in girls’ basketball. She remains “A Thang” to a culture with an insatiable appetite for very vapid one-trick ponies. Her Mattel action figure is expected to be on shelves by next Monday.
There is a rumor along Washington Road in Augusta that if Tiger Woods somehow makes the cut and is playing on Sunday, Angel Reese will “do her thang” as El Tigre’s caddy. Woods’ people dismiss the rumor … “Tiger with a black gal ??? … yeah, like THAT’s gonna happen”.
Those of you who bet that …
… I would hear from The Bob Kennel after he was mentioned in Mr Flywheel’s email … YOU WIN! I did indeed hear from “The Bob”.
TBK has been lurkingly reading my columns. He liked that one on old church hymns. Most of the others … not so much. When he’s not reading my columns TBK has been Writing Books …. FOUR in the past two years. YIKES! James Patterson, by comparison, only wrote three.
His four books’ purpose, per The Bob, is to alert his “many Republican friends” (??) to what a cancer Donald Trump is to “human decency”. Oh My!
“If You Like Reacher” … you’re sure to be spellbound by The Bob Kennel’s four book series of vicious rumors, innuendoes, and libelous slander pulled directly from CNN, MSNBC, The View and from TBK’s own quite toxic obsession.
I get asked a LOT about …
How Many certifiable WOKE LUNATICS are walking the streets and deserted shopping malls across America. My pat answer is:
“More than your worse nightmare can conceive” … but
“Fewer than the certified lunatics and “the media” want you to think there are”.
That is not intended to: Scare the Bejeebers out of you – OR – Reassure you that All Is Well and Sanity will resume momentarily.
I do not expect to see “National Sanity” again in my Lifetime. I do hope my grandchildren might do so but … “America” has taken on the aura of a traveling carnival sideshow with or without a Hoochie Coochie show.
God has a much more creative imagination that we do. Hey … He Is God! His Divine Plan may be something neither us nor the woke lunatics are counting on. I mean “Who saw The Flood coming?” … other than Noah, of course.
Hold Fast to the illusion that “Every college sports program “cheats” except YOURS” … and … “Every politician is “corrupt” except the ones YOU vote for”.
The lunatics, of course, are also holding fast to that illusion.
My best advice is to take up one solitary hobby. Be it “fishing” … “long walks” … or “standing on your back porch and yelling at clouds”. Make time to indulge in it every day.
Except for these insightful commentaries cut back “staring at your device” by at least 50% … 60% is better.
More BobLee Rimshots … HERE