May 9, 2022
NIL … Relax and Enjoy the Train Wreck
For decades, the two most oft-repeated “becauses” in any debate over financial remuneration for “student-athletes” were:
#1: His grandmother died and he did not have enough money to buy a bus ticket home for her funeral. OMG! That’s Awful!
#2: He can’t even afford a pizza with his friends on Saturday night. OMG!
Well, by golly … $300,000 and his very own Lamborghini has definitely solved those issues. Imagine tooling up to granny’s funeral in a freakin’ Lambo! Wonder how many busty big-bootied blond bimbos can fit in a Lambo? … and $300,000 can at least buy a partnership in his own Domino’s franchise.
Once it was universally agreed that the “marketable college education” 92% of Big Time FB / MBB players receive has been “a punchline” for years; there had to be some trade for their athletic skills. Enter Lambos and LOTS of Benjamins.
NOTE: This incredibly insightful commentary is about NIL … Not about “The Transfer Portal” although the two elements are usually joined together. Both of’em upset those of you locked into a “Chip Hilton” student-athlete paradigm from the 1940s.
I totally endorse “The T-Portal” so long as creeps like Bruce Pearl and Rick Pitino can hop-skip-jump anywhere they want to leaving mayhem and NCAA goon squads in their wake. Yeah, and Larry “Suitcase” Brown too.
Today’s message is … Do Not allow even one boneless wing getting cold bemoaning that NIL has ruined Big Time College Football. It has NOT.
IF you perceive College Football as nothing other than an exciting and entertaining way to spend a pleasant Saturday afternoon whether in a raucous stadium or in your home theater? THAT option is as viable today as it ever was.
Do you perceive College Football as some sort of convoluted morality play wherein Your Team (The Good Guys) vanquish Their Team (The quite Evil Guys)? If that IS the result it proves that both You and Where You Went To College are far superior to Them and Where They Went To College.
If your kicker’s buzzer-beater FG is short by inches … the resultant defeat, of course, means absolutely nothing. … If this is your perception, may God have mercy on your sick, sad soul.
Regardless … how much “their” ego-maniacal Fat Cats are anteing up to buy the services of a 4-star “phenom” as compared to how much “your” Fat Cats offered is well outside your scope of influence. Going on a fan message board to berate your Fat Cats for not being “fat” enough is about all you can do.
Obviously I don’t have the “skinny” on the discretionary buying power of anyone reading this but I’m doubting too many, if any, of you are members of your school’s “NIL collective”.
Before you do join a collective, just remember St Jude’s Children’s Hospital always needs funds for researching a cure for pediatric cancers. But hey, it is Your Money to spend as YOU choose.
Maybe cure a 5-year little boy’s brain cancer … OR … give a back-up 3-Star Left Guard $25K for pizzas, a 65″ flat-screen and a top-of-the-line leather bomber jacket but … Like I said … “It’s Your Money to Spend as You Choose”.
In lieu of actual $$$$, NIL collectives are always in need of in-kind donations. If you have a sorta skanky blond coed daughter with a Mandingo Fantasy you might provide her cellphone # and a recent sorta skanky pic to further entice those phenoms. Lambos and Benjamins are not all that phenoms fantasize about, ya know.
(Whoa, did BL really say that? Yep, I think he did. He’s right, of course, but won’t he get in trouble? … From Who? … Yeah, you’re right.)
Let’s give a shout-out to UNCCH’s “Coach Hubert” and his quite remarkable feat of keeping his Final Four starters OUT of The Portal. Remarkable Indeed. Wanna bet it took more than “free rolls at the Porthole” to pull that off?
If you see a fleet of Grady White yachts parked in the Dean Dome parking lot … or the names Bacot … Love … Black … Davis on lockers in the Quail Hollow CC Members-Only Locker Room … just smile and say Thank You to the Franklin Street Chapter of Fat Cats ‘R Us.
BUT BUT BobLee … isn’t all this NIL crap tied to worthy charities somehow?
If Kareem Phenom mentions #MealsOnWheels in his Tweets three times he gets $250,000? Then, sure, it’s all tied to worthy charities. LOLOLOL …
Anyone stoopid enough to believe THAT surely voted for Biden/Harris and believes an unborn child is just a kidney stone with a heartbeat. … Oh My!
I’m betting Bobby Purcell is very glad he is no longer responsible for convincing Wolfpack Fat Cats to ante up mega-$$$ to save Kevin Keatts very hot seat. YOWSA, thats gotta be a chore. Wonder who is backing Coach DD’s bidding war with Mack Is Back ??? Didn’t Wendell sell his hog empire to the ChiComms a few years ago?
Raise your hand if you actually expect The NCAA to straighten out this totally predictable helluva mess? … … I’m not seeing any raised hands.
NCAA’s Mark Emmert is as totally INeffective as 90% of Republican congressmen. That’s as insulting an apt comparison as I can think of.
Expect Emmert’s Eunchs to form an Ad Hoc Blue-Ribbon Committee to study how come Lincoln Riley’s Pacific Palisades Oceanside Mega Mega Manse needs five more bathrooms (11) than it has bedrooms (6) … and is 3X the size of Brian Kelly’s quite modest Baton Rouge McMansion.
Speaking of Head Coaches’ Mega Manses … Mario Cristobal’s down in Miami is already the envy of the local Drug Cartel community.
If you’re thinking the Lamborghini given last week to the Texas RB is unusual, you don’t recall the Pontiac Firebird that Texas A&M Fat Cats gave Eric Dickerson back in the early 80s … that Eric subsequently drove for four years around SMU. Oops…
Or howsabout the fancy red Cadillac that Dominque Wilkins’ daddy tooled around Little Washington in back in the 80s … everyone sure that Jimmy V had arranged that, until they realized Georgia’s colors are Black & RED … YOWSA!
From Firebird and Caddys in the 80’s to Lambos in ’22 … the price of “phenom poker” has risen like everything else.
Speakin’ of Miami … whattabout that slick-suit goomba heading up The U’s Collective. He’s not the same goomba that got The U in all sorts of trouble 20+ years ago. This is another slick-suit goomba.
If ANY program in America is ideally positioned to buy/sell phenoms it’s The U of Miami. UNLV might be a distant 2nd.
All the Dom P, Benjamins, Blow and Bimbos that the earlier goomba got busted for providing The U’s “student athletes”… is NOW PERFECTLY LEGAL. Ain’t THAT a Hoot. Lordy Lordy.
OK, almost all kidding aside. The NIL toothpaste is all very much outta the tube now. Please don’t sweat it. Just enjoy the entertainment value of the games. Yes, the likelihood of the games being “fixed” is greater now that ever before with casinos and OTBs being actively involved but so what?
When/If Your Team loses to Your Hated Rival on a last-second blown call by the crooked refs now you have a built-in excuse.
If those refs show up driving Lambos and smokin’ Cubans just look the other way.
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