Too Many Purple Cows … Aaarrgghh!

Purple Cows
April05/ 2022
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April 5, 2022

Too Many Purple Cows … AAarrggh!


I never saw a Purple Cow,
I never hope to see one;
But I can tell you, anyhow,
I’d rather see than be one.

OK, that childrens’ nursery rhyme doesn’t exactly fit today’s socio/cultural/sports dilemma but maybe I can tweak it to work.


I violated one of my Rules for Surviving In A World Gone MAD this past week … and I paid a terrible price.  It was totally my fault.  I shoulda known better!

If you have checked in here even sporadically over the past 20+ years, you might have gotten the impression that I LOATHE “board monkeys”. 

Those goggle-eyed, spittle-spewing human hairball excuses for “sports fans” that haunt any/every nook & cranny where “sports” is discussed. 

Imagine your kitchen at 3 AM is “a sports discussion” … you can’t sleep so you figure “one oreo in a glass of milk” would do the trick.  You go into the kitchen … flip on the light … and you see a yucky cockroach scurry across the floor.  YIKES!  No matter what pest control service you employ … you can NEVER totally eliminate cockroaches … or “board monkeys” … otherwise known as “purple cows” for today’s discussion.

I totally 110% avoid well-known cockroach / board monkey / purple cow hangouts like “message boards / partisan fan sites”… PackPride … InsideCarolina … Whatever Duke’s is … Pirate Boneyard … et al.   I also totally avoid CNN, MSNBC, CBS, ABC, NBC and WRAL too but lets not go there today. 

I would go to before I would visit a partisan sports fan site. … BUT …


I DO have a significant presence on Facebook.  I can’t save Western Civilization but my 4,800 “Facebook Friends” appreciate my daily attempts to slow down “America” going full-blown Thelma & Louise.

The past few weeks have had “America” totally focused … on Will Smith slapping WhatsHisName at The Oscars.  While everyone and his Cuzzin LeRoy were opinionizing on THAT…

… there was also, apparently, a Basketball Tournament going on.

I only watched the games involving Duke and/or UNC … and that Humdinger Women’s game between NCState and UCONN.  THAT one did not convert me to a Womans’ BB fan but it sure was a “THRILLA”.


OK … “Purple Cows” … the magnitude of March Madness had those aforementioned cockroaches scurrying all over cyberspace.  They left their usual “mamma’s basement” lair for more public forums. … like My Facbook.

This year’s March Madness had a special appeal to this immediate  geographic area.  I “get it”.  

BUT the amount of pure unfiltered toxic BS being spewed about it was Tsunamic … if not Pandemicy.

I try to fool myself that the retarded humanoids spewing such unadulterated CRAP are struggling thru puberty and just don’t know no better.  But that is not true. 

Waaaay too many of these goobers have made the turn on Life’s golf course… and have no excuse for such abject assineness.  That they also breed and/or vote is really depressing.

Yes, Coach K has indeed retired and his final few weeks did NOT go as he mighta scripted them.  DUH!  He is NOT a candidate for sainthood … nor will he grace Duke’s bench any more but – by golly …


Michael William Krzyzewski will FOREVER be an inoperable tumor in the ever-exploding heads of 10,000s of Franklin Street fans.  Maybe 100,000s of’em.


Waaay too many of those sad sick souls cannot tell you their children’s birthdays … but they have memorized 146 “crimes against nature” that “they say” Coach K has committed over the past 42 years.  

“My cousin’s neighbor’s dental hygienist heard that Coach K probably wears his wife’s underwear … and he mighta burned down an orphanage … pistol whipped a nun … chopped the head off of a bunny rabbit … and in 1994 he did not send Dean Smith a birthday card … NO!  Coach Kzrezskiwy is a veery bad person”.  – TommyTarHeel in Kannapolis


The handful of games I watched were incredible sports entertainment.  I had no “my team” in any of them.   Nobody in any of the games did anything really stoopid like have a BLM tattoo on their forehead.

OK, Ol’ Roy and his silly Fauci mask WAS pretty stoopid, but it was vintage Ol’ Roy.

Sure, I always hope for CHAOS but I also like it when they are just Really Good Games and these were.

The Carolina v Duke game may / may not have been The Greatest Game In The History of Games but it sure was A THRILLA. 

Likewise the Game After The Greatest Game In The History of Games vs Kansas was A THRILLA.

The decent semi-mature Tar Heel fans – and that is the vast majority of them – have every right to be darn proud of their players and their coach.  They did really really good!  AH ZIGGA ZOOMBA! …

When the world’s most useless sports bureaucracy – The NCAA – finally gets around to penalizing Kansas for whatever cheatin’ crap they did 2-3 years ago, will they have to forfeit last night’s game?  Then will UNC count that one along with that silly Helms World Championship thingy?  You KNOW they will.

Look, I know that at their most absurd and pathetic…

Tar Heel fans and their terminal obsession with Coach K are really no worse than Georgia and Auburn fans’ obsession with Nick Saban. 

And Ohio State / Michigan have their share of really sad sick souls … but none of those examples infested my Facebook these past several weeks.

As I have noted often in recent years … my life now is pretty much my own.  I can hang out with who I damn well please and do what I damn well want to do.  Other than those Purple Cow nitwits scurrying across my Facebook page these past few weeks … I can avoid them … and I do.

I’d rather avoid’em … than to “be one”.  YUCK!


Final Observations:  I have been VERY impressed with Hubert Davis.  He seems a first class / very likable fellow.  I believe Hubert is smart enough to know all that fan love he is getting now … can turn on him in a heartbeat.  Thats what “Purple Cows” do.

I like Tracy Wolfson – and Michelle Tafoya.  They are, IMO, the only sideline reporterettes whose back-up occupation choice was not to “open a chain of baton-twirling studios in disadvantaged neighbors and contribute to World Peace.”  Who says smart, attractive women have no business in sports?

More BobLeeSays … HERE


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