April 2, 2020
Local Destitute Newspaper BEGS for $$$
To no one’s real surprise… Raleigh’s Financially Destitute Newspaper – The News & Observer – is reduced to BEGGING its motley bunch of subscribers for more $$$ PLEASE.
In a pathetic scene straight out of Oliver Twist… N&O’s current Executive Editor Robyn Tomlin printed a DESPERATE PLEA on April 1 begging for “more shekels” … “more porridge” … “a piece of bread” … “some magic beans” … whatever you can spare … We’re Desperate!
HELP! We’re sinking. We don’t know what else to do but hope “you people” are gullible enough to …. etc etc.
Look, if we “downsize” any more we – Sara &Robyn – will have to make the coffee and answer the phone and all that yucky stuff peons are supposed to do.
.NOTE: Whats left of The N&O subscribers is of the notoriously “cheap” left-wing persuasion never prone to parting with its own $$$. Robyn will be better off begging Would-Be-Queen Nancy Pelosi to include The N&O in her next Stimulus Scam.
ANOTHER NOTE: Publisher Sara Glines and Robyn The Editor joined The N&O several years ago when parent company – McClatchy in Sacramento CA – realized that replacing expensive male executives with MUCH-less-expensive female executives would save them considerable salary $$$.
Let McClatchy’s Sr VP of Gender Diversity explains THAT New Millennium boardroom shenanigan.
Editor Robyn bases her impassioned BEG on the fact that for the past week or so her ever-so-caring-and benevolent newspaper generously lowered it’s digital “pay wall” – WOO HOO – to aid the community in coping with COVID-19 … reminding “said community” that…
- COVID-19 is probably “all Trump’s Fault”. We sure hope it is … and that
- NC’s Wonderful Governor Ray/Roy Cooper will be taking away many of your fundamental rights… but Ray/Roy “might” give some of’em back some day… but probably not… LOL.
“Lowering The N&O pay wall” costs the NOT-benevolent, destitute N&O absolutely nothing. It is like expecting your neighbors to “thank you” for leaving your Christmas lights up until New Years.
Robyn announced regrettable that “the pay wall” is being put back in place immediately “because Robyn says so”. Yawn.
That announcement meant absolutely nothing to any one except Eddie The Intern Nerd who has to perform the single keystroke to “do it”.
This Begging by The N&O follows an announcement several weeks ago by parent McClatchy that it is BANKRUPT and can no longer fund its Pension Fund. There are many more “former McClatchy employees” than there are “current McCatchy employees” by a factor of 32 to 1.
That further pissed off the angry mob of “former McClatchy employees” who were all told countless times over the past five years ….
“Don’t worry. We’ll all be fine. Those naive fools / “our subscribers” – can’t get along without our daily newspaper regardless how bad it is.”
What desperation moves The News & Observer makes are duplicated by its sister “McClatchy sinking ships” in Durham and in Charlotte. For some months “they” have simply printed one glorified high school newspaper in very large type and stick the names News & Observer or Herald-Sun or Charlotte Observer on the top of whichever stack is going where.
Since carpetbagger McClatchy became North Carolina primary publisher of highly partisan newspapers, its stated Editorial policy has been:
To Insult, Demean and Humiliate Anyone & Everyone who do not embrace our Radical Left-wing socio-cultural political views.
McClatchy’s newspapers have done exactly that… very effectively and aggressively for 20+ years.
Their whizbang research nerds neglected to inform “the accounting guys” that the Anyones & Everyones they would be insulting represented AT LEAST 50% of their target markets. That 50% of their local / regional markets aren’t even aware they are still in business … which they barely are… and don’t care if they shut down this week … next week … or whenever.
So… Why Would Anyone Bother With The News & Observer? The only reasons anyone could come up with are ..
- Obituaries … and
- Grocery coupons … and, of course
- THE BobKennel’s periodic LTTE screeds.
These community services can easily be provided on-line by clever entrepreneurs.
Industry analysts have pondered this inevitability for several years. Best guess is that the whole sad mess will be bought for $.10 on the $1.00 and all assets sold at public auction including…memorabilia such as a Barry Saunders “Cool Dude” Fedora… and Rob “RielleWho” Christensen’s Dan Rather – autographed trench coat… expected to attract as much as $10-12 if not more.
As to the ultimate future of the not-so Good Ship N&O… the only question left to be answered as it sinks beneath the stormy seas is What tune will the orchestra will play as it goes … glub … glub … glub.
It won’t be “Nearer My God To Thee”. That’s for sure.
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