Smokey & The Internet Legend

BobLee
March26/ 2020

BobLee logo

March 26, 2020

.

Smokey & The Internet Legend

###

Keep your foot hard on the pedal. Son, never mind them brakes.
Let it all hang out ’cause I got a run to make.
The boy is thirsty up in Wiscy and there’s beer in Panthertown.
And I’ll bring it back no matter what it takes.

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,
I’m gonna do what they say can’t be done.
I’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.
I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “BobLee” run.

.

Remember that funeral I went to in Kinston a few weeks ago.   … and all the Awesomely Nice Folks I am privileged to know?  One of those Awesomely Nice Folks is Ed Mc.   If there was – and there oughta be – an Awesomely Nice Guy Mount Rushmore… Ed Mc would have – not one but – TWO places on it.

Ed Mc and I had not seen one another in several years although he is a devoted reader of this column … like so many of you.  “Catching up” was the order of the day.

Ed has two sons of the mid-millennial persuasion.  Son#1 is in a secret bunker somewhere doing top-secret stuff for a top-secret guvmint alphabet agency.  Its Ed’s Son#2 – PMc that figures prominently in today’s adventure.

PMc was a walk-on during The Matt Doherty Era of UNC Basketball.  Determined to balance his curriculum vitae, he has – with his Dad – launched an entrepreneurial venture in Charlotte.

They have opened a brewery – Resident Culture Brewing Company – in South Uptown Charlotte. It’s doing quite well… at least until the current national unpleasantness.

What I know about Beer – Breweries – Craft Beer – and IPA could fit in a thimble with enough room left to fit in a leather-bound edition of “Plugs” Biden’s Greatest Gaffes – Vol 1.  I know Zilch about “Beer” … BUT … Son-in-law Danny up in Madison Wisconsin is a lay authority on the subject.

An ordained Presbyterian Minister who is “an authority on beer” may sound incongruous.  Couple that with Pastor Danny is 6’5″ / 230 in his clerical collar and – as a former Tight End for the Wheaton College Thunder – once took out two DBs in an awesome downfield block that is recorded in Thunder lore simply as “Danny’s Awesome Block”.

Resident Culture Brewing

Ed tells me all about PMc’s brewery.  I get home and text Danny …

“Yo Danny, I just learned that a lifelong dear friend of mine’s son owns a brewery in Charlotte called Resident Culture Brewing Company…”.

Thinking that was the end of the story with Danny’s overall admiration for moi ratcheting even higher… NOT SO FAST …  Within minutes Danny’s texts me back …

.

“WOW… That is one of the Top Breweries in the country.  Their beer is AWESOME.  We went there last year while in Charlotte for a wedding… VERY COOL!   …. The plot thickens.

.

I’m thinking… the Father of the Three Most Awesomest Grandchildren on Earth deserves a “Just Because” surprise … I’m gonna send him a case of Resident Culture’s Most Popular Beers.  Am I an Incredible Father-In-Law OR WHAT! … Ed Mc put me in touch with PMc …

“Sure”, said PMc  “We’ll take care of it.  Dad has told my brother and me plenty of stories about his good friend The Internet Legend” … 

Then Corona-mania hit.  Resident Culture Brewery has bigger concerns these days than Danny’s case of beer.  … But I Don’t.   

I decide to  -1- Drive down to Charlotte …  -2-  Have  lunch with SaidWhatMedia’s “Mob Lawyer” P. Coleman Buck (“PCB”)-3- Pick up the case of beer … and -4- Be back home before dark.  What a plan!

.

Waking up early Wed morning, I learn that Charlotte is going into FULL LOCK DOWNBUT not until Thursday AM … soooo I’m looking at…

.

A Beer Run to Charlotte…

with a Deadline to do it… or risk tangling with Smokey!

I gotta a long way to go… and a short time to get there

But I’ll bring it back no matter what it takes. 

Watch ol’ BobLee run.

It’s A For-Real Smokey & The Internet Legend

Sally Field

.

I wait til Blondie wakes up.  …

Me:  Do you still have your wedding dress?  …

Blondie: “Huh?” …

Me: “I’ll rent a Firebird from Enterprise.  You can be Sally Field (AKA “Frog”)… and we’ll have us a For-Real ADVENTURE.”  …

Blondie: “You’re crazy” …

Me: “It’s taken you 36 years to come to that conclusion?

Substituting a 16 y/o Lexus RX for the Firebird – With no Blondie in her wedding dress as “Frog” – No one to play Cletus / “Snowman”, “Fred The Dog” OR “Big or Little Enos”… The ADVENTURE commenced.

In honor of “JoCo Bob” Dixon, I stopped by Bojangles in Mebane to grab a coupla biscuits.  I told the staff at The Boj that “The Legend is making a beer run” … They all cheered and told me to keep my ears on and watch out for Smokey.

As I highballed past Salisbury it occurred – I bet Babs In Derm coulda been a terrific back-up as “Frog” in the wedding dress.

I pulled into toney Dilworth at 12:45…  Mrs PCB had prepared her special “Willie The Worm” Chili.  Me and PCB get to talking… and first thing ya know its 6:30 … and Resident Culture Brewery closes at 7:00.

I tear off thru toney Dilworth narrowly avoiding two Peruvian nannies… a Nepalese dog-walker… and some cranky old codger that was either Hugh McColl, Jim Bakker, or George Shinn.

I wheel into the RCBC parking lot with ten minutes to spare.  I hand the little gal my credit card and the pre-arranged password – Bermuda Shorts.   A butler in full livery emerges carrying the case of assorted Resident Culture favorites … loads’em in my back seat … and I haul buggy with the staff of Resident Culture yelling Go Legend Go as I speed down Central Avenue … I was Eastbound and Down… Loaded Up and Truckin.

Two hours and 22 minutes later I pull into BLSays HQ.  Blondie is on the phone consolin’ Kid who had a rough day with her family of five going stir-crazy in their 850 sq ft apartment on a frigid Wisconsin winter day.

Blondie: “Your Dad just got back from Charlotte with Danny’s case of beer…”

Kid: … “WHAT?  Mom, doesn’t Dad knows there’s a Global Pandemic and we’re in The End of Days?”

Blondie:  “He knows.  I tried to stop him but he just kept saying …”

.

“All of Life is Column Fodder and Show Prep”

.

Beer.

More BobLeeSays … HERE

.

BobLeeSays has been a continually functioning website since 1999… over 2100 commentaries.  BobLee is NOT (1) “an Intellectual” Nor (2) “a Journalist”.   He simply ponders the HowComes of Life.

Reader Comments are aggressively encouraged.  In over 20 years, only six have been zapped.

.

0 0 vote
Article Rating
BobLee
Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

16 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Dave H
Dave H
4 months ago

BL: you need to “trade” with the Reverend for a case of Spotted Cow from New Glarus in WI. Best liquid gold coming out of WI.

The Expatriate
The Expatriate
4 months ago

As a matter of curiosity, in this day and age of TSA and USPS restrictions on transporting/mailing liquids — not to mention other vicissitudes of today’s life — just how do you plan to get the beer to Pastor Danny? Is there a scheme afoot to justify another run, this time to Madison? As for your GHS ’65 notables, I, too, have a GHS (not the one in K-town) in my unremarkable resume, but it is followed by ’50. Others in my august group included a short-term-loan mogul, a king of the ready-made-and-wrapped-sandwich business, and a Pulitzer Prize winner. The… Read more »

Doug
Doug
4 months ago

You had just one job. STAY HOME!! You were right-on when you said, “No one has ever called Baby Boomers “The Greatest Generation” … and for a good reason,” You just self proved it. Your consolation prize is you’re now in the running for daddy-in-law of the month or something-or-another of the month for March 2020. Blondie gets final say.

Doug
Doug
4 months ago
Reply to  BobLee

Just saw a You Tube video by a MD talking about grocery store products and drive-thru restaurant containers and wrappers. Don’t watch it. I may have nightmares for the rest of my life.

Porgie
4 months ago

When I first saw the title, my thoughts were BL is doing an exposee on that former sports talk show host ‘Smokey’ who no longer has a gig to expound on his being a lawyer and the lovely and talented Maria. But no, it is a beer run. By the way, you could add my knowledge of the subject to your thimble and there still be space. I became the ‘designated driver’ in college before it became fashionable. Sorry the ‘Class of ’65’ will not have its get-together this summer, but the prudent thing to do.

TarSpartan
TarSpartan
4 months ago

Is it wrong to be slightly disappointed that you didn’t make the run all the way to Wisconsin? Alas, BLHQ to Charlotte and back is enough these days. Not to mention my definition of a “short drive” has changed since moving to Texas. Speaking of short, I’m not quite as short as Paul Williams, but I could fill in as “Little Enos” in a pinch. 😉

RowdyBlueTarHeeler
RowdyBlueTarHeeler
4 months ago

So noble of you, sir. Please keep us informed as this case of beer makes it way up north. Desperate times often call for desperate measures…. Heroes arise form the humble!

robedixon
robedixon
4 months ago

Well my life has been made I was mentioned by The Internet Legend in one of his posts. I think I will go celebrate with a bacon egg and cheese biscuit and some of that legendary tea from Bojangles.

16
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x