Jan 13, 2020
Silent Sam’s Revenge / “A Day of Infamy”
For 106 years, Silent Sam stood his solitary watch in UNC’s McCorkle Place. The noble sentry had three standing orders…
- Announce the passing of “virgin coeds”.
- Piss off anyone who gets pissed-off “at a statue”.
- Prevent a Clemson basketball team from winning in Chapel Hill.
For 106 years, through extremes of weather … periodic verbal assaults by roving gangs of obscenity-screaming unwashed anarchists … and visits by dozens of members of Clemson’s Mahaffey Family… that solitary sentry stood guard.
Sam’s musket never fired but had “a virgin coed” ever passed by in those 106 years, no one doubts “Sam” would have sounded the alarm.
A record number of 59 attacks by Clemson Tiger basketballers were all repelled successfully. … THEN “Sam” was forced to leave… albeit with a $2,500,000 “buy-out”.
NOTE: “Sam’s” $2.5M buy-out – courtesy of the much-maligned UNC Board of Governors – was considerably more than the one given to Sam’s arch-nemesis Chancellor “Chihuahua” Folt who departed UNCCH along with “Sam”.
At 6:45 AM Saturday last, yours truly posted a Tweet … “Beware Silent Sam’s Revenge”. By 9:30 it had gone viral. Clemson’s first visit to Chapel Hill in the Post Silent Sam Era was already creating anxiety among the Franklin Street Marching & Chowder Society. Even before I pointed out that “Sam” was no longer standing guard.
Throughout Saturday morning and early afternoon, random UNC board monkeys were running up and down Chapel Hill’s notorious “main drag” screaming …
BUT BUT BUT …COACH K FAKED HIS BACK SURGERY !!!
This was in reference to a 1995 surgical procedure performed (“allegedly” according to every Son & Daughter of The Old Well) on Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski during a season – 1994-95 – when his roster was less talented than usual. “Ungifted” to use Roy’s term.
The more unhinged among the UNC fan base are forever referencing K’s “alleged” 1995 surgical procedure wherever storm cloud gather o’er The Southern Part of Heaven. It’s known as The Yeah But... strategy.
On Saturday January 11, 2020 storm clouds blotted out the sun o’er the southern-most portion of the UNCCH campus… specifically over The Dean E. Smith Student Activity Center AKA The Holy of Holies.
There is no evidence whatsoever that (1) Jeffrey Epstein – or Vince Foster – actually committed suicide… OR … (2) that Coach K’s back surgery was not totally legitimate. Of course, it was. But when a Hated Rival Myth is repeated three/day for 24 years… a high number of easily-duped loonies can be easily duped.
It should be noted that UNC blind-loyalists who most emphatically proclaim Coach K’s surgery was bogus
… are the very same ones who emphatically proclaim that neither Saint Dean nor Ol Roy knew ANYTHING WHATSOEVER about The Greatest Athletic Academic Scandal in NCAA History that raged like a Malibu wildfire at UNC for two decades… at least. Just sayin.
ASIDE… Skipping ahead to Roy’s post-game press conference following Saturday’s UNTHINKABLE… there is an unconfirmed rumor that Roy handed his longtime press guy Steve Kirschner a hastily scribbled note …
“Find Pete Gaudet … I need him ASAP”.
Rather than a lengthy explanation, you either “get that” or you don’t. If you don’t “get it”, I bet you can’t spell Doherty or Guthridge correctly.
BTW… Matt Doherty’s name is coming up A LOT these days on Franklin Street. Always misspelled of course.
For The Record… following Pete’s never-fully-explained abrupt departure from Duke in the late 90s, he had a series of increasingly obscure basketball gigs. So obscure, they even involved “girls’ basketball” … WHOA!
Where Pete Gaudet is now is anybody’s guess. The same can be said for everyone in that Duke Hospital OR for K’s surgery in 1995. The anesthesiologist of record was “a D.B. Cooper” … uh oh!
Contrary to St. Dean’s legendary analogy… 8,000,000,000 Chinese were notified immediately late Saturday afternoon when The Smith Center OT clock read 00:00 and The Streak was Kaput! And all 8,000,000,000 “cared”.
How Roy’s “Ungifteds” blew a 10 pt lead in the last two minutes will be hashed and rehashed by every “I played 6th man on my Jr Hi team” area basketball analyst for at least 50 years.
Roy, as everyone knows by now, took the blame for not ordering a foul on the last Clemson shot in regulation. “The Greatest Mistake In My Life” or some such wildly exaggerated hyperbole, even for Roy. Of course Roy had no way of knowing that the final outcome was already determined … Silent Sam’s Revenge.
More unconfirmed hearsay … overheard from numerous weepin’ shell-shocked Tar Heel loyalists departing Dean’s Dome …
“So, when does Mack’s Spring Football practice begin? Ya think Sam Howell will win The Heisman?…”
Re: MANY rumors involving Ol’Roy’s Future… I have NOT spoken with Bubba, but I can not see any scenario that has Roy being frog-marched out of the bowels of The Dean Dome.
UNLESS… “The Further Misadventures of The Most Ungifteds” over the next six weeks drive Ol’ Roy to complete INSANITY and he goes stark-ravin’ CRACKERS on a live mic.
Should Bubba hire a platoon of Spec Op snipers with tranquilizer guns and tasers to be on-site any time Roy is within 30′ of a live mic or a rolling camera? Might not be a bad idea…
The baseball fans of Casey’s “Mudville” shared the pain with the disconsolate basketball fans of Roy’s Chapel Hill in these immortal words…
Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light;
Somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,
But there is no joy,,, on Franklin Street.
Have you ever heard of an author – Andy McDermott – and his series of Nina Wilde / Eddie Chase adventures? Think Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. I am currently binge-listening… on Book #9 of the twelve book series. GREAT STUFF… I’ll tell you more later.
More BobLeeSays … CLICK HERE.