The Plight of a Football Barabbas

Barabbas
BobLee
November07/ 2019

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Nov 7, 2018

 

The Plight of a Football Barabbas

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As College Football enters it’s annual … Down the Stretch They Come there are still champagne wishes and caviar dreams for a handful of programs and their Braggin’Rights-lusting fan mobs.

Down yonder in Dabo-ville there is temporary consternation that their UNDEFEATED Reigning National ChampioBarabbas Clemsonns are currently 5th among a Final Four.  Uh Oh! If that wasn’t enough…

Death Valley has attracted poachers from Tallahassee driving a Brinks truck full of Krugerrands and bearer bonds for Brent Venable and/or Jeff Scott. Uh Oh again.

That “#5 outta 4” status is temporary as either LSU or TeamNick will exit by Sunday AM… and either TheOSU or PaternoState will do so in two weeks. Alls the Dabo-ites gotta do is keep beating whoever they play… hopefully more convincingly than they did amid Kenan Jr’s lofty pines back in September.

It WILL help the Dabos to lay a Deacon-style whuppin’ on the beleaguered Wuffs this Saturday… followed by a Deacon-style whuppin’ on the Deacons next week.  Whoever thought “beating Wake Forest” would qualify as a much-needed “Quality Win” for Dabo??  Ain’t THAT a hoot.

That the ACC circa 2019 is Dabo & The 13 Dwarfs isn’t Dabo’s fault… BUT  ONE Oops in a cupcake schedule and its “POOF” for Clem’s “champagne wishes and…”.

IF, somehow, the Fighting Dabos are caught “looking ahead” to the Deacs and should fall to the beleaguered Wuffs – it COULD happen – the 2019 Season immediately becomes This Sucks for The Dabos.  Anything other than a Final Four is “Christmas In Shreveport” for The Dabo Dynasty.

Q: What the heck does any of this have to do with Barabbas?

A: Glad you asked, young Grasshopper… sit…

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First… Barabbas does have a “double b” in the middle.  In case you were wondering.  I have “faith” – pun intended – that most of you have heard of Barabbas even if you aren’t sure where.

That WHOOP you just heard was “Prince Albert” so excited because he knows this one. … NOTE: But PA did NOT know who Dismus was.  Neither did Pastor Danny.

“Barabbas” is the answer to the question – Who did the mob yell “Give Us ____!” when Pontius Pilate (another vaguely familiar name, right?) offered to pardon … Either Barabbas OR Jesus of Nazareth. Barabbas

I don’t have much of a Millennial or Muslim audience so I’m not going to waste time explaining “Jesus Who of Where”.

FWIW… Had that mob yelled – Give Us Jesus? – and Pilate done so … PP’s preference by the way … 2000 years of Human History would have been Radically Discombobulated… BIG TIME!  Not to worry… the mob asked for Barabbas and now we celebrate Easter, etc etc…

The way I am using “Barabbas” today is actually 180 degrees from the Biblical context.  In King James version… Barabbas was pardoned – ERGO, Jesus was crucified and … Mankind was given an out for all its past, present, future sins. … subject to ONE tiny caveat as described in John 3:16.

If you don’t know that one, dude, You gotta look it up.  IT will definitely be on The Final Exam.  In fact, it IS The Final Exam.

Barabbas HuxtableIn my context – “a Football Barabbas” is used as a, often temporary, alternative to firing a Head Coach.  Offensive and/or Defensive Coordinators are Football Barabbas’.

As in Howsablout I fire Dave “Barabbas” Huxtable and we keep Dave Doeren… at least for now… OK?   The buy-outs on Coordinators is chump change even if there is such a thing.

A Power5 AD facing the unpardonable inevitability of not being “bowl eligible” HAS to stick a head on a pike… or it could be His Head on a pike.  Coordinators’ heads and Head Coachs’ heads are preferable to ones own head to a Power5 AD… even to Bubba or Boo.

Do you realize how Next to Freakin’ IMPOSSIBLE it is to NOT Be “Bowl Eligible” these days?  It’s the equivalent of telling a 4th grader… “You get promoted to the 5th grade IF you can spell C-A-T… and here’s The “C” and the “A” …!”

For those dozen or so Major College Football programs – out of 130 or so – that actually fall short of bowl eligibility each year… There HAS to be a human sacrifice.

  • Aztecs and Incas made human sacrifices for “a good corn crop”.
  • Druids made human sacrifices instead of joining the EU.
  • Football Juggernaut Wannabees make human sacrifices because their delusional fan bases go on Twitter and make obscene empty threats in ALLCAPS.

The more humanity evolves the more it stays the same … sigh.

NOTE:  Yes, I know all about “Chihuahua” and her latest SHE DID WHAT exploits out at USC.  Later…

I have never met Dave Huxtable… either before “the scruffy homeless guy persona” when he became Persona Non Grata on Burly John Bunting’s UNC staff 15 years ago … or WITH “the scruffy homeless guy persona” as Dave Doeren’s first shield before his seat gets really hot.

I never met Smilin’ John Tenuta either.  Or Bud Foster.  To my knowledge I’ve never met a Defensive Coordinator … or a Get Back Coach for that matter.   I assume all of’em are Quite Fine Fellows although some not as much so as others… as is the case in any profession.

Dave Huxtable has been on DD’s staff from Year One I think.  7-8 years is a Lifetime for a DC NOT named Bud Foster.  If “Boo gotta do what Boo gotta do” to appease the blood lust of the psycho faction of WuffNation… so be it.

When your career depends on a bunch of semi-literate 18-19 y/o zigging when they shoulda zagged, one learns not to “buy green bananas”.  Still beats the hell outta being a computer programmer I’d think.

IF SO… The Huxtable Family will move on as is the Way of a Coordinator.  There are 146 D-Coordinators for 132 gigs in D-1 College Football.  They just keep shuffling the deck.

Kinda like the 10-12 out-of-work  place kickers for those 30 or so NFL kicker gigs.  Make sure every NFL personnel guy has your cell # and keep your phone handy especially on Mondays.  “Monday” is the day most NFL teams fire their kicker and get a new one.  Did you know that?BUT WAIT

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Are you a Jason Statham fan?  Jason is to this decade what Stephen Segal was to an earlier decade.  Blondie and I are big Jason Statham movie fans.  I will always be a devoted Chuck Norris fan.  I make no apologies and won’t think less of you if you’re not… OK, maybe a little bit. Anyhow… Jason Statham

I recently found – IMO – THE BEST Jason Statham movie – WILD CARD.  I don’t count the Expendables series because those are All Star Reunions for every Action Star of the past 50 years.

In WILD CARD on Amazon Prime Jason plays “Nick Wild”, a bodyguard / security consultant in Las Vegas.  Of the 83 minutes, easily 60 minutes is Jason wiping out dozens of really big / really bad guys… 6-8 at a time.  Everyone in Vegas knows “Nick Wild doesn’t carry a gun”… he wipes out one mob mega-thug with a freakin’ credit card… and others with whatever appliance is available.  No sex, just LOTS of blood and gore.

A BobLee 4.5 Stars for WILD CARD.

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More BobLeeSays – HERE

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BobLee

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Queen City
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Queen City

In CFB there are probably ten programs built for long term success along with an occasional run at a National Championship. There is not a nickels difference in the remaining bunch and they all go through peaks and valleys. If you have a good QB your chances to succeed are elevated. A bad or young QB and your toast. Wake and State do not fall into the top ten categories but their current state at QB is the reason for their current record.

former96heel
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former96heel

Has the AD ever tried to shield himself with a BK like campaign or lecture series on the virtuosity of the HC? Whatever the choice, he certainly knows he has one sure backer.
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Every year, I’m more convinced the Wake HC job may be the best in the Power 5. You get to redshirt and grow your kids. Even with a year like this, backers have to understand that expectations can’t be unrealistic. As hard a job as that is, Wake has to have a larger portion of fun than everywhere else..especially UNC and State, with the unreasonable expectations.

Deacon
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Deacon

watching the Pack team send so many to the NFL over the past 3 years and not have that caliber replacements coming along indicated a down turn in performance…especially at QB & D line. Add a few injuries and here they are…if the mob can be held at bay, DD and crew deserve a year to regroup…the issue is recruiting….rumors are M Brown is taking over the recruiting prizes in NC and adjacent states….so the best are not heading to Raleigh. That will be his Waterloo.

Fayettewuf
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Fayettewuf

You lost me on this one. So Huxable is Barabbas and Doeren is a Christ figure? Who is Dismus, an offensive coordinator? What about the non-penitent thief, Gestus? Strength and Conditioning coach? Boo is Pontius Pilate?
Mack Brown is the one that has been resurrected.

Oldwuf Vet
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Oldwuf Vet

I think it may take both Coach Hux and the co-OC’s heads on a stick to calm the mob in West Raleigh. I’m pretty sure Frau Yow’s contract sweetener after DD was courted by the Rocky Top clan wasn’t very popular when it happened. Of course every wolf is second guessing it now. DD’s staff losses in the off season were the root of this season’s problems. All part of the game, sleeping giant and all….

Doug
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Doug

Since most of the football board monkey noise comes out of west Raleigh and to a lesser degree Orange County, who’da thunk Wake Forest would be THE playa in all this? That the very pissed-off Fighting Dabo’s arrive at CFS with ONLY a #5 ranking has some pundits thinking that conditions maybe ripe for the Tigers to deliver a perfect storm ass whuppin on the beleaguered Wuffies. BTW when’s the last time ” caught looking ahead to the Deacons” in football has ever been used in print. I doubt if it was ever printed, even during the Deacon’s last Orange… Read more »