Like Shane … BobLee Bids Adios and ….
Relax buddies & babes … I am NOT leaving You. I’d NEVER do that. They’ll drag me off of this keyboard toe-tagged in a body bag, But, alas, I Have departed from a St Louis Cardinals Fan Site. … like “Shane” riding off into history. Not because “The Cards” are mired in mediocrity this season – they are – but because … well, its kinda a hair-raising adventure … BUT FIRST
Q: What are your primary considerations when “buying a watch”? There is no Right/Wrong answer.
Some folks “buy a watch” as jewelry. Some folks “buy a watch” as an investment. Me? I “buy a watch” to be able to glance down at my wrist (left one in my case) and quickly see WHAT TIME IT IS…
I vacillate between Digital and Analogue. I currently own six watches. Two are Digital. Two of the four Analogues are commemorative gifts from various events over the last half century or so. The “most expensive” watch I own was, I think, $35 at a kiosk in a mall.
I recently purchased one for $12.50 via Amazon leaving me aplenty to splurge on a $10 velcro band for a total “investment” of $22.50. Well within my “watch budget”. If you saw it you’d swear it was “at least a $40 watch”. I expect about two years of reliable service from it.
Remembering the admonition of John Cameron Swayze (no kin to Patrick of Road House fame that I am aware of) I lean towards Timex because they “take a lickin and keep on tickin’ …”. A motto I try to live by.
I require my watches to have twelve ACTUAL NUMBERS not little dots. If they “light up” that’s nice. A “date” window is OK too but not required. I do NOT need a heart monitor or knowing the time in Jakarta or “how far away lightning is” or what time “Zero Dark 30” is. If I have to stare at a watch longer than 2.7 seconds to determine the time, I bought the wrong watch.
Yes, I once purchased a Rolex knock-off from a street vendor on 5th Ave in NYC. Hasn’t EVERYONE done that? He tried to sell me a Kate Spade knock-off purse but I had no need for that.
OK… let’s move along to the thrilling adventures of …. BobLee & the so-called BFIBs – Best Fans In Baseball.
BUT WAIT… TWO Great American Actors passed away in the past 24 hours. …. Billy Drago and Max Wright. Mrs “Dog The Bounty Hunter” also died but she was not “great” although her name was kinda unique.
Billy Drago was a good friend of Chuck Norris and appeared in several Chuck Classics. Most notably as “Ramon Cota” the Very Evil Colombian Drug Lord in Delta Force II. Billy / “Ramon” death scene in DFII is Unforgettable. All the Chuck Classics are available on Amazon Prime. Rest In Peace – Billy Drago.
Max Wright played “Willie Tanner” (“the father”) in ALF. Max was 74. He spent the past 35 years being asked … “Was there a midget in the ALF suit or was that a for-real space alien?” 98.8% of the people asking Max that were registered Democrats in case you were wondering… Bad BobLee Bad Bad Boy. … Ann Schedeen played “Mrs Tanner” in ALF. A younger BobLee had a crush on her… Ann had kinda of a Markie Post-look.
I would tell you the name of The St Louis Cardinals fan site … EXCEPT … when I signed off last night they were gathering pitchforks, torches and “a rope” and the phrase Lets GET that smart alecky sumbitch was being posted A LOT. If they track me here it could get “hairy”.
I’ve posted there for almost two years at the invite of John The Site Owner who is a very nice guy and has Red Schoendinst’s autograph. John “has a dream” to create a Lake Woebegone Fan Site… where all the men are strong, all the women are pretty and all the children wear St Louis Cardinals t-shirts…
There were no real issues until the past 48 hours when “things escalated”.
Yeah … they’re Board Monkeys and lets face it … my history with Board Monkeys ain’t too good… DUH!
The Facebook Fan Site has over 8,000 members but only around 50 or so are daily contributors. The other 7950 are confined to “institutions” with limited access to technology… but lots of tapioca pudding and Jell-O. Of the “posting 50” there are a dozen you might consider sitting beside on a bus. FWIW…
I have no clue of the political persuasion of any of’em. But if Ozzie Smith ran for any office they would vote for him en masse.
They ALL HATE the Cardinals Owner (a “rich old white guy”) and the General Manager (“because he wears a bow-tie”). Thats not unusual. At any one time 27 out of 30 MLB fan bases HATE their Owner and General Manager. Not unlike 97.2% of college fan bases that HATE their AD.
The Minnesota Twins are THE hottest team in MLB in 2019, not named “Bob Kennel’s Dodgers”. I asked if anyone knew who the Twins Owner or GM was. Only 3 out of 8,000 even knew there is a team called the Minnesota Twins. They tend to be “Cardinals-centric” … except for The Hated Cubs of course. I mean Who HATES Ernie Banks? I know 8,000 Cardinals fan who do… YIKES!
Did I mention most of these folks are from places with a lot more meth labs than Starbucks?
Ever heard of New Madrid, Missouri (pronounced Mad-dread… not like the city in Spain)? It’s the epicenter of the Midwest’s version of The San Andreas Fault. They have an annual “This Could Be The Big One” Festival every summer. I encountered one of their city officials. It didn’t go well … at all.
Most of The Angry 8,000 currently HATE a Cardinals player named Matt Carpenter because he makes $10,000,000 and can’t hit The Mendoza Line… .200. … and wears eye-black and no batting gloves. “MCarp” has been maligned for all but six weeks of the past two seasons. He caught fire late July for six weeks like a blazing comet but burned out. While awaiting his annual 6 – weeks hitting spree… the Best Fans In Baseball malign him unmercifully.
Everything I know about Matt is that he is a wonderful son, father, husband, teammate, neighbor and charitable community member.
BUT…. I dared to “suggest” that MCarp “might”, at 33, be in the declining skill cycle of his career. The slightest dimming of vision – hand-eye coordination – bat speed can drastically affect success against “big league” pitching. HOW DARE I !!!
“The New Madrid Guy” was the first to attack… he quoted all sorts of Deep Analytics to refute my “suggestion” and doing so with a teeth-baring vengeance. New Madrid Guy is also an “Administrator” of the to-remain-unnamed fan site.
Fan Site Administrators have DELETE Power over great unwashed posters. Fan Site Administrators with DELETE power are like 2-year olds with a magic marker with the top off. No good results from either. Imagine HOA board members from Hell!
When I referred to him as “a Site Nazi” any chance at a reconciliation was shot.
No sooner had New Madrid Guy retreated than “Jerry The Administrator” appeared out of the Internet ether. “Jerry’s” profile says “… likes motorcycles and bow hunting wild pigs.” Uh Oh.
“Jerry” barked that I needed to “read the rules”. I said I had done so and which rule was he thinking I had violated? He said he wasn’t sure … because he had not read what I had posted. He said… “I don’t need to read the posts because I’ve “dealt with your kind before”. I have a “my kind”. Then he added “when I get back on Admin duty, you better watch out…”.
Okey Dokey … I knew how this was destined to end but what the heck… lets play it out.
Up pops Bradley The Backward Ballcap Guy. He flat out called my suggesting Matt Carpenter might have deteriorating skills to be “a form of Hate Speech” and should not be tolerated. Bradley and I jousted 2-3 times until his responses became disjointed and unintelligible… plus it was nearing 11:30 PM.
I told Bradley I was “shutting down” so he could get in the last salvo. In social media jousting “getting in the last salvo” means YOU WIN. That has always been a universal rule of cyber jousting.
This morning I brought Blondie up to date.
“Does this mean one of those nutjobs might show up on our front porch?” she asked.
NOT the first time Blondie has expressed that concern over the 20 years I’ve been doing “this”.
“Not likely” I assured her. “They know I live in North Carolina but only a handful know where that is… and I’m sure they won’t tell the rest.”
“Are you done with that foolishness?” …
“Yeah, I think so. I got a column out of it which was the only reason to do it.”
“Good… I ordered doughnuts. They’ll be here at 8:00 AM” …. and THEY WERE.