Harry The Hammer & The Chihuahua That Launched 1,000 ships and…

BobLee
March25/ 2019

 

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Harry The Hammer & The Chihuahua That Launched 1,000 Ships

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Last week was a perfect example of me hesitating to go with one Hoot of a Story… and before I knew it there were Two Hoots… then Three Hoots … then … … everywhere I turned there were Hoots.

The Muse of Hoots turned on a firehose of Hoots and commanded me to drink from it … .  Alls I can do now is try to recall the top 2-3 Hoots…

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“Harry The Hammer” Smith tells ECU Chancellor Cecil P. Staton:

“G-Vegas ain’t big enuff fer both of us… and it’s My Town.  So GIT!”

In a perfect world I might say “Guess what those rascals on the UNC Board of Governors have done NOW?” maybe once/year. But we are blessed with a UNC BOG that is the Herpes of Bureaucracies… it flares up more often that Hawaii’s Mauna Loa volcano.

Surely you recall former UNC BOG ChairSquirrel John “Trainwreck” Fennebresque from just a few years ago. “Trainwreck” tripped and fell more often that Rob Petrie (Dick Van Dyke) did over that ottoman. “Trainwreck’s” executive dexterity made Gerald Ford look like a Bolshoi ballerina.  …There was never a one-car funeral that “Trainwreck” could not screw up.

Guys who do what I do – chronicle Societal Absurdities and Them what Perpetrate’em – are maybe blessed with one “Trainwreck” Fennebresque in a lifetime. I had “Trainwreck” and now I got “Harry The Hammer” Smith sitting exactly where “Trainwreck” once sat.BOG Chair

Maybe it’s “that chair” at the head of the BOG infamous U-shaped conference table? Does it need a WARNING label? Beware All Who Sit Here… You Will Develop Executive Behavior Akin To Benito Mussolini… (and Benito’s life did not end well.) … Anyhoo…

Last week “Harry The Hammer” (HTH) FIRED ECU Chancellor Cecil P. Staton. Whether or not HTH had the authority to do so is irrelevant. HTH says he does… so there.

By all accounts Cecil P. Staton was a nice guy and a quite competent Chancellor.  Sure, he failed to bring College Football Glory to Dowdy-Ficklin… unless “beating UNC-CH like a rented mule” is one’s singular definition of “glory”. “Football Glory” is pretty much all that some / many / a lot of ECU folks care about so HTH running Cecil outta town was OK with them… IF HTH hires Saban, Belichek, or Dabo to replace him… of course.

Apparently HTH has REALLY disliked Cecil for quite a while for Lord Knows Why… including threatening ECU Trustees that if “they” dared to support Cecil P. Staton… bad stuff might happen to them.

NOTE: Prospective BOG Chairmen listing The Godfather as their favorite movie should be avoided when possible.

HTH had Interim UNC President Bill Roper place the horses’ head in Cecil’s bed… and that was that. Until BOG board member – Steve Long – sent a “blistering epistle” to anyone who cared that “Harry The Hammer” had gone rogue and … well “gone rogue” pretty well says it all.

Here is Steve Long’s blistering epistle in case you think I’m making this stuff up …. LINK.

Regional media including the ever-floundering News & Observer and “who went to rehab this week” WRAL-TV5, of course, pounced on the UNC BOG and HTH with their usual knee-jerk vengeance. They would do that even if a normal person was “in charge” but especially with ‘a loose nuke” like Harry rampaging across the DownEast countryside.

One of my multiple UNC BOG “inside sources” tells me “Cecil P. Staton probably needed to go”… but Cecil’s departure coulda been achieved without the media carnage of a Harry The Hammer Rampage… but what’s the fun in that.

Meanwhile on a campus far far away… another OMG HOOT was abrewin’…

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Theres More

NOTE: The Univ of Southern California loyalists are known as “Trojans”… (after the legendary City of Troy not the condoms). Since “Troy” and its Trojans were defeated in the only historical note 99% of people know… that’s like naming your sports teams “Custer’s 7th Cavalry” … OUCH!)

Sooo, when you think of Troy / Trojans you think of “Helen” who was married to Greek King Agamemnon’s brother Menelaus but was whisked away by Troy’s King Priam’s randy son Paris which precipitated The Trojan War … “Greeks bearing gifts”… “Achilles Heel” … et al.

All the above is a set-up to… with due respect to Homer… and to Helen.

Is THIS…

The Chihuahua that Launched 1,000 ships and Burned the Topless Towers of Ilian.

Carol Folt

 

Yes, indeedy… Carol “Chihuahua” Folt – the first of Two UNC System Chancellors Abruptly FIRED by “Harry The Hammer” Smith within a 60-day period – has bobbed to the surface 2,205 miles away in sunny scandal-ridden Los Angeles.

The Diminutive Former Dartmouthian is now – as you all have heard – the new President of The University of Southern California… former alma mater of “Olivia Jade” daughter of “Aunt Becky” and “Mossimo”. … and also of Reggie Bush and OJ.

USC officials announced that “Chihuahua” was the unanimous choice from over 100 other candidates. Keep that in context… Los Angelians have unanimously selected Maxine Waters and Adam Schiff to US Congress for 24 and 18 years respectively. … just sayin…

The USC press release further noted…. What Chihuahua offered that her 99 unworthy competitors could not match was “she has experience dealing with scandals”. No argument there… the USC announcement proceeded to list the litany of scandals that plagued UNC during her reign. Including, of course, TGU – THE GREATEST Athletic-Academic Eligibility Scandal in NCAA History.

NO, I was NOT contacted as part of USC’s not very wide-ranging due diligence on Madama Folt.  But, you probably figured that, huh?

I wasn’t there of course, but it is rumored Madame Folt locked down her new gig by bringing forth a Muriel Cigar box full of multi-colored Causal Lapel Ribbons… and proclaiming..

“I’m locked & loaded for whatever silly stoopid crap that might pop up…”Tommy Trojan

All in Favor Say Aye… and she had nailed it.

It must be noted… USC President Chihuahua will be dealing with yet another statue of an Old White Guy brandishing a weapon – Tommy Trojan.

Will she repeat her strategy of a Midnight Removal of “Tommy”… or, as she did in Chapel Hill, simply prance about grinning like an opossum for the next 36 months proclaiming… “I am just tickled pink to be here, by golly…”

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2,000+ More BobLeeSays Columns … LINK

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BobLee

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captflee
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captflee

Seeing the eye watering level of corruption the gal presided over in the flagship U of a state full of Babdists, the sky’s the limit for her out in LALALand. Bet the particularly vibrant folk recently arrived from way, way back east, your Persians, Armenians, whatnot, can and will teach her a new trick or two. I mean, it’s not like there was ever the slightest hint of past issues with LA college hoops in the past, right, Mr. Gilbert?

Former96Heel
Guest
Former96Heel

Cronyism, an age old sport that may be the only thing both parties agree on. Not in public of course, only in action.

Big Al
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Big Al

Read your column religiously; never post. I try to remain open-minded on all subjects and my knowledge on the Staton-Smith debacle is rather limited. However, I think it bears mentioning that the problem between these two seems to be related to a real estate deal that Harry was working on. He (an possibly other investors) were looking at purchasing a very large apartment complex in Greenville. This complex was a very upscale and highly sought after location for students at ECU. For some reason, possibly due to more and newer complexes much closer to campus, this complex went down-hill fast.… Read more »

Doug Grimes
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Doug Grimes

FWIW on Staton’s credentials. I’m sure there are others in similar positions with more and some less qualified than Dr Staton… Bachelor of Arts from Furman University, a Master of Divinity with Languages and Master of Theology from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in Wake Forest, and the Doctor of Philosophy degree from the University of Oxford in England.

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

I cast my one and only distinguished VOTE (not Present like a BUNCH of You Know What Party they represent – PRESENT – did today)…..for
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Chanc ChiChi.
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I can’t spell Chihuahoolahoop or whatever the name of the short haired, big mouthed, ill tempered…..and the list goes on….Breed.
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SO Chanc ChiChi gets my vote….

Former96Heel
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Former96Heel

You know Chanc Chichi is an academic when she missed the opportunity to make soooo much more money in the private sector. She could easily have opened a consulting shop to help usher universities through their trials and tribulations. Specializing in athletic/academic indiscretions with a focus on racial harmony. She could have been on retainer from pretty much all the Power 5. I am certain the thought never crossed the mind though. That Chancellor’s House must be something else out there. Why tie yourself to one dumpster fire when you could be neck deep in cash from 200 raging fires… Read more »

Keith Spence
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Keith Spence

“Since “Troy” and its Trojans were defeated in the only historical note 99% of people know… that’s like naming your sports teams “Custer’s 7th Cavalry” … OUCH!)”

That has to be one of the greatest lines ever written. Had never considered the nickname in that light. Thanks for brightening my day!

TarSpartan
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TarSpartan

I note that George Lucas is another famous USC alum. Any resemblance between a modern college campus and the Star Wars Cantina scene is strictly coincidental.

DM Carpenter
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DM Carpenter

Executive behaviour akin to Il Duce isn’t that bad, relatively. Wait until it reaches “Pepin the Short”, or President for Life Big Daddy Doctor Idi Amin Dada level.

CBC.Insider
Guest
CBC.Insider

No more calls… We have our Winner! …. “… Who’s in Rehab This Week” WRALTV5″ …. OMG!
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To those of us “in the know” THAT is a Winner!

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

Sort of piling on to what Doug started…. . I noted that the infamous Cecil P. Staton was “listed” as a former (esteemed of course) GA Legislator and Entrepreneur. I did NOT note, in his resume, that he had ANY EARNED Titles such as MS, PhD, LLP, LLC or the Top ONE….DDF (Designated Detainee & Felon). SO, I might wonder with your extensive resources, WHO hired the idiot with NO credentials to run ECU? Was Cecil in charge or “Parties” for his Fraternity? Was he voted “Most likely to succeed in BlackFace”? WHAT were his outstanding qualities….other than he was… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

Was “probably needed to go” expanded upon by the inside source. Carol brings a wealth of experience and OJT to the USC role.