‘Tis The Season. .Loonie Fans are Prowlin’ and Growlin’

Angry Mob
BobLee
November13/ 2018

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‘Tis The Season… Lunatic Fans are Growlin’ and Prowlin’

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College Football 2018 heads into the home stretch.  In its wake are the discarded champagne wishes and caviar dreams of a scant two months ago.

Ahhh Pre-Season… the annual rebirthing of the idyllic hopes and dreams of kickoffs yet to be kicked… foes yet to be vanquished… hated rivals waiting to be chided… sleeping giants primed to rise from their eternal slumber.  Surely THIS will be OUR YEAR. … and ThenSPLATT as champagne turns to vinegar… caviar dreams to nightmares… Reality Bites. Here We Gp Again!

As in the words of little Hamchuck in Green Berets when he is told by Col. Kirby that his Petersan has been killed…

Col.Kirby:  Son, you knew this might happen… Hamchuck

Hamchuck:  But… but I didn’t want it too.

What overly caffeinated fan waving his foam finger or his cardboard D -Fence cannot identify with Hamchuck… when, yea verily

This has NOT Been Our Year… well, at least not by our quite unrealistic expectations.

Just another season to be discarded on the ever-growing pile of “Might Have-Beens”.

It is mid-November and your team is still not “bowl eligible”; or, horror of horrors, is mathematically eliminated from even the glory(?) of Christmas in Shreveport.   But… but I didn’t want it too.”

What to do… What to do ???

You go out to your tool shed and… (1) You pull out that same pitchfork you seem to pull out each season about this time.  (2) You wrap some rags around a stick and pour some lighter fluid on it.  So armed with your pitchfork and torch, you…

Find a cyber mob of like-(no) minds with little or nothing to live for other than existing vicariously thru the success of others.

If, invariably, that choice of others fails to meet your lofty definition of successful then… You vent your wrath and disappointment towards anyone and everyone connected with your chosen “others” who dared to let you down.  Thereby reaffirming to whatever passes for family, friends, and curious observers why they all laugh at you.  You do all this rompin’ and stompin’ pretty much every year as long as anyone can recall.

So many pitchforks… so many torches… and all for WHAT?

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Over in Chapel Hill... Despite a shiny new $32,000,000 Indoor Practice Facility AND 40,000 seatbacks AND cupholders; the Fighting Fedorians are on schedule to be even more forlorn than last year.  Oh My!  If, by early October. the phrase “injury-plagued” is already being used AGAIN you know “bowl eligible” does not appear a worthwhile achievable goal AGAIN.

That the question When is Midnight With Roy?  was asked in early September following The Dowdy-Finley Massacre; ya kinda knew any prospect of a Happy Autumn on Franklin Street was not to be.

When the question What’s his buy-out? is first uttered… easily disgruntled loonies begin scrounging thru their sheds for those pitchforks and oily rags.  The first rounds of nasty comments appear on rabid fan sites.

That the Buy-Out question was being asked by angry villagers with very short-arms and no intention whatsoever of donating to said buy-out… is traditional.  If they had either achieved or inherited enough wherewithall to donate to the buy-out, they likely have lives full enough to not be obsessed by the lack of success of a football team.

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Twenty-five miles to the East… Reality did not Bite until late October allowing for 6-8 weeks of Maybe This Year… Maybe Maybe?.  Then “Lucy”- AKA Dabo – yanked the football away once again… An ill-fated trip to wherever Syracuse is; and then a freakin’ rookie QB from freakin’ Wake Forest really pissed in the Carter-Finley punchbowl.

It should be encouraging to Wolfpack loyalists that a 9-3 season is now judged “underachieving” but such is not the mindset of a pitchfork & torcher.  At least it was mid-November before anyone asked “What’s that moron Doeren’s buy-out?”  Again, with no intention of contributing to whatever it is.

That “Moron Doeren” and his band of 9-3 (maybe) underachievers accompanied by a 1,000 or so mega-loyal Carter-ites WILL go abowlin’ to somewhere that The Wolfpack Club ticket-sellers will try to make sound exotic.

“Moron Doeren” will get his bonus – enough for a coupla jet skis for Lake Gaston – and the players will get some tacky bowl swag… which is more than anyone 25 miles to the West will be getting.

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Meanwhile twixt Raleigh and Chapel Hill at The Wally in The Gothic Rockpile named for the notorious robber baron Dukes… at least one flaming nitwit “has had it with Cutcliffe”.   A 3rd consecutive thumping over The Most-Hated Rival was not a convincing ENOUGH Thumping.

That one flaming nitwit wants a coach that can “take Duke Football to the next level”.  And we all thought Crystal Mangum, or Mikey Nifong, was the stoopidest human in Derm!

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Up in Beamersburg VA, everyone named Fuente or anything close to that is posting signs on their property saying WE ARE NOT HIM.  Around Blacksburg, Bud Foster has been almost Dean Smithian as a sainted figure – THE Defensive Guru.  No more…

Be 4-5 in mid November giving up 49 – 45 – 49 – 31 – 52 points in those five losses and one of those “49s” was against Old Dominion and one’s status as a Sainted Guru gets tarnished really quick.

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Prodigal Son Marc Richt ain’t so beloved in Coral Gables any more.   Cries of “Bring Back Larry Coker” are being bellowed. Larry Coker ?

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In Tallyhassy… Willie Whatshisname has gone into WITSEC.  I bet Jimbo’s ex-wife – Candi – is hiding Willie in her basement along with her cabana boy, her personal trainer and her Life Coach.

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And up in Louisville, Cardinals fans are finally joining the rest of America in a visceral dislike of Bobby Pitrino.  His buy-out is akin to the GNP of Guatemala and Papa John is not around to pay it any more.

BUT WAIT… Louisville has just FIRED the ruddy-faced sumbitch … LINK

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And so it goes… ‘Tis the Season for Lunatic Fans to be agrowlin’ and aprowlin’… and everyone of them crazy SOBs can Vote… and can Breed…

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Q:  BobLee, BobLee… What about ECU?

A:  I understand they still have really purty coeds..

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More

ALERT:  The End could be near!  I am sorta kinda taking the advice of the notorious Bre’r Kennel.  …. Noooooo…End Is Near

Look, it’s been a rough week for Ol’ BK – at least the Thursday night part of it.   I said “sorta kinda”.

I checked with our resident Theologian – Prince Albert – who has confirmed that BobLee takes advice from Kennel is indeed in Revelation right after “The rivers will run red with blood and pigs will fly”.

Henceforth you will not see OVERT political commentary on THIS PAGE.  I qualify “overt” because it is impossible in 2018 America to combine a subject with a predicate that does not identify one’s ideology of choice.

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NOTE:  I recently had a NRA-hating, Beto O’Rourke Lovin’, Trump-Hater from West Texas ask me to use my prominence as a highly-respected compu-media celebrity to “unite rather than to divide America”.   IOW, I should be less-partisan.

“…highly-respected Compu-media celebrity” ??  I like the sound of that!

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Having emerged as a full-blown Twitter Phenom, – @BobLeeSays – I can cause more mayhem and carnage to Lib/Dems via Twitter than I can via BobLeeSays commentaries.  Ergo I am concentrating those efforts over there.  However…

I will be posting The Best of BobLee’s Tweets in the Deep Thoughts & Deep Thoughts FLIPAwesome Tweets (DT&AT) segments posted on this Home Page.

Opening DT&ATs will be like “going skinny dipping at midnight in a slasher flick”.  That scene in every slasher flick where the teenage boy and girl at summer camp sneak out for a midnight skinny dip… as Jason / Leatherface hones the blade of his machete and/or chain saw. Noooo… Don’t Do It !!! …. You do so at your own peril.

Here on BobLeeSays we will concentrate on exposing and ridiculing the NON-Political facets of human evolution.  I estimate at least 10+ years of column fodder yet to be harvested.

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Next Time.

If you INSIST on “going skinny dipping at midnight”…

DeepThoughtsCheck out Deep Thoughts & Awesome Tweets.

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BobLee

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Doug
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Doug

Reply to Dale.
What BobLee said is correct. I’m pretty much team agnostic. Don’t hate or have a team but I am a huge fan of sports and the human silliness it can cause.
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FWIW I think the 2018/19 Duke MBB team could “Alabama” the NCCA field if all stay healthy.

Dale
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Dale

Doug, thanks so much for the insult…..I was suprised that a little quip revealed so much about me.

Nice to know that BobLee has his own resident Cliff Calvin.

Doug
Guest
Doug

Reply to BobLee:
You’re right about the daughter. Also Tom’s son Mark was UofL’s associate athletic director of marketing until he was fired in the AD’s purge. FWIW former NCSU assistant coach Bobby Lutz’s daughter is/was? also employed by Adidas.

Are shoe companies a good substitute for institutions which lack billionaire hedge fund alums?

Doug
Guest
Doug

Reply to Dr Wire: To add some irony the expansion of Cardinal Stadium, Adidas pitched in big $$ in the expansion to build the Adidas Lounge. Some call the school The University of Adidas at Louisville for the company’s $160M investment in athletics. This is the same company found guilty of defrauding UofL in just the latest basketball scandal trial. Who defrauded whom? Irony is indeed ironic. Not only did Bobby have a son and two son-in-law’s on his football staff but former AD Tim Jurich had his son on the AD staff. A family affair. It must have been… Read more »

Dr Wire
Guest

I attended the State at Louisville game yesterday as my third straight bi-annual trip to Louisville. It is a great town to visit. I do a lot of bizness with some great folks in Lu-vul so we tailgate together, but not yesterday. They all stayed home. COmmon refrain was “we no longer have a football team”. Bars, parking attendants, beer & Maker’s Mark concessions and hotels near stadium all whining over drop in $ flow. Attendance reported as 48K; actual more like 20K. My how the mighty have fallen while they stare at an empty $35MM stadium expansion. . Conventional… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

Replying to Dale & BLS:
Re: Robber Barons…
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Like BobLeeSays said, those accusing individuals or corporations of being “robber barons are typically “those who are NOT themselves in any sort of management especially executive level. … those not accustomed to making decisions involving Big $$$ with High Profile accountability.”

JD
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JD

Nobody comes to UNC games even when they are a winning team. No way I fire Fedora. The Heels have been competitive in almost every game. They are probably closer to a .500 team than a 1-8 team. It’s hard to win when your QB throws it to the other team 3 or 4 times a game.

Dale Madren
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Dale Madren

Robber Barons= Facebook, Google, Amazon…..

Silent Sam should be relocated to Kenan Jr. Stadium.

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

BL, No email or the BellSouth.net Spam machine ate it. Good Column. Will NOT drift into the political arena….or try NOT to….difficult….but I am in the 12 step program. . Rivers running RED and PIGS flying. That DID happen. Florence and Michael stirred up the clay from the Piedmont and the Neuse and CF and Deep River and others DID run RED. As to the Pigs flying….since the pigs are not allowed to poop or pass gas based on a court ordered settlement….when the pigs FINALLY need to allow their bowels to be “relieved”, they most certainly, via the principle… Read more »

wolfdon
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wolfdon

Wondered if you have listened to “Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk”, you put me onto audio books about a year ago and I have been addicted ever since. I barely have time to read your column anymore…..

Porgie
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Porgie

Speaking of “Job Security”, I noticed in today’s N&R the raises announced for the 17 UNC campus Chancellors with one notable campus leader receiving none pending a review in March. Is the gig approaching the end for ‘little chihuahua’? Let us know how the fund raising is going for LF’s buyout after your lunch with the prominent AD.

58 Wolf Kennel
Guest
58 Wolf Kennel

Well, BL, I was sitting down per your warning. Good for you !! Your excellent sports and literary knowledge are enough for many of us. Also it is a good time to take your AP political comments to the proper board. ( Of course I don’t draw a major distinction between lunatic fans and the fringe political fan boys and girls, on both extremes, in any case :>)) . I know you had to include NC State in your comparisons but don’t think its apt. We have a good ballclub, and as disappointing as Thursday vs WF was, It seemed… Read more »

sheryl.89
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sheryl.89

BobLee: If you don’t “do politics” on this page any more, what will Kennel have to complain about? LOL

Thomas.L
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Thomas.L

With the Dreaded Pitrino gone, who else, if anyone, gets the Ax in ACC FB this off-season?

Doug
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Doug

REPLY TO: BobLee and Dale… Buck Duke was not a slave owner. Born in 1856 and was 5 when hostilities broke out in the Civil War. Buck Duke was however known for his robber baron business tactics and was responsible for causing the Black Patch Tobacco Wars in Tennessee and Kentucky from 1906-1908. . Duke owned the American Tobacco Company monopoly and controlled 90% of the US cigarette market until it was broken up after the company was found guilty anti-trust violations under the Sherman Anti-Trust Act and broken up. He then founded British-American Tobacco Company (my former employer) which… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

Loonie fans of losing teams on message boards are like liberals. They start eating their own (is this allowed under your new rules of engagement??) and blaming A-Z for their woes. According to one sportswriter Gus Malzahn’s buyout at Auburn is $34M with $16M of it due within 30 days of termination. Talking about short arms not kicking $$ into the kitty. . As I have said it’s a good gig to be a fired BTCF or BB coach. Sorry I’m not smart enough to understand the buyout game. Where I come from, one works hard with the incentive to… Read more »

Duke.Guy,78
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Duke.Guy,78

Is the Duke loonie quote actual… or did you make it up? That is so incredibly stupid. Cutcliffe is the best FHC Duke has had since Bill Murray. He will be there until he retires whenever he choose.

Dale
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Dale

Washington Duke did own one slave. Bad enough, but not approaching Kenan territory. As you know , the Duke fortune was all achieved after the War of Northern Aggression ????

Where have I been? Nowhere special. But let’s do that catch-up offline sometime.

Porgie
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Porgie

Wolfpack BB has redefined “one and done” with a freshmen player entering the opening game with 5 minutes to play scoring 4 points, 3 rebounds and 1 assist. Then decides he has had enough and checks out. Glad I was there so I could see this phenom. And of course hapless L’ville fires their coach just before the Wolfpack plays them. I fully expect a Super Bowl performance from them Saturday.

Dale
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Dale

I am confident that Wallace Wade owned no slaves.