Q: Is This Column “Political”?
A: Nope …. YEAH, SORTA …. Incoming!
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BobLee:.. IMPEACH LARRY FEDORA… and other Absurdities
I knew this would happen someday. My two universes (sports & politics) have collided.
I had this vision of a goggle-eyed slobbering mob screaming…
IMPEACH LARRY FEDORA !!!!
I wasn’t watching CNN or MSNBC or ABC/CBS/NBC/NYT/WaPo/N&O… I had had cold pizza for dinner.
Leading the IMPEACH FEDORA slobbering mob was a circus parade of weirdos, oddballs and sideshow freaks – “Commie Girl”… “Hogg-Boy”… Very Mad Maxine… Fauxcahontas… Uncle Bernie… “Fredo” Cuomo… Mourning Joe… “Maude” Behar… Ruth “Buzzi” Ginsberg… and, my personal favorite – John Bren
nan.
Even you way radical Lefties gotta admit… give John Brennan an eyepatch and a cat-in-his-lap and that joker is the Ultimate Bond Villain… “No, Mr Trump, I expect you to diiieeee….”.
Hire John Brennan and his buddy “Clappy” to answer your door at Halloween… they’ll give the neighborhood kids nightmares for decades. You do know that “Clappy” was in the famous Star Wars Cantina scene. He was the 3rd alien from the left next to SquidMan from Pluto.
….Where was I? Oh yeah…. IMPEACH LARRY FEDORA!
For The Record:… I do NOT dislike Larry Fedora. I am simply totally apathetic about him and his program. But he is supplying me some primo column fodder lately…
Yakov Smirnoff … that Russian comedian from 1980s thats been in Branson the past 30 years. THAT is who Larry looks like with the beard!
That “I need a gazillion $$$ Taj Mahal IPF in order to be competitive” foolishness was classic. Alas, apparently that $35,000,000 did NOT include the smoothie machines.
So Larry and his revolving door of assistants ended up battling Elon, Campbell and even lowly ECU for Dave Doeren’s leftovers among North Carolina recruits. OUCH and OUCH and OUCH…
Of course those “leftovers” were “… all the great kids we really wanted…” Yeah, right Larry.
The Fat Cats that anted up for that silly “competitive” IPF gotta be scratching their heads. Wonder if it was the same Rams Club Fat Cats that funded the Buy High Dollar Lawyers war chest over TGU? Them Rams Clubs Fat Cats ain’t as fat as they were after all that major anteing up the past few years… .
IF Larry goes 3-9 AGAIN there might be another Big Time anteing up acoming … if you get my drift… uh oh!
All of you heard about LARRY SAID WHAT last week at the ACC FB Media Fandango. If anything else happened at the shebang it got drowned out in the LARRY SAID WHAT Furor.
Dabo announcing that he was opening a Hooter’s franchise inside Six Flags Over Death Valley would have gotten some notice, but no. It was ALL 100% LARRY SAID…
It wasn’t so much WHAT Larry said as it was WHY DID LARRY SAY IT? Was it a form of Tourette’s Syndrome – on Franklin Street they refer to those as “Having a Roy Moment”.
No media weasel asked Larry what he thought about CTE or The Future of America or anything of substance. No one asks anything of substance at those affairs other than “Hey Swoffy will they be bringing out more shrimp soon?” Larry just reared back and spewed.
It was the first time that El Jazeerah, Pravada and the BBC have all three interrupted their telecasts with…
BREAKING NEWS… some goober named Larry Fedora just said if Football Falls Then America is Doomed… and he said it’ll happen with ten years.
I had another vision of passengers in a departure lounge in Lagos, Nigeria glued to TV screens watching Larry predict “the Fall of America if tackle football is tinkered with” …. neither Bill Dooley nor The Butcher ever appeared on Lagos Airport TV… ever.
By Comparison… noted celebrity meteorologist and Cheers bartender Ted Danson said “The oceans will all be dead in 10 years”. Ted said that in 1994. How many of you remember that Ted Danson once “dated” Whoopi Goldberg… and yet you believed Ted about the oceans ???
Back to Larry… within 24 hours or was it within 30 minutes… demands for Fedora’s impeachment and/or immediate dismissal were flooding cyberspace. There was a 3’ high stack of WTH messages on Bubba’s desk before Bubba had even heard what Larry had said.
I do NOT think WHAT LARRY SAID rises to the level of Impeachment – Dismissal – Lynching – Tar & Feathering – or having to “kiss Deborah Crowder on the mouth”. Especially that last one.
Bubba just needs to have a “Come To Choo Choo” meeting with Larry about saying stoopid crap like that. Bubba’s similar pleas with Roy (known as a “Come To St. Dean” meeting) have never worked but maybe Larry will be more receptive.
- Will WHAT LARRY SAID hurt him in recruiting as that infamous UNC Trustee Barbara Whozit once asked The Butcher? … Considering how woeful Larry’s recruiting was going BEFORE he said what he said… define “hurt him”?
- Do any of Dave Doeren’s rejects even have a clue what CTE is or can spell it if you spot them the C and the T?
Other than be an endless source of occasionally clever jokes on Wolfpack fan sites, WHAT LARRY SAID will simply fade away… as much as any such incidents EVER really “fade away” in a backfence rivalry AKA “Amphibious”.
Q: Hey BobLee… what about the “Selling Shoes Thingy”?
A: I knew about that back in March. Why did it take WRAL six months to learn about it? Maybe Jim Goodmon has all his reporters diving in NCGA Repub dumpsters instead of doing their real jobs?
The “Selling Shoes Thingy” could get messy. IMO… It has a much higher Messy Upside than WHAT LARRY SAID.
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NARCOS UPDATE… I finished Season Three on NETFLIX and now await Season Four later this year – NARCOS MEXICO. Apparently the much-maligned “DEA Agent Pena” will NOT be in Season Four. There will be a new “DEA Agent _____” to do battle with El Chapo Guzman and his buddies.
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BFIB Update… St Louis Cardinals’ fans like to call themselves BFIB – Best Fans In Baseball. Largely due to their multi-decades of success second only to the Yankees in overall MLB excellence. They do fill Busch Stadium at 40,000 plus for 82 games/season… or, at least, they have for many years until now. … Hard times have arrived In The Shadow of The Arch. The BFIBs loyalty is being tested…. It’s easy to be “Best Fans” when the team is winning… these days, not so easy.
A three-year gradual decline in overall talent including a few “Ooops” trades and Free Agent acquisitions have The Redbirds sinking fast in the NL Central. All that may keep them out of 6th place is that there are only five teams in the NLC. At least twenty-three MLB teams claim to have THE WORST Bullpen in MLB. The Cardinals are among those 23 with a rightful claim to the title.
When your team’s Closer is every players choice to pitch to him in the Home Run Derby… you gotta problem.
The Cardinals axed their much-maligned manager last week. Now their even-much more-maligned General Manager is in the BFIBs crosshairs. Getting’ nasty… When GM John Mozeliak’s wife started using her maiden name around St Louis… there’s a problem.
Mikey Nifong’s wife did that during the Duke Lacrosse Scandal.
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The Hurricanes and “Their Voice of” Chuck Kaiton are parting ways…. after 39 years. I 
haven’t seen a “Canes game in 6-8 years, can’t name a single player; and never heard Chuck on the radio… but I have met him several times… A VERY VERY NICE GUY! … That only a few thousand fans listen to Canes Hockey on the radio (I’m surprised it’s that many) was stated as the reason for the parting. … Seems like the new owner coulda found some sort of Goodwill Ambassador role for Chuck?
THAT’S ALL FOR NOW…
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REPLY TO DOUG and BL: . Got your attention, did I. “Larry Fedora is definitely NOT “a bad guy” at all. In fact, from what all I know, he is “a good guy”. Everything I know about Larry Fedora is that he and his brothers, Lee and John, “are great guys”. . Doug, the Larry that you described in your story IS the real Larry. No need for him to be an enigma to you, or for you to be conflicted in your feelings regarding him. . Never met either Larry, Lee, or John but did have my hair cut… Read more »
I’ve about had it with this StLouis Cardinals fan site I visit. Any underperforming player is ‘a bum” and the FO are “all a bunch of idiots”. A 3-game losing streak and “our team” becomes “those bums & idiots”…
REPlY to CNR & BobLee . Larry Fedora is something of enigma to me and has always seemed an odd fit at UNC. The well documented issues CNR and BLS pointed out are examples. . Then there’s this. In 2017 a former neighbor and Duke under-grad, UNC Law, was attending the UNC Med School graduation of her niece on a hot and humid day. Neighbors husband was there too and battling a rare cancer. Larry saw them struggling and stopped and gave them a ride. Plus the young lady on the way to the ceremony realized she had left the… Read more »
Larry Fedora is definitely NOT “a bad guy” at all. In fact, from what all I know, he is “a good guy”. The % of good guys / bad guys among Big Time College FB Coaches (BTCFBC) is probably about the same as one might find among Lawyers, Doctors and that proverbial candlestick maker. . There are ethics within the occupation of BTCFBCs that are specific to that occupation. Outsiders and overly-caffeinated fans and rival fans perceive those ethics via their innate prejudices.. just as we judge our elected officials. BTCFBC are pressured TO WIN games as politicians are pressured… Read more »
Larry Fedora is the architect of his own problems because he is not a Carl Snavely in any way which means he is one of many coaches of today who may be classified as jerks. They behave as jerks and lead a team of whom many players may be, as is their leader, jerks. . Example of the action of a jerk is to decimate a locker room as visitors. Another is to desecrate a sacred campus place such as a symbol on a football field. Finally there is the cowardly gang of jerks who punched and kicked a lone… Read more »
I’m pretty sure he was never in danger of termination for his unfortunate comments… or likely for turning a blind eye to the Shoe Selling. What might “get him” will be another season of losing to his two most hated rivals. There would be about a 5-year buyout but at this point the Fat Cats are in so deep what’s another 12-15 more million… for bragging rights within a 50 square mile area. . BFIB are hellbent to disprove their reputation… Busch natives VERY VERY restless right now. I really like the interim guy but he has an under-talented roster… Read more »
I’ve been telling you folks that moi is rapidly becoming “The Twitter Legend”… I don’t try to inflate my follower #s (only 710!). …… I just use those 280 characters like Yo Yo Ma uses a cello !!! Case in point, a tweet I posted earlier today that is going en fuego …
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“As provocative and even preposterous that Donald Trump so often is… he pales besides the utter abject STOOPIDITY of his opponents from both the political and media arenas. “The Lesser of Two Evils” – NOW more so than ever.”
I am intrigued by the play-by guy story. I know you have mentioned that being “The Voice of” is a dying breed, but especially being the Voice of a not-so-closely followed pro sports team is akin to the White Rhino of the broadcasting world. I know I read that the Hornets are only taking the play-by guy on the road now. Their original “Voice of” retired. I’m shocked MJ hasn’t gone with the TV simulcast thing for home and away. I would not be shocked if the Hornets are only on Short Wave and CB simulcast anyway. . I’m with… Read more »
Yea, they created an eBay middleman and sold the Jumpman kicks thru him. HAD to know it was illegal but figured Larry would let it slide, or maybe they didn’t care if he did or not. … When you lose the kids you really want, you end up taking “character risks” who invariably blow up on you. . I’ve been meaning to do a column on “Voices of”. The radio guys are truly a dying breed with every game on TV now. All the loyal “I only listen to Woody because he tells it like it really is…” ??? old… Read more »
Fedora did an effective job of diverting questions and attention from the growing challenges he has on the horizon. His team is a mess. He is facing the reality of recruiting the “left behind” after State, Duke and even WF. His IPF may not get here in time to change his possibilities. He has to address another NCAA issue. How long will/can Bubba protect his hire? Kaiton will be missed as one of the few constants of the Canes 2 decades in business or 3.5 decades if u include the Whalers. Class act in every way who will find options… Read more »
Theres is probably a 2nd side to the Kaiton decision. Chuck may have over-valued his current worth to the organization and was unwilling to compromise ???
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IMO… Larry has a three-game season – ECU / State / Duke … everything else is “just a game”. No AttaBoys for Cal, ODU or WestCaro for sure. His inability to maintain staff stability has been deadly… especially with DD doing just the opposite.
I love all your names for the liberal clowns. Commie Girl, Hogg-Boy, Ruth “Buzzi” Ginsberg, etc. Can I use them?
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And Yakov Smirnoff for Fedora is PERFECT!
Absolutely. Ruth “Buzzi” is not mine. Rush came up with that one 20 years ago. So PERFECT! … I always appreciate a “credit” if you use them but its not necessary. I use them on Twitter all the time plus others… @bobleesays . …
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The Yakov thing just hit me yesterday… “Who does he look like w/ the beard ????” That old Russian comedian in Branson !!!!
How many games does Fedora HAVE to win to keep the keys to the Taj Mahal ??
Probably not HOW MANY but WHICH ONES… His recent propensity for losing to State & Duke strikes at the very core of the Old Wellers Ego. Totally Unacceptable PERIOD. Arguably losing at woeful ECU would be preferable to yet another loss to State or Duke. Losing to two of those three will be very un-good. Other than those three… all the others are just “games”. They matter but not all that much.
The Tar Heels and Larry Fedora are married for the foreseeable future. He missed his chance to jump to a big time job after losing to Duke and State, and no one of his pedigree would want the the job of coaching this dumpster fire in Chapel Hill. Maybe they could hire the coach from Last Chance U season 3.
Thats a version of the old restaurant owner’s dilemma – “Never fire the chef until you have hired a new one” . Your logic is probably correct but too logical for the silly business of Fat Cat Sports. Larry’s best scenario might be that DD has a Dream Season and flies the Carter-Finley Coop… giving Larry a new chance at in-state recruits. IF Larry loses AGAIN to State & Duke, that seat is gonna get really hot.
Lotsa interesting thoughts and good phrase turning in this meandering blog piece.
First comment is that only Roy could play AJ Jeff Sessions.
Last comment is that I love listening to Chuck Kaiton. He’s the Vin Scully of hockey.
Your sports enthusiasms are indeed dwindling. Would think your presidential enthusiasms should ebb as well.
“meandering”… assume you mean AG Jeff Sessions. Never heard a discouraging word about Chuck Kaiton. That is rare these days.
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I was always a “lesser of two evils” voter and that has been reaffirmed every hour since Nov 8, 2016. 🙂
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Cardinals over Reds in 11 tonight. BFIBs happy for next 20 hours or so..
His audience was a few thousand???WRAL can put him on at 6pm and gain market share.
I would say McClatchy could hire him, but they left their job application stack back in the old buildings they evacuated, knowing they had already made their last new hire.
He (Chuck) really is a terrific gentleman and GREAT ambassador for Hockey in this market.
Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting the way that new billionaire Cane’s owner handled Chuck Kaiton. I agree with your last sentence 100%. That’s it for me….no longer a Cane fan. I’ll just start pulling for Webb Simpson to make the Ryder Cup team.
prince albert
He – Billionaire Carpetbagger Owner – coulda handled it a lot better. Sure, no one listens to Canes on Radio any more but there was something Chuck coulda done. Be a “greeter” or do civic club speeches etc etc etc …