BobLee: IMPEACH LARRY FEDORA !!!... plus.

Q: Is This Column “Political”?

A: Nope …. YEAH, SORTA …. Incoming!

BobLee:.. IMPEACH LARRY FEDORA… and other Absurdities

I knew this would happen someday. My two universes (sports & politics) have collided.

I had this vision of a goggle-eyed slobbering mob screaming…

IMPEACH LARRY FEDORA !!!!

I wasn’t watching CNN or MSNBC or ABC/CBS/NBC/NYT/WaPo/N&O… I had had cold pizza for dinner.

Leading the IMPEACH FEDORA slobbering mob was a circus parade of weirdos, oddballs and sideshow freaks – “Commie Girl”… “Hogg-Boy”… Very Mad Maxine… Fauxcahontas… Uncle Bernie… “Fredo” Cuomo… Mourning Joe… “Maude” Behar… Ruth “Buzzi” Ginsberg… and, my personal favorite – John Brennan.

Even you way radical Lefties gotta admit… give John Brennan an eyepatch and a cat-in-his-lap and that joker is the Ultimate Bond Villain… “No, Mr Trump, I expect you to diiieeee….”.

Hire John Brennan and his buddy “Clappy” to answer your door at Halloween… they’ll give the neighborhood kids nightmares for decades. You do know that “Clappy” was in the famous Star Wars Cantina scene. He was the 3rd alien from the left next to SquidMan from Pluto.

….Where was I? Oh yeah…. IMPEACH LARRY FEDORA!

For The Record:… I do NOT dislike Larry Fedora. I am simply totally apathetic about him and his program. But he is supplying me some primo column fodder lately…

Yakov Smirnoff … that Russian comedian from 1980s thats been in Branson the past 30 years. THAT is who Larry looks like with the beard!

That “I need a gazillion $$$ Taj Mahal IPF in order to be competitive” foolishness was classic. Alas, apparently that $35,000,000 did NOT include the smoothie machines.

So Larry and his revolving door of assistants ended up battling Elon, Campbell and even lowly ECU for Dave Doeren’s leftovers among North Carolina recruits. OUCH and OUCH and OUCH…

Of course those “leftovers” were “… all the great kids we really wanted…” Yeah, right Larry.

The Fat Cats that anted up for that silly “competitive” IPF gotta be scratching their heads. Wonder if it was the same Rams Club Fat Cats that funded the Buy High Dollar Lawyers war chest over TGU? Them Rams Clubs Fat Cats ain’t as fat as they were after all that major anteing up the past few years… .

IF Larry goes 3-9 AGAIN there might be another Big Time anteing up acoming … if you get my drift… uh oh!

All of you heard about LARRY SAID WHAT last week at the ACC FB Media Fandango. If anything else happened at the shebang it got drowned out in the LARRY SAID WHAT Furor.

Dabo announcing that he was opening a Hooter’s franchise inside Six Flags Over Death Valley would have gotten some notice, but no. It was ALL 100% LARRY SAID…

It wasn’t so much WHAT Larry said as it was WHY DID LARRY SAY IT? Was it a form of Tourette’s Syndrome – on Franklin Street they refer to those as “Having a Roy Moment”.

No media weasel asked Larry what he thought about CTE or The Future of America or anything of substance. No one asks anything of substance at those affairs other than “Hey Swoffy will they be bringing out more shrimp soon?” Larry just reared back and spewed.

It was the first time that El Jazeerah, Pravada and the BBC have all three interrupted their telecasts with…

BREAKING NEWS… some goober named Larry Fedora just said if Football Falls Then America is Doomed… and he said it’ll happen with ten years.

I had another vision of passengers in a departure lounge in Lagos, Nigeria glued to TV screens watching Larry predict “the Fall of America if tackle football is tinkered with” …. neither Bill Dooley nor The Butcher ever appeared on Lagos Airport TV… ever.

By Comparison… noted celebrity meteorologist and Cheers bartender Ted Danson said “The oceans will all be dead in 10 years”. Ted said that in 1994. How many of you remember that Ted Danson once “dated” Whoopi Goldberg… and yet you believed Ted about the oceans ???

Back to Larry… within 24 hours or was it within 30 minutes… demands for Fedora’s impeachment and/or immediate dismissal were flooding cyberspace. There was a 3’ high stack of WTH messages on Bubba’s desk before Bubba had even heard what Larry had said.

I do NOT think WHAT LARRY SAID rises to the level of Impeachment – Dismissal – Lynching – Tar & Feathering – or having to “kiss Deborah Crowder on the mouth”. Especially that last one.

Bubba just needs to have a “Come To Choo Choo” meeting with Larry about saying stoopid crap like that. Bubba’s similar pleas with Roy (known as a “Come To St. Dean” meeting) have never worked but maybe Larry will be more receptive.

Will WHAT LARRY SAID hurt him in recruiting as that infamous UNC Trustee Barbara Whozit once asked The Butcher? … Considering how woeful Larry’s recruiting was going BEFORE he said what he said… define “hurt him”?
Do any of Dave Doeren’s rejects even have a clue what CTE is or can spell it if you spot them the C and the T?

Other than be an endless source of occasionally clever jokes on Wolfpack fan sites, WHAT LARRY SAID will simply fade away… as much as any such incidents EVER really “fade away” in a backfence rivalry AKA “Amphibious”.

Q: Hey BobLee… what about the “Selling Shoes Thingy”?

A: I knew about that back in March. Why did it take WRAL six months to learn about it? Maybe Jim Goodmon has all his reporters diving in NCGA Repub dumpsters instead of doing their real jobs?

The “Selling Shoes Thingy” could get messy. IMO… It has a much higher Messy Upside than WHAT LARRY SAID.

NARCOS UPDATE… I finished Season Three on NETFLIX and now await Season Four later this year – NARCOS MEXICO. Apparently the much-maligned “DEA Agent Pena” will NOT be in Season Four. There will be a new “DEA Agent _____” to do battle with El Chapo Guzman and his buddies.

BFIB Update… St Louis Cardinals’ fans like to call themselves BFIB – Best Fans In Baseball. Largely due to their multi-decades of success second only to the Yankees in overall MLB excellence. They do fill Busch Stadium at 40,000 plus for 82 games/season… or, at least, they have for many years until now. … Hard times have arrived In The Shadow of The Arch. The BFIBs loyalty is being tested…. It’s easy to be “Best Fans” when the team is winning… these days, not so easy.

A three-year gradual decline in overall talent including a few “Ooops” trades and Free Agent acquisitions have The Redbirds sinking fast in the NL Central. All that may keep them out of 6th place is that there are only five teams in the NLC. At least twenty-three MLB teams claim to have THE WORST Bullpen in MLB. The Cardinals are among those 23 with a rightful claim to the title.

When your team’s Closer is every players choice to pitch to him in the Home Run Derby… you gotta problem.

The Cardinals axed their much-maligned manager last week. Now their even-much more-maligned General Manager is in the BFIBs crosshairs. Getting’ nasty… When GM John Mozeliak’s wife started using her maiden name around St Louis… there’s a problem.

Mikey Nifong’s wife did that during the Duke Lacrosse Scandal.

The Hurricanes and “Their Voice of” Chuck Kaiton are parting ways…. after 39 years. I haven’t seen a “Canes game in 6-8 years, can’t name a single player; and never heard Chuck on the radio… but I have met him several times… A VERY VERY NICE GUY! … That only a few thousand fans listen to Canes Hockey on the radio (I’m surprised it’s that many) was stated as the reason for the parting. … Seems like the new owner coulda found some sort of Goodwill Ambassador role for Chuck?