BL: A First for March Madness – All 64 teams are…

March Madness
BobLee
March14/ 2018

BL: A First for March Madness: All 64 Teams are…

It was bound to happen. Appropriate that it would happen in this year of so much Yadda Yadda about The Scandalous State of Big Time College Sports.  Despite overwhelming mathematical probability… for the first time in its illustrious 50+ year history… The March Madness Wizards have managed to place…

All 64 teams are… “in The Toughest Bracket!”

From lowly Lipscomb (?) to Mr. Jefferson’s Cavaliers and everyone in-between… all 64 teams and their overly-caffeinated fans agree that We got put in the toughest bracket… and IT’S NOT FAIR!Not Fair

The #1 Universal Reason “why” is, of course, because the selection committee is jealous of us because we are “such a cool school”.

In the case of Royz Boyz it is, of course, somehow related to SILENT SAM… because EVERYTHING is somehow related to SILENT SAM. Poor Ol’ SSam is “the Kevin Bacon” of lynchpins.

NOTE:  I get asked a lot “what do you (I) think about Silent Sam?” … Honestly, I don’t “think about Silent Sam” at all.  Since UNC officials outlawed the Beat Dook Parade in the mid-70s, I stopped paying attention…

The glaring lack of transgendered muslims on the NCAA Selection Committee is already being noted as a factor.  How many committee members are NRA members is also being researched.

As the tournament proceeds… usually about the 3rd Round, “the eeeevil referees” will be told which traditional powers and which “Cinderellas” are to advance for maximum TV ratings. No more than five “traditional powers” can make the Elite Eight… along with one mid-major… one on-line school not named Southern New Hampshire,… or Word of God!

There will be at least one Elite Eight team from “America’s Heartland” despite violent objections from some quite deranged old crone in Chappaqua NY.   OUCH!

At least one Elite Eight team must be located somewhere that no one would ever guess. This is known as the Florida Gulf Coast / Gonzaga / Butler / Texas Western Rule.

This year, the “who better win” list will be decided by a super-secret committee composed of “the Russians”… Adam Schiff (is he weird or what?)… Marla Maples… Dana Loesch… and Condi Rice. Raise your hand if you remember Marla. This is the umpteenth super-secret-special committee that Condi Rice has been on.

Condi Rice is America’s #1 Special Committee Member.

This is the 5th consecutive year I will NOT “fill out a bracket”. As with “not watching the NFL, The NBA, or The Ellen Degeneres Show”… it has nothing to do with “kneeling”… or the outspoken political opinions of Greg Popovich… or Ellen being gay. I just like to be different.

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Did you know… Yesterday – March 13th – was the 12th Anniversary of The Duke Lacrosse Scandal? Yes, twelve years ago Crystal Mangum (“…honor student and single mother of two” !!!) was NOT sexually assaulted by four “rich white boys” in a tiny bathroom at 610 North Buchanan Blvd in Durham. … the verb “to Duke Lacrose HouseNifong” was created… and The News & Observer committed THE Most Egregious Journalistic Embarrassment in recorded history… certainly in this millennium.

Twelve years later pretty much all the N&O employees who actively perpetrated said embarrassment have “gone away” along with 100s of other N&O employees from 2006. Crystal Mangum has birthed one or more additional babies and killed a boyfriend with a butcher knife after burning his clothes in a bathtub.

The current whereabouts of Mikey Nifong are unknown. One reported sighting of Mikey as “a parking valet at a Fats Thomas party” is unconfirmed. Likewise a report that Mikey is Reille Hunter’s cabana boy is considered “not likely… but maybe”.

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I was notified via Twitter that ESPN conducted a Most Famous Alumni contest for each of the 64 teams in March Madness. I don’t watch ESPN so I only know what I was tweeted.

Andy Griffith “won” for UNCCH.

Yours Truly finished 28th behind Makhtar N’Diaye but ahead of “Young Marvin” and the late Neal Fingleton.  No clue where Jack Palance and John “Skippy” Skipper finished. Votes for “Skippy” were thrown out by ESPN vote-counters as “former ESPN CEOs undergoing rehab” are not eligible.  That doesn’t seem fair.

No… I don’t know where Bre’r Kennel came in on NCSU’s “Most Famous” list. Maybe in a group with Reynaldo Lovisa, John Tesh, and “those twins that played for Kay Yow”.

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BLSays Movie Review…

Yes, I have seen Death Wish 2018. Charles Bronson will ALWAYS be “Paul Kersey”… original Death Wish vigilante. Bruce Willis will always be “John McClane” (“Die Hard” series). Bruce Willis as “Paul Kersey” (now an ER doctor, not an architect) is like Sean Connery playing “Rambo”. It violates The Laws of Nature.

Lara Croft

This week we get a new “Lara Croft”. No more Whatshername Jolie. I will see it; violating my “no more than twomovies/year” policy. But I have concerns with the casting change. Walton Coggins (“Boyd Crowder” from Justified) plays The Super Villain so he could save it.

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Here’s hoping “your team” wins the next three weeks… despite the virtually insurmountable obstacles of (1) Being In The Hardest Bracket… and (2) “So&So referee hates you”.

PS: Do you think there is a Fat Cat Booster at Cal State NorthRidge ecstatic that “The Matadors” are going Big Time by hiring Mark Gottfried? You know there has to be…

.

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If you enjoyed this… 

2,000 more BobLeeSays commentaries – LINK.

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