BL:.. Yuli and Yu… and RIP Bench Jockeys

Yuli gesture
BobLee
October29/ 2017

BL: ..Yuli and Yu… and RIP Bench Jockeys.

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UPDATE: at 1:40 AM Monday morning Game Five just redefined HUMDINGER.  Not sure anything can out-Humding this one.  Astros 13- LAD 12… OH MY!!!

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There will be people reading this column who have never heard the words “Fusion GPS” or “UraniumOne”.  Who truly believe The Smartest Woman on Earth never knew nuthin’ about nuthin’ about her ill-fated presidential campaign.

Even “those people”, in their media bubble, have heard that…

… some Cuban baseball player said or did something AWFUL at/to some Japanese/Iranian baseball player.  And Earth actually stopped revolving around the Sun AND stopped rotating around its polar axis. It was THAT big a deal.   Forget both The Cuban Missile Crisis and Pearl Harbor. This dwarfs both of those by a lot.

I, personally, don’t think it was THAT big a deal.  Alas, my application to be Czar of Really Big Deals keeps getting rejected. … sigh.

Here is a thumbnail of what actually happened. This will differ significantly from the umpteen versions you read on Twitter or Facebook or any “mainstream media” sites.

Friday night in Game Three of The World Series… a Houston Astros player named Yuli Gurriel  ( U-Lee Jewry-El) hit a Home Run off of a Dodger pitcher named Yu Darvish (U Dar-Vish).  Both players’ first names beginning with “Y” is kinda neat but irrelevant.

Yu;li haircut

Yuli circled the bases and went into the Astros dugout. Where his teammates congratulated him including messing up his rather unusual haircut. Think of a rooster’s top knot. Lots of baseball players have unusual haircuts these days.  Yuli’s haircut is especially unique. Again an irrelevant factoid.

A Cuban player on the Dodgers has blue hair..???  Don’t ask me…

There are a bazillion cameras covering a WS game including a number apparently assigned to each team’s dugout. As the game continued, Yuli, in the after-glow of his feat, and, while sitting on the bench in his team’s dugout made a finger gesture that… in Cuban culture… is a derisive “slur” to Asians, Orientals, Japanese, and Koreans. It chides “Asians” for the almond-shape of their eyes.

To Cubans, all Asians are Chinese(??). They do not further separate them by specific national origins. Who knew?

NOTE:  If an MLB player needs to scratch his butt or adjust his “cup” he better go to the locker room and lock the door, or risk being arrested for indecent exposure… in America 2017.

The Dodger pitcher off of whom he hit that HR is Yu Darvish who is Japanese (and part Iranian too) and makes mucho millions and as a free agent will make mucho mucho millions more after The WS is over. Yu speaks “OK English” enough to “order a Big Mac and fries”. He has almond-shaped eyes. No clue if Yu’s Iranian part is Muslim or not.

Have I mentioned that the 33 y/o Yuli spent his first 30 years in Castro’s Cuba? He did. Then he played baseball in Japan for a year before signing with the Astros two years ago. He makes $12,000,000/year as a solid, but not great, first baseman for the Astros. That equates to more $$$ for each one of 162 games ($75,000) than he made TOTAL in his 30 years living in Castro’s Cuba. Yuli speaks “very broken English at best” relying upon an interpreter for media interviews.

I feel compelled to insert here that Yuli Gurriel, as a Cuban citizen, not only did not vote for Donald Trump and he also does NOT listen to eeeevil right-wing talk radio. That I have to insert that tells you where THIS is going… in America 2017.

In addition to the “finger gesture about Asian eyes”, Yuli “mouthed” a Cuban slur about Asians. He “mouthed” it. He did NOT yell it out. He “mouthed” it. Meanwhile Yu Darvish was 100+’ away pitching to the next Astros batter. Yuli was sitting in the Astros dugout.

I don’t know diddly about Cuban culture. Joe Ovios would be my go-to-guy if I had a need to know. I certainly did not know that Cubans had special finger gestures and slurs specifically about Asians. The Cuban slur Yuli “mouthed” was “chinito” i.e. “Chinese boy”.

I have no clue what that means or how it slurs Chinese… but apparently it does. As “all this” became an international incident of STOP THE PRESSES magnitude both Yuli and Yu apparently were familiar with the term that Yuli “mouthed” in the dugout.

The Astros won the game with Yuli being a star of the game.

NOTE: With GIANORMOUS events like a Super Bowl or World Series the “media” covering the event swells to include a LOT of “millennial mutts” who don’t know an “infield fly” from a horse fly. Many of the same clueless nimrods that cover politics and weather and other areas of “news” they know “squat” about. That is the mob who descended upon Yuli and his interpreter after the game.

Yuli managed to convey he was sorry. He knows and respects Yu and did not realize he had created an International incident… sitting in the dugout basking in the after-glow of hitting a HR in an WS game.

OF COURSE… this then became “an international incident” with Dodger fans… and other PC-obsessed sickos across America DEMANDING that MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred (1) “Braveheart” Yuli and sent his disemboweled carcass back to Castro’s Cuba. And, of course, (2) forfeit the series to The Dodgers and maybe (3) withhold all federal aid to Houston for whatever their hurricane was named.

NOTE:  I have not seen any quotes from my favorite Dodger fan “the lovely” Mary Hart.  I hope Mary is not too upset.

Idiotic Houston Congresswoman (D) Sheila Jackson-Lee probably said something really stoopid because she always does. She surely blamed Trump… while wearing a funny hat. If anyone merits a “slur” it’s that mo-ron.

Commissioner Manfred has suspended Yuli for Five games beginning next season… without pay. That will cost Yuli about $350,000 which will be donated to some Chinese charity in Houston.

Now Dodger fans and those PC-obsessed sickos are really really pissed at Commissioner Manfred because they wanted Yuli’s head (with the funny haircut) on a platter… for making that finger gesture and “mouthing” a slur while sitting in the Astros dugout after his Home Run.

Commissioner Manfred now joins NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell as America’s Two Most Hated Pro Sports Commissioners. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver remains America’s Strangest Looking Pro Sports Commissioner… by a lot.

If I was MLB Commissioner, I woulda (1) fined Yuli $50; and (2) demanded he find a different barber. That haircut really is goofy.

Through all this I thought about Bench Jockeys…

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RIP to “The Bench Jockey” in Baseball….

This 5-ALARM OMG over the Yuli / Yu Non-Issue personifies what America 2017 has evolved to… Bull Durham

“Back in the day” EVERY baseball team at every level from LL to MLB had a designated “bench jockey”… usually a utility player who, if he got ejected, didn’t hurt the team too much. …..

The Bench Jockey’s “job” was to verbally “rag” the opposing team – and the umpires – the entire game FROM THE DUGOUT. By “getting inside their heads” he broke their concentration giving his team an edge. ….

NOTHING was sacred… ethnicity, physical features, wives, girlfriends, etc etc… the more notorious bench jockeys became celebrities.

Imagine Don Rickles in a baseball uniform yacking like a foghorn from the dugout for 9 innings.

It was not uncommon for an insult to be sooo funny that the home plate ump / catcher / batter had to call time because they were laughing so hard….

We have two regular commenters here – Cowdog and, of course, THE Bob Kennel. Both have played A LOT of Baseball. With Cowdog, I am 100% sure he is very familiar with bench jockeying and fancied himself quite proficient in that art.  BK did it too both from the dugout and while crouching behind the plate.  Knowing BK, he probably invented “bench jockeying” when he helped Abner Doubleday lay off the first diamond.

I won’t be surprised if we get a visit from “Coach CNR” on this one.  I sure hope so.

Somewhere in Baseball Heaven 100s of “bench jockeys” are shaking their heads and laughing their butts off at this latest Yuli vs Yu OMG !!!

… I certainly am.

PS:  Blondie has a TERRIFIC column about How Celebrities Get Tickets to Big Games.  You should read it … LINK

PS2:  I know you’ans want my take on NCSU v ND and I have one.  But this Yuli / Yu Mess had Global Significance.  I’ll explain why Wuffs should calm down and not do what you’ve probably already done … in my next column,  I promise.

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CNR
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CNR

What a forty-eight hours this has been. I decided to go to the final game at Minute Maid as I was really, really high after the OSU-PSU game at Columbus. I am the only person with whom Pat, my son-in-law and O letter Buck, will watch a game. You remember how Pat ducked you when you spent the week. He is an American Catholic union guy who has subscribed to the NYT, Washington Post, Boston Globe, CNN, and blah, blah, blah since he was a college guy at Columbus and then Columbia. . His dad played at Miami O. and… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

“I was taught by great mentors to play with inner conceit. Know that you have greatness but show humility.”

What a story. What a life. Another lesson learned.

TheCowdog
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TheCowdog

Hey, Man…Ya have to be an experienced splinter picker to come up with the good stuff. I was too busy playin’ 🙂
Now, what Gurriel did would not be something that I’d actually equate to a good rag. It wasn’t clever and probably ineffectual, except the next time he faces Darvish and gets plugged.
However, Asian ballplayers are very different from the Latin player, and Yu will most likely keep it professional.
I’m pretty sure if the roles were reversed, someone would be goin’ down.

BobH
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BobH

Yuli gets suspended for 5 games for doing what baseball players – and fans – do, costing him $350,000 while the low IQ nfl (doesn’t deserve the extra ink to capitalize) idjits insult the entire nation and it doesn’t cost most of them a dime. I don’t know who wrote the following or I would attribute it. I got it from a friend by email this morning. It just about says it all, I think. ” The knee’s not the problem . . . Things that make you go Hmmmmmm? Children raised in fatherless homes, especially black children, are far… Read more »

Doug
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Doug

You didn’t really believe that your beloved baseball could escape Amerika 2017 did you? Anyway, leave it to a millennial ESPN info-babe to go into minute detail on about Carlos Correa’s solo HR being hit at a miraculous 48º “launch angle” to illustrate the balls are slicker/juiced/different than normal. If asked about the balls, Yuri has been advised to NOT double down with any suggestive comment or gesture about his bat to certain sports media members. Clubhouse humor is no longer appreciated After seeing a few of the players haircuts I wonder how Ed Emory or others at GHS would… Read more »

TarSpartan
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TarSpartan

Your picture is from “Bull Durham,” but when you mention bench jockeying, all I can think of is the scene from “Major League” where the catcher comments on how he found the hitter’s wife in the club last night. In other news, I have lived in San Antonio for almost 15 years, but have never seen Astros gear in the stores until last week. I have a feeling that if the ‘Stros can pull off one more win the bandwagon will be awfully crowded. And sadly, I couldn’t make it to the end of last night’s game. When the game… Read more »

CNR
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CNR

I began to read this after the Dodger 4th. BL, you are the man. I was reading and thinking, thinking and reading. My memory went into overdrive… NO WAY and JEEZLE PEEZLE. The crazy haired Cuban just tied it! On to the 5th. Love those Dodger Blue rookies. Back to a three run lead. No emotion from me. My heart is beating faster than 1955 when the last ball went to PeeWee. Holy Toledo. Altuve stopped swinging at balls dropping on the plate to tie it with a three run no-doubter. Holy Cow! Continued tomorrow. Too many Astro guys trying… Read more »

Bob Kennel
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Bob Kennel

BL, sorry to disappoint, but I had really heard nothing about Yuli and Yu and frankly don’t understand the severity of feelings. As for bench jockeys, I was not one. Always thought it was kin to cussing, primarily a lack of good English. Now as a catcher, I was tough on hitters and sweet on umps. Never got thrown out of a game in Little League, Legion, high school, college, Air Force, semi-pro, or pro ball. Always talked with umps and would question some calls but never use a cuss words or turn around on them or try to show… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

BL, As others have said, the idiosyncracies of Baseball are not something that I even pretend to be partially versed in. I had seen a picture of the guy that uses Kim What’s his face’s barber. I had NO idea that he had mouthed a NO NO….but now I understand. IT IS COSMIC. The MSM will use any story to push off the Clinton Rusky hanky panky (little know fact….Bill actually did get some great Rusky female companionship as part of his $500K Speaking Fee…..word on the street that the girls could not utter any intelligible words whilst providing services).… Read more »

fayettewuf
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fayettewuf

Did you actually delete my comment about this on the previous piece?

Mayberry Jim
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Mayberry Jim

BL, I really appreciate what you do, because other than “Sheila Jackson-Lee probably said something really stoopid because she always does”, I knew absolutely zilch zero nada about anything else in your entire essay above. You expand my base of knowledge into areas that I either don’t care about or don’t regularly follow, but it is always entertaining. Thanks.