A HUMDINGER of a Ballgame… and
Skippy @ ESPN has ANOTHER Bad Week or so.
IT was a bona-fide HUMDINGER of a Baseball game. … World Series Game Two – Dodgers v Astros – Dodger Stadium. Even Kennel didn’t see IT and he’s a Dodger die-hard so I doubt many if any of you saw IT. Did ya’ll know BK taught Roy Campanella how to squat? … I digress.
You know five of My Top Five “Things”:
• Lonesome Dove
• Brunswick Stew
• Diner Breakfasts
Road House is in the 2nd Five at #7
Last night (Wed) Game Two did not reach Game Six 2011 (Freese HR) magnitude or Game Seven 1960 (Mazeroski HR) because it was not a DO or Die situation. If it had had that pressure… Lordy Lordy the entire LA electrical grid woulda shut down three times in those last four innings. It was THAT GOOD!
Mary Hart was there. Kate Upton… Payton Manning… “Fernando”… a coupla notorious rappers(??)… and yours truly was glued to my IMac the entire four + hours.
Glued to my IMac ?? Yeah… Raleigh’s #1 Limo Liberal- Jim Goodmon is in a pissin’ contest with ATT Uverse so his NBC and Fox channels are shut-off. Since I’m a MLB.tv guy I went to Plan B which is via my IMac thru MLB.com. Screw you Goodmon… you demented ol’ coot. Where was I?
I don’t have a “my team” in this Series. Nor do I have a “I hate…” team. Apparently having an “I hate…” team is a new rule in Sports Fans Are Stoopid World. I’m not a rules guy. I did not have an emotional investment in the game.
Speaking of “not actually a rule”… Brad Paisley (CW singer) sang the SSB. They didn’t show all 50,000 but it looked like a Baseball game and NOT an NFL game if ya get my drift… and I’m sure you do…. There being a lot of south-of-the-border types in LA, it made sense to ask Jose, can you see… Apparently Jose could indeed see. What Jose saw was a HUMDINGER.
I won’t go thru the whole 11 innings just because, but the 8-9-10-11th were “otherworldly”. And I’ve seen a LOT of baseball.
It helps to know a bit about the two team’s personnel and their ups / downs the past several weeks. Then throw all that out… because ZERO of it followed “the script”.
“THE Best Closer in Baseball” got beat like a rented mule. … Several Astros who were “0 for October” found their strokes in those final innings. … A ball bounced off a centerfielder’s cap bill saving a run. … A pick-off throw hit an ump in the leg saving a run. … A banjo-hitting back-up SS with three HRs in two years… went YARD in the 11th and almost hyperventilated running the bases. …. The Dodgers’ Quite Crazy Cuan threw his glove ala Bad News Bears… then hit a monster HR that landed in Bakersfield… then flailed at a slider in the dirt to finally end 4:24 of a HUMDINGER. …Eight HRs were most ever hit in one WS game.
Dodgers were down to their last pitcher. One more inning and they were calling Chelsea Handler’s midget.
Oh… Astros won the first WS game in the history of the franchise 7-6 now head home to Houston tied 1-1.
Doeren’s Duel With Destiny in the Shadow of The Golden Dome is gonna have to go a ways to top last night.
My inside sources tell me the Doerenians are forsaking their new traditionl gray-on-gray funeralunis for the old-fashioned white-on-white with Struttin’ Tuffy on their helmets. No clue who made that call but HUZZA to whoever it was… I’ve always like Struttin’ Tuffy.
Meanwhile in the bucolic Sodom & Gomorrah of Bristol Connecticutt…
A bad “seems like forever” got worse… then got worse some more.
Poor Skippy The ESPN CEO, that’s John Skipper (UNC’75) from Lexington NC.
Ya know you’re having a buncha bad days when Harvey Weinstein calls to say he’s “feelin’your pain”… but is not interested in changing places with you.
Robert Iger is Skippy’s Big boss as honco of Disney. Let’s imagine Iger’s Executive Secretary, Hilda Wiggelburt, having to interrupt her boss…
“Excuse me, Mr. Iger…”
“Yes, Hilda, what is it? Speak up Woman…”
“Yes sir… well sir… I aaahh… there’s ANOTHER sh** storm in Bristol, sir.”
Iger spins in his chair to face out on the Disney back-lot where Pirates of The Caribbean #26 – Jack Sparrow Coaches ECU is wrapping up. He pulls out his fidget and starts fidgeting with it… rubbing his temples.
He reaches for his phone and hits a well-worn number…
“Mr. Skipper office, this is “Terri with an i”. May I help you?”
“Let me speak to that blithering idiot”
Just a moment, sir. Mr. Skipper, it’s for you, It’s Mr. Iger… Again.
“Hey Bob… those Dodgers are really…
“Shut up you burlap sack of flaming incompetence. I want ONE DAY… just 24 little hours without hearing “Mr Iger there’s another sh*t storm in Bristol.” … What is it this time? That sassy little black gal go all Angela Davis on you again? Skipper, your concept of “diversity” is to have every ethnic group in America hating us… are transgendered Eskimos picketing us … YET?
No sir… Jemele hasn’t done anything too bad since noon our time which is 9 AM your time. Hopefully we get thru one day without another Jemele eruption. … But, uh, since I have you; I am having an issue with a group called Barstool Something or other…”
“What do you call “an issue” you pinhead?”
“Well I signed them to a 20-show deal to do a 2 AM show out-of-the-back-of-a-van … and…”
“Ahhh geeez… let me guess. You had no clue what kind of show they do. They probably are a couple of scruffies in dirty t-shirts who sit around dropping F-bombs, making whoopee cushions jokes and showing pics of skanky gals with big hooters…”
“Ahhh, yes sir. That is what they do. I fired them after one show, but it seems they have “a contract” and we owe them a rather large sum… the equivalent of a few 1,000 cord-cutters.”
“I thought I told you to never mention cord-cutting to me…? And whats this I’m hearing about some bimbo named Jenn Sterger? You could screw up a one-car funeral Skippy.”
“Yessir. You did. My bad. I have another idea that might recoup all that though.
“This oughta be a hoot. What is your great idea this time Skippy.”
“I’ve hired Colin Kaepernick’s muslim girlfriend – Nessa – to do a documentary on “How To Bring An America Sports League to Its Knees… Pun Intended”. Clever huh? Mr. Iger? … are you there, Mr Iger?”
“Mr Skipper, Mr Iger hung up. Can I leave early? My plantar fasciitis is acting up.”
… as the sun sets on another day in the bucolic New England community of Bristol.
PS: Speaking of Tough Jobs… There are 30 MLB teams. Eight of those 30 “made the playoffs”. Of those eight.. THREE have now fired the managers that got them there…. Boston, Washington and today – NY Yankees.
STOP… Before you wander off… a very important assignment. Remember that brouhaha about CarolinaPlotthound being killed by that twerp John Hood? Pierce told us there would a newer version of that UP soon. As usual AP was “on the money”. Go over to AgentPierce’s site for details on how it all came together earlier tis week … THEN go over to the new site… AP – 1st … then the new site.
What are you waiting for? Get going...