This College Basketball Scandal:
Why America Doesn’t Really Care.
Lordy Lordy… here at SaidWhatMedia’s World HQ, me and BobLee AND Blondie are busier than three one-armed paper hangars in a Cat-4 hurricane of column fodder. We never had such a Fodder Tsunami until Blondie got her own page… I’m just sayin’
“The Legend” is dealin’out the topics to insure we’re covering all the Juiciest of All The Juicy Glorious Messes falling like manna from the heavens this week. I drew the College Basketball Crap-Storm.
Blondie got Hef Died. She has a GREAT LINE she got from blogger JoBangles:
“He (Hugh Hef) sat around all day in his pajamas looking at pictures of naked girls. RIP to “The Original Millennial”. … We have Our Winner!
BL’s current piece comparing The NFL to Otis Day’s Night Club is already on its way to the Wise Guys With Websites Hall of Fame. They call him “a Legend” for A Reason.
“They” are saying this is THE BIGGEST scandal to hit Major College Basketball since…What comes after “since…” depends on how old the “they” are.
If Jack Molinas’ name is in there, “they” remember when Madison Square Garden was actually in Madison Square… and not on top of Penn Station.
If Sam Gilbert’s name is mentioned “they” can name all three of Ben Cartwright’s sons from oldest to youngest.
If “they” can spell “Golenbock”, the name Claude Sitton gives them acute indigestion.
If you say Myron Pigge and “they” say Corey Maggette, “they” recall Y2K.
If you say “P.J. & Fats Thomas”, “they” have better memories than Roy does. Roy’s already deleted them from his mind.
So you see… BIGGEST EVER depends on the size of one’s ever-verse.
Unless you live in Puerto Rico this week… you are getting whiplash trying to stay up-to-date between NFL – TRUMP – COLIN – OH MY!… and SLICK RICK IS GONE… WHO WILL BE NEXT?
If you are still stuck in Kathy Griffin DID WHAT or WHO IS JEMELE you need to upgrade that flip phone to at least an IPhone 4 or 5 minimum.
100% of College Basketball fans who are NOT totally degenerate Louisville fat cats / fan monkeys are THRILLED that…
That duplicious vampire known as Rick Pitino has been strapped into “Old Sparky”. The L-ville interim Prez will officially throw the switch next week… and then enter WITSEC to protect him from those afore-mentioned L-Ville degenerates.
Zapping Rick AND AD “Terrible Tom” Jurich means Louisville’s Three Very Corrupt Stooges is reduced to just one – Bobby Pitrino.
Allowing that Slick Rick was especially loathsome… any of a dozen other High-Profile MCBB HCs COULD BE NEXT.
“They” all knew about the shoe pay-off scams. Whether they benefitted by getting one/more or not… they ALL knew about it and they ALL know who the shadow people are.
Assuming you are a hard-core college BB fan… You will giggle, snort and dance a jig as each high profile coach is frog-marched out of his leather-covered lair in shackles and stuffed into the backseat of a black SUV with tinted windows… UNLESS…
UNLESS… IT IS YOUR GUY! Then you will wail and cry and wail and cry some more in futile protest… NO NO NO NO… MY Guy is Innocent… All Those Other Guys Are Crooked… NOT MY GUY!
We could call that Acute Kennelitis. But let’s not.
I saw one comment that Roy will plead his innocence because…
“Dadgummit, I haven’t signed a 5-star since Harrison Barnes because of all that “junk”… and, of course, Trump… and HB2 too”.
BUT Roy has visited and tried his dadgum best to sign every 5-Star ”youngster” that went elsewhere… so ROY KNOWS.
MikeK has, of course, signed a WHOLE BUNCHA 5-STARS EVERY YEAR. I guess his defense will be…
…all those 5-stars simply wanted to spend the 1.5 semesters of their college career in Beautiful West Derm.
Or Mike will take another back surgery sabbatical and let Jeff Capel twist in the wind. Unless he can find Pete Gaudet again. Pete will always “take a bullet” for K.
I PREDICT a maximum of two more Big Name Coaches will go down… one will be Auburn’s Bruce Pearl. Pick another one NOT named Calipari. A handful of Whozit coaches will be thrown into The Volcano just to get the death count looking good.
Why THIS will not destroy College BB As We Know It… is:
America likes College Basketball too much…
to change it.
Just like America likes strip clubs… and certain recreational drugs… and dirty movies on HBO and Showtime… and The Kardashians… and NFL Cheerleaders… and fully automatic rifles… and cars that can go 100+ MPH… and the high fat content of 5” high cheeseburgers with six strips of bacon… and humongous chocolate desserts… and HDTVs the size of a See Rock City sign on a barn roof.
“America Knows” all of those are decadent just as “America knows” big time major college basketball is dirtier than a hobo’s underwear. Catchy phrase. Where did I see that?
Everybody but clueless little chancellors from Dartmouth with lapel ribbons KNOW and have ALWAYS KNOWN that BTMCBB has been dirty for over 60 years… and has been TOXIC for the past 20 years.
If you ask most die-hard college BB fans why they don’t care that the whole sport is so corrupt, the “honest ones” will say something to the effect that…
It’s just a buncha black kids. Who cares?
That, sadly, may be the ONLY thing that liberal and conservative basketball fans do agree on… kinda scary… huh?… AND that may be the saddest reality to come out of this.
This week’s kerfluffle got Rick fired so it was “a good thing”. Take down a 3-4 more… BUT DON”T TAKE DOWN MY GUY. Whatever you do… leave Our Dirty Guy Who Knows alone… UNLESS he loses three-in-a-row in December in which case you can have his sorry lying *ss too.
Apparently Dick Vitale was as clueless as Chancellor Chihuahua about “all of this”. Which earns Dickie V the coveted Bill Clinton Award for Trust Me The General Public IS That Gullible.