BobLee’s 2017 Football Column: A Sad Scene in Kenan Stadium

Kenan Football Stadium
BobLee
August31/ 2017

BobLee’s 2017 Football Column:

… a very Sad Scene in Kenan Stadium

I am going straight to Hell without passing GO or getting the chance to put on asbestos underwear. I just did something very naughty. I click-baited you.

“….A Sad Scene in Kenan Stadium” guarantees me every ABCer in the Western Hemisphere is reading this.

The title NEKKID HOMICIDAL LESBIAN CHEERLEADERS would get fewer clicks.

I AM going to describe a sad scene I have witnessed often in Kenan Stadium; but it occurs in every stadium in America including yours.

As many of you recall I used to do a UNC FB pre-game show on WCHL with “my buddy Art Chansky”. We did it for three seasons which was 2.5 seasons longer than I ever imagined it could survive.

Moi with a live mic and a WCHL audience was “juggling a live hand grenade, in the dark, wearing oven mitts, while riding a unicycle”. “Jan The GM” only had to sincerely apologize to two advertisers, that I know of, and they were very small accounts. Those were “interesting seasons”.

Since I was already over yonder, I agreed to host the UNC Football Lettermen’s Lounge a/k/a “The Choo Choo Lounge” which is  located inside the South Gate of Beautiful Kenan Stadium. I could stand in the CCL doorway and watch fans Lettermen Loungeentering/leaving the stadium.

Ever alert for column fodder I was fascinated by the swarms of humanity passing before me.

It was one very very VERY HOT September Saturday that I first met The Fabulous Comparato Twins – Nicole & Paige and Mother Comparato. They appeared at “my door” in the early stages of acute heat prostration. I took them in, nursed them back to health and made three friends for life.  A highlight of that era of my life. … I digress…

EVERY Kenan Game over the 5-6 years that I managed The CCL, I watched dads with young sons and daughters, often with mom too but not always. For the purpose of this sad tale, the kids were in the 5-6-7-8 years old range.

Dad (and Mom) in their mid-late 30s, him maybe an attorney, accountant, or Produce Mgr at a Harris-Teeter. A scene right out of “a Hallmark Movie does College FB”…

Dad was proudly bringing his kids to a Carolina Football game like his dad had brought him… and like he attended when he matriculated there.

Dad would be in his “I’m a UNC Fan” gear and the son and/or daughter also bedecked as Little UNC Fans. You get the scenario. Substitute your team’s fans.

Arriving at the game the family was optimistically upbeat. Dad, as family Alpha Dog, studying his tickets for the correct gate / section, and checking for the need for a potty stop before going to their seats. The kid/kids wide-eyed in awe… overwhelmed by the bustling humanity… while holding tight to Dad’s hand.

They disappeared into the crowd as the festivities commenced…

In the early years of The Fedora Era losses were more common than they have been lately. It was upon those occasions when the final score was NOT UNC-friendly that our Norman Rockwell painting went askew.

After a Loss…our nice little family wasn’t quite the same… Same family, but Dad’s demeanor had totally changed. “Dr Jekyl” Dad had become “Mr Hyde” Dad.

Dad WAS PISSED! He was pissed at the Head Coach, one/both Coordinators, the refs and maybe both a nickel back and the deep snapper. You could read his lips…. Mad Football Dad

“Same Ol ^&^%$#* Carolina Football blah blah yadda yadda, gripe, gripe….”

The son and/or daughter were caught between still being excitedly overwhelmed by the humanity… and being ashamed of their dad.

I’ll never forget one little towhead about 6-7 looking at me forlornly as Mr Hyde Dad was cussing and stomping trying to navigate the exiting crowd who, like the crooked refs and stoopid coordinators, were all conspiring to ruin his day.

It was a look that said “Help me Mister. My dad has gone nuts.  This isn’t fun anymore”.  I gave him a wink and a “Hang in there, Kid” look.

A 6 y/o kid rolling his eyes and shrugging his shoulders… accepting that, for the time being, HE was The Man in the family.

Different families but same sicko scenarios after Kenan losses.  After every Carter-Finley, Wally Wade, or Dowdy-Ficklin Loss too, I bet..

I considered keeping a ball bat or a 3’ piece of rebar handy to beat the crap out of Mr. Hyde Dads but decided it was yet another flaw in humanity beyond my ability to fix.

If reading this keeps YOU from being a Mr. Hyde Dad (or Granddad) maybe it was worth it.

Enjoy all the Color & Pageantry of a Special Day with your family. Stick that pathetic vicarious bragging rights crap where the sun don’t shine.

Oops… I’ve run out of space. I haven’t gone on My Annual Rant about how I care even less about “watching football” this season than I did last season.

The advantage of having one’s own website is that I can do that next time….

OK… I WILL predict that The Men of Doeren will defeat the USC Gamecocks and whoever their coach is these days.  Wuff fans will get overly optimistic for what will be an 8 Win season.   Swoffy still has State firmly embedded in The Division From Hell so it’ll be another Whozit Bowl.

Not sure who UNC plays but they probably win by 10 points.

###

Whatever you do… DON’T READ AGENTPIERCE.  He got too many hits on that TransPark piece.  I need to humble him.  …. Heres the LINK not to click on…

BobLee

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ultraviolet
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ultraviolet

OK you got me. Can you be gentle pulling the hook out?

Tin foil hat heel
Guest

Archive and repost at the start of every football season from now til Doomsday, which by my account will fall around 2019.. Not surprised in the least by the end result of the scoreboard yesterday but was miffed about the manner in which it occurred. Then again THIS IS TARHEEL FOOTBALL. What I found personally amusing is that while the friendly skies of Carolina were making the Cal QB look like the 2nd coming of Joe Kapp and the Golden Bears were chewing up half the final period to put the game away I muttered to myself the question of… Read more »

JP
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JP

The last college football game I saw was Navy – Notre Dame, about thirty years ago. Navy lost. As a former enlisted man, I approve of middies getting the snot knocked out of them as a necessary training tool, but watching it is tedious. Now, if they bring in wooden broadswords and rocks, then I might watch.

Doug
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Doug

Saturday down south – Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it’s much more serious than that.

Mayberry Jim
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Mayberry Jim

Because my older brother was a freshman at UNC I attended a FB game in Kenan with my parents in 1964 at about 13 years of age. I don’t think it was a sellout but there was a pretty good crowd. Our seats were fairly near the top on about the 40 or so. It was a beautiful day. Midway in the first quarter someone threw a toilet paper roll in the air which partially unfurled and landed elsewhere in the stands. Of course someone else picked it up and the process repeated. I had never seen such revelry, and… Read more »

ultraviolet
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ultraviolet

You should’ve told that student usher what to do with his safety patrol sash.

OldWuf Vet
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OldWuf Vet

I’ve attended FB Games at CF sporadically over the years since I lost my free tickets as a student years ago. Took the kids a few times. Worst experience was the Dayton loss during Chuck the Chest’s farewell season. Had some spoiled, very drunk twenty-somethings behind us that had gotten daddy’s company tickets. They cursed and carried on the whole time; thankfully they were so drunk they didn’t find their way back after halftime. I had both kids with me so I could only cover the youngest ones ears. One of my vet school classmates offered me tickets and parking… Read more »

NCSU68Grad
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NCSU68Grad

First CF game – Dookie – cira 1957 or so. Dook invited every NC HS band that had more than 25 members. Filled the field as well as a little of the stands. Sparse crowd back then. Can still remember the notes to the Dook fight song. Second CF game – NCSU circa 1960 – Gabe was playing. Now 77 and in poor health. THEN…1963. NCSU games in rickety Riddick. You HAD to have a Camel Blazer (from the Varsity Men’s Wear shop on Hillsborough St) with an NCSU “Crest” (free if you paid cash). Folks back then dressed up… Read more »

Dandy.Don
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Dandy.Don

BobLee’s Official Football Column did not step on MY toes. No Sireee! . Because I don’t take my grandkids to games in Kenan Stadium. Least not very often. They’re too busy living their own lives and playing their own games. But when I do, I do behave. ???? . I only act like a jerk when I’m there with Ole BC or LRP or Wuff Pack or Dookie types. Or when the Heels are playing Miami on national tv on a Thursday night and the Heels are tied or lead the game all night until the final 16 stinkin’ seconds… Read more »

myowngrandpaw
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myowngrandpaw

College game day has gone the way of the Airlines. Repainting the numbers to the aluminum benches to ADD more seats. I would be happy with an 17″ (787s aircraft) seat at Carter. EVERYTHING is attached to a tire store, garbage truck, bank, etc..Money, Money, Money. TV commercials have extended the games from two hours to four. Sorry, my old a… can’t sit there that long, and bathroom breaks have become more frequent! It became a CHORE to go cheer on the red and white. I do watch, I do care, I do dislike UNC fans(including my side of the… Read more »

FightingBobKennel, Jr.
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FightingBobKennel, Jr.

Just so everyone knows, I invented Dr. Jekyll. AND Mr. Hyde.

Lakepacker
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Lakepacker

it is amazing that age has a way of making those losses seem less important. Quality time with kids and grandkids just makes for a fun afternoon or evening. Or maybe as Pack fans we have become accustomed to the same old, same old. However, there is always next year. But wait, next year is here, at least for now.

Former96heel
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Former96heel

Oh my the fb expectations are way too high there right now. I have no idea who is on the team now, but I do know most of the skill positions left last year. It has the potential to be a banner year for Mr Hyde fans amongst the pines. Lots of blame to be placed around.
.
Out of curiosity, I think they play odu on the road this year. What compels them to schedule that??? That stinks of a bad road loss early in the year to me.

JD
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JD

Cal Berkeley vs NC Chapel Hill on Saturday. Should it be called the Snowflake Bowl, Marxist Bowl , or Resist Bowl? Anyone standing for the Star Spangled Banner will be pepper sprayed by your local Antifa members. For halftime entertainment Silent Sam will be brought to the 50 yard line and spray painted with last year’s spray paint not needed after losing the Victory Bell. All tickets will be paid for by the “rich” and everyone will have equally terrible seats.

Elrod
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Elrod

My very first college FB game was actually in Chapel Hill was around 1960, with my Dad. The Heels won and everyone seemed to be happy. On the way out, we walked past an older man and his wife wearing the other team’s colors. Of course, he was wearing a coat and tie, and she was wearing a real dress, which was normal for that time. Out of the blue comes a couple of strapping young Heel fans, who see the old couple. They proceeded to curse them, then one of the fellows landed a haymaker on the old man’s… Read more »

Deacon
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Deacon

yes I was “click baited”….”cuss words…cuss words….!!!”
as a Wolfpack’er am hoping you are a good procrastinator
we’ll see Saturday

great reminder for us all, it is a game,…actions…to the youngsters do matter…have fun…behave.

DM Carpenter
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DM Carpenter

Goshamighty, I am in position to “one-up” BobLee. My two are 12 and 13, they both play the line. Worse than fan Hyde is Daddy/Momma/Uncle/Grandpa Hyde. Watching a kid see one (or two) of those “cuffed and stuffed” at a club ball game is the absolute nadir. Some people do not have “good sense”, if they could only fake it, at least while the kids are playing.