Internet Legend Squashes Name-Change Rumor!

August23/ 2017

“Internet Legend” Squashes Name-Change Rumor

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NO – NO –NO… I am NOT going to change to … Whatever rumors to the contrary come from ESPN CEO John Skipper (UNC’75). I AM NOT GONNA DO IT!

I AM, however, considering the possibility of John”GrayGhost” (see picture above). A cost estimate for logo changes will be the chief determinant. is OK too; but I’ve always seen myself as the dashing “Gray Ghost” of The Confederacy, plume in my hat, et al. But Jeb Stuart was pretty dashing too.

Someone has suggested  No clue where THAT came from.

For The Record:  I stopped caring about Silent Sam decades ago.  As long as it’s mere existence “really pisses off” the Chapel Hill Gang I figured it was serving a worthwhile purpose.  All it “represents” to me is “more concrete in the Chapel Hill colon”.

Ya jest sort knew it was gonna be “one of those nights”.

It started innocently enough at 6:32 PM.  My pal “Butch’s Lawyer” and I were exchanging “how stoopid would it be if…” zingers about pretty much everything going on on Earth these days. His ideological perspective is askew from mine so between us we cover the landscape.

I mean REALLY??? There is soooo much Column Fodder falling like manna from Heaven right now I am in danger of “foundering” like a thoroughbred race horse eating too much grain…. Burp!

“Butch’s Lawyer” (i.e. BL… no relation to this BL, just a coincidence, if indeed there are such things as coincidences any more) was suggesting possible replacements for Silent Sam. He was working on a Joe Paterno Statue concept when the Muse of SmartAssity tapped me on the shoulder… and whispered “Mary Willingham” …. and before you could say “Dust Bunny From Dartmouth” I fricken’ OWNED TWITTER.

NOTE: “Dust Bunny From Dartmouth” is my latest back-up unflattering nickname for UNCCH’s Chancellor Chihuahua. If you didn’t figure that out, not much of any of this is going to penetrate your razor-sharp sense of humor.

So I tweeted:

BREAKING NEWS: Chancellor Chihuahua Announces Sam Is A Goner… to be replaced with a statue of Mary Willingham Blowing A Whistle…

In an extended FACEBOOK version I added… Whereas Sam’s tradition involved shooting his rifle “if a virgin ever walked by”… Mary will blow her whistle if a RoyBoy ever walks by that can R-E-A-D.

Kate Upton burger

Who knew there were that many ABCers on Twitter. Within 30 minutes I had more “LIKES” than that X-rated Hardees commercial with Kate Upton eating the juicy burger.

Of course, there was one TruBlue Twitterite of marginal mental acuity who declared “They better NOT do that. I will personally tear that one down…”. YEEEE HA!

I put out a Twitter BOLO:   if anyone sees “my buddy Chansky” say “Hi” from BobLee.  No “confirmed” Art sightings were reported.

After lighting those short fuses across social media (including sending a copy to “Mary” who replied with a “rolling eyes” emoji)… I alternated between watching “my Cardinals” get steamrolled 12-4 by some AAA team called “The Padres”…. and watching the “LIVE From Franklin Street” reports on regional print/TV media.

Jim Goodmon’s WRAL nimrods were the first media to flaunt their partisan incompetence…

HEADLINE at 7:30 PM…. “THOUSANDS Gather at UNC to protest Silent Sam!” …. The 2nd paragraph, however, noted “several hundred protestors” gathered at Silent Sam. Between a luridly provocative and quite incorrect HEADLINE and the article itself…. “hundreds” of protestors got misplaced somehow.

Two hours later, “THOUSANDS” was quietly changed to “Hundreds”. No, I didn’t call my buddy Jim Goodmon but someone obviously did.

The N&O’s Andrew Carter was on-site and more honest (I can’t believe I said that…). Andrew admitted he was bad at crowd estimating, tending to over-estimate, so he figured “several hundred”.

I, of course, could not resist reminding Andrew of the notorious Jim Goodmon toadie Peter Anlyan and his “… at least 80,000, maybe more” for “Bully” Barber infamous Hoot & Hate several years ago. That 80,000 was later quietly reduced to “maybe 5,000” AFTER the national media was running with the 80,000…. Apparently Peter was not on duty last night on Franklin Street.

Observers on-site noted a high % of “the crowd” were curious UNC students attracted by Chancellor Chihuahua fervent request that they NOT attend. Even Chihuahua oughta be smart enough (??) to know telling college students NOT to do something is guaranteed to have the opposite effect. Had Chihuahua made attendance mandatory the crowd would have been half its modest size. The “Dartmouth Dust Bunny” strikes again.

I did LOVE this one pic from the Sam Must Go Show. My Twitter comment on that was…


That nutjob in yellow has that well-known “I AM INSANE!” look so common around Chapel Hill. I think they practice it in front of a mirror before each protest.

That one garnered a lot of “Likes” too.  As Blondie noted… “letting you on Twitter is like giving a three year-old a magic marker… no good will come of it”. …. MOI ???

Enough about the “whatever it was” last night. Ol’ Sam survived but for how long is the question. NC Governor Roy Cooper (who still looks like an Asst Manager at the Dollar Store in Benson) issued a fumbling bumbling statement sorta kinda supporting tearing Sam down but noting doing so would definitely be against the law… but he plans to change that nasty old law so rabid mobs CAN destroy public property.

Memo To “The Coop”: You sir are a pinhead and a twit.

“Coop’s” little pal Josh “Golden Child” Stein – NC Attorney General – voiced his full support of “all rabid mob protestors, including the urine throwers, regardless of their illegal tactics who might vote for me when I replace Mr Cooper”.

Josh “The Golden Child” is a real piece of work too… yes siree!

AND… while CHAOS REIGNED in Chapel Hill… NC State quietly announced it had kicked two “bad boys” off its FB team and suspended 3 others.  It was the usual sexual assaults stuff at “a party with alcohol and drugs etc etc…”  I congratulated Kennel on Coach DD and Frau for “Tough Love” in dropping the hammer.  BK was apparently IN SHOCK that such young miscreants had ever been recruited.  DD only recruits Eagle Scouts… or so BK claims.

Now lets get to ESPN’s BIG STORY….

While regional media was counting Silent Sam protestors and “my Cardinals” were being trounced… those little merry munchkins at The Worldwide Leader up in Bristol were busy little elves.   Surely you have already “heard this one”.

ESPN announced they were transferring one of their assigned announcers for an early FB game in “CHARLOTTESVILLE” to another location.

NOTE: Has CHARLOTTESVILLE now joined Sandy Hook, Waco, Oklahoma City, Columbine, Chappaquiddick and Dallas as “places forever associated with something bad that happened there”? Who decides stuff like that?

Sooo… that young announcer being moved away from the UVA FB game in “Charlottesville” was a young Asian fellow named “ROBERT LEE”. No “E” just “Robert Lee”.  ESPN feared “bringing a Robert Lee” to “Hoo-ville” could have regrettable consequences.

Immediately an Eskimo named Jefferson Davis driving west on I-64  from Richmond, cancelled his reservation at The Boar’s Head Inn and spent the night in Danville instead.

Who knows if ESPN Buffoonish CEO John Skipper (UNC’75) had his thumb in this one or not but I’m sticking it to “Skippy” because “Skippy” is indeed “a BUFFOON”.

Within minutes of Clay Travis announcing this 5-Star GUFFAW on Tucker Carlson’s FoxNews show I was being besieged…

Was “BobLee” being pressured to change the name of this website? …

“Pressured” by whom?

Bre’r Kennel was too busy composing another of his clever LTTE manifestos for the N&O; plus even BK “knows better”.

No, is, so far, under-the-radar as a possible ignitor of “regrettable consequences”. But, to be clear, I was not planning any visits to Monticello in the near future although Blondie does love to visit there.

Betcha didn’t know that Donald Trump (YIKES!) has a winery just outside “Hooville”. The coincidences never cease.

Everyone on the planet with a twitter account is guessing WHERE/WHEN WILL THIS ABSURDITY END and proposing bazillions of hypothetical next ridiculous moves… by the rabid mongrel mob and their Trump-hatin’ media enablers.

I don’t have that answer… but I’ll sure be doing my darnedest to share my thoughts as they do occur.

Right here at …. By golly!

OMG!  AgentPierce RE:  Global TransPark GOES VIRAL…

in 3 Hours! – CLICK


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