Chicken Little Fans… a.k.a The Cult of Constipated Crazies

Chicken Little Fan
August02/ 2017

Chicken Little Fans… a.k.a The Cult of Constipated Crazies.

BL on Baseball

These are interesting times to be a St. Louis Cardinals fan. The team is not winning games this season with the frequency that its legions of loyal fans have come to expect.

DID YOU KNOW:  In the two decades of this millennium, the only two pro sports franchises NOT to experience lapses of mediocrity are the New England Patriots and YOUR St. Louis Cardinals.

For the sake of getting to my point… the “hated Cubs” are leading the NL Central, winning just five more games so far this season than the Cardinals.  Many teams have overcome far greater deficits, including, of course, the 2011 Cardinals.

Am I expecting another 2011 September Miracle this season. No, but we’ll get to that in a few minutes.


If “Yadi” had asked my advice before his recent Instagramming flurry, I would have advised “No, Yadi, don’t do that.”

If Matheny had asked my advice prior to his recent comments about Cardinals fans, I would have advised “No, Mike, don’t do that.”

Neither sought my advice. What can I say… sigh.

Mike Matheny reminds me too much of UNC Basketball Coach Roy Williams.  Little / Nothing that either man ever says should have ever been said.  Aarrgghh!


Today, our topic is Chicken Little Fans a.k.a The Cult of Constipated Crazies

OMG THE SKY IS FALLING !!! Chicken Little

Chicken Littles get furious when mentioning “the September 2011 Miracle”. I mention it because I enjoy watching their little heads explode.

I’m fine if the Constipated Crazies whip themselves into a lather… or do swan dives off the Top of The Arch… …. or, go on fan sites to rage in ALLCAPS…

Because the Cardinals will not take their Sage Advice about “fixing the team”.

“Fixing the team” defined as: (1) firing X, Y, and Z management l IMMEDIATELY”… and/or… (2) releasing whoever struck out or gave up a key hit in last night’s game… and/or… (3) spending a bazillion DeWitt $$$ on today’s Superstar Du Jour.

WHY does every Chicken Little think he speaks for ALL of Cardinals Nation?  No one fan does; especially some constipated crazy.

Before discounting Sage Advice from “a Chicken Little Fan” (“CL”) remember…

  • CL once finished 3rd in his water cooler fantasy league.  He knows what OPS is, but is not sure about WHIP.
  • CL can’t quote the Infield Fly Rule… but he is certain that Bill DeWitt is a member of The Tri-Lateral Commission. Huh?
  • He has an impressive collection of Cardinals’ bobbleheads
  • He once stood in line at IMO’s with someone he is pretty sure was Al Hrobosky.

My concern with Chicken Littles and the Constipated Crazies IS…. that The Real BFIBs don’t develop thse concrete colons.

Real BFIBs like these fine folks at St. Louis Cardinals Fans & Friends.    Decades loyal Cardinals fans who budget to attend 4-5 games a year at BuschStadium… and tune in FSMW to watch The Cards and listen to Dan McLaughlin, Al, Jim, Rick and Tim… and Shannon.

Damn right you want the Cardinals to win EVERY GAME… but, unlike Chicken Little and his ilk YOU HAVE A LIFE!

I LOVE YOU GUYS who deserve to consider yourselves BFIBs.

Oh… Oh… Let me tell you a secret about one Chicken Little Fan.

He got soooo mad at LaRussa in Game Six 2011 that, in the 7th inning, he threw the remote at his TV shattering the screen.

Ergo… Chicken Little missed, arguably, The Greatest Last Four Innings in MLB History… in my opinion.

THAT is why The CL Cult is so permanently constipated. Don’t Be a Chicken Little Fan.

In Conclusion…

I do NOT believe the 2017 Cardinals will “make The Playoff’.   I have accepted that likelihood.  I will be delighted to be wrong.

The current roster is made up of some fine young men, worthy to wear “The Birds on The Bat” and a credit to the St. Louis community… BUT they are NOT among the 100 or so Best MLB ballplayers.

To BE on a MLB roster is an outstanding achievement for a young man.  To be “a playoff team” a team needs a few “among the best” players. Not everyone… but 2-3.

I would love to see the current organization – owner to 40-man Roster be successful and among the 3-4 best teams in MLB. I do not see that happening THIS season.

I forsee noticeable changes forthcoming consistent with traditionally successful organizations.

I am not qualified to say which personnel changes are needed. I have no feel for the “chemistry” within the organization. “Chicken Little” doesn’t either. Despite what he reads on the Internet from other Chicken Littles as equally clueless as he is.  DUH!

I am confident these organizational issues are being evaluated and re-evaluated by those far more qualified to do so than I am… or than “Chicken Little” is.

Every employee of the Cardinals from owner to the newest member of the grounds crew has more invested in the team’s game-by-game and season success than I do.

Mad Guy

Thinking “we” CARE MORE than they do is ridiculous. Does “Chicken Little” really believe that? OK, he probably does.“Chicken Little” is nutz. Don’t Be “a Chicken Little Fan”!

Baseball is a unique sport where “Failure is the norm” – a .300 hitter gets to Cooperstown – a bloop single counts more than a deep fly out to the Warning Track – an umpire calls a 3-2 pitch “on the black” a ball OR a strike and a pitcher is a Bum or a Hero.

Do you vicariously leave your self-worth and personal happiness up to such vagarities? Ya might wanna rethink that, Bunky.

That is as STOOPID as leaving a puppy in a closed-up Toyota Corolla in the Chesterfield Mall parking lot at noon on a 100 degree August day.

Be a BFIB!



LOTS MORE of BL on Baseball … LINK


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