Weekend Walk on the WildSide

Carter Cruise
July10/ 2017

That fresh-faced girl smiling at you up top there.  Pretty as the proverbial speckled pup, isn’t she?  Her name is Carter Cruise.  She’s from Cary and studied pre-law at ECU.  More about her in a few minutes.  But first…

It started out as a pretty normal week-end. Blondie had a double handful of gardening/landscaping To-Dos. One involved “a strong back”, i.e. moi, moving a concrete birdbath. All the others were “puttering”.  We have learned over 33 years that is best done solitarily.

The Cardinals were primed to take a 2-1 series win over the Mets. I don’t like day games. I end up with nothing to look forward to when they are over.

Around 1 PM on Sunday, my weekend “got interesting”. Before the sun would set I would “cruise” the back alleys of both Sodom & Gomorrah.  Including those seedier areas tourists normally avoid. Especially those areas.

NOTE: That last paragraph is THE GRABBER. I now own your full attention for the next 500 or so words. Hehehehe…

This was The Day Raleigh either took a giant step “forward” OR yet another slip’n slide towards The Abyss.Bloody Marys

Brunching Raleighites can now purchase alcoholic beverages BEFORE NOON On Sundays. Beginning at 10:00 AM.

The folks that make Mr & Mrs T’s Bloody Mary Mix are delighted.  As well as the “mimosa” industry.

There IS a “mimosa” industry?

I would learn from an indignant local info-babe that The Brunch Booze Bill was economic salvation for 1,000s of area “service industry employees”. WHO KNEW!

My informant works for WRAL’s Jim Goodmon. UH OH!

Me and Jim Sr “have a history”. I ain’t a big fan of his. I have no reason to think Julia Sims Juia Simswould know or care about that… but maybe?

Julia Sims a.k.a “indignant WRAL info-babe” did not say if the 1,000s of service industry employees were among the MILLIONS WHO WILL DIE if Obamacare is repealed.

Or the …at least 80,000, maybe more that Jim Goodnon’s pal Rev. “Bully” Barber gets for his Hoot & Hates. At least according to Jim’s Toadie Peter Anlyan.

Maybe Peter Anlyan also counted those 1,000s of now prospering bartenders too?

So I see a tweet from “Julia” rejoicing over the Brunch Booze Bill dragging Raleigh kicking and screaming into the post-prohibition era.

I tweet that I am always amazed how much “being able to consume alcohol” matters to some people. I wasn’t being “critical”, just “amazed”.

NOTE: My annual alcohol consumption is minimal.  Between beer, wine, Bloody Marys and frozen Marqueritas, about a dozen drinks total per annum. But hey, I’m no tea-totaler as I informed Julia.

Julia then informs me she (1) had just attended church and (2) was headed to yoga.  OK.  “Attended church” establishing her Christian temperance creds which I never doubted. She never explained the “yoga” part.

She trumpeted how this was a great day for the afore-mentioned “service industry employees”. That is info-babe lingo for bartenders and cocktail waitresses.

We parried and thrusted a couple of more tweets.  Then she went dark… probably reaching her yoga place.

The Cardinals game started. I figured enough vice-oriented excitement for one day. Not so fast Bunky.


I get this e-mail from a DownEast acquainti who shall remain nameless for reasons to soon be obvious.  Did I know, he asked, that…

ECU has a For Real Porno Star alum?

Her Porn Star name is Carter Cruise.

(Yep… that smiling gal up top there).

Carter Cruise2


Selecting “suitable images” for this column was a challenge.  There are an abundance of pics to choose from.   Darn few passed the Don’t Give Ol’ Kennel a Coronary Test.

I knew that UNCCH had Haley Koch a.k.a. “the only Morehead Scholar to ever be pepper sprayed on campus” and later become an S&M Star on “the dark web”.

Duke, of course, has Belle Knox… just a girl trying to earn her college tuition using the gifts God gave her.  Bless her heart.

I was not up-to-speed on ECU’s addition to the Adult Film Industry. With ECU’s well-earned reputation as a Golden Corral Buffet of Coed Pulchritude should this be a surprise?  Move over Sandra Bullock.

Being an investigative Not-A-Journalist my curiosity was “aroused”. No pun intended.

What am I saying? I fully intended that pun.

My first thought was… does Julia Sims know about this? Should I interrupt her yoga to tell her? Better not.  She’s already kinda touchy.

My second thought was… what I will do for Primo Column Fodder.

My third thought was… how much of this am I gonna have to explain to Albert?


Not only was Ms. Carter Cruise an ECU coed from 2009-2013 majoring in psychology and pre-law… SHE GREW UP IN CARY!

Cary – “The Stepford of Wake County” – where painting one’s mailbox the wrong shade of beige can land one in the stocks on the public square.  Cary has a Porn Star.

My Column Fodder cup runneth over.

Carter Cruise’s Wikipedia page is herein LINKED.

It is PG-rated… sort of.

WARNING: There is a section at the bottom of the page listing all the AVN Awards she has won or been nominated for.  AVN Awards are the Oscars of the Porn Industry.

The descriptions of the various categories of awards are a mite too graphically descriptive if you get my drift.

This enterprising young Cary / ECU girl is quite talented indeed to qualify for awards in so many varieties of this cinematic art form.  She is not simply “a performer”.  Carter Cruise is a Rising Star in…

The #1 Most PopularCategory on the Internet.  Both in #s of websites, visits and BILLIONS of $$$ generated.

IF your curiosity takes you beyond her Wikipedia page please be aware that…

This is NOT the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Tryout Show on CMT.

This is NOT going to lunch at Hooters with your buddies.

This is NOT the SI Swimsuit Issue.

This IS the Durham County Fair Hootchee Kootchee Tent on Monday night before the sheriff deputies shut it down…. except with pretty girls and better lighting.

I could tell you not to get too curious.  That might have the reverse effect.  Google Carter Cruise if you must, and…  Hang on Sloopy!

She was home-schooled in Cary before graduating from Cary High in 2009. Whether Carter garnered any Superlative awards at Cary or at ECU is not noted. The mind reels. One imagines her possible appearance at their 10th high school reunion in 2019 will be eagerly anticipated.

Blondie had a for-real trany – Jack > Jacque – show up at her 40th.

There are a few interesting quotes from her Dad. He “fully supports my career choice” says Carter. A BL Buddy was taken aback by that.

I explained that Carter’s original vocational direction at ECU was “to be a lawyer”.

Daddy Cruise was simply paraphrasing that old line…

“Don’t tell my mamma I’m a lawyer.  She thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.”

And with that, my Weekend Walk on The Wild Side concluded.

What? No “El Chapo” Guzman on the front porch selling magazine subscriptions?  Maybe next weekend.

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